Next door neighbour asking daily for my parking space

[Chocolatecoffeecream]

NDN has a child with disability, so do I. Our road is near a school and always busy. A few weeks ago she called me to say her dd was unwell and she couldn’t park near the house would I mind moving my car so she could have the space outside my house, I said yes of course and moved my car to the next road as there were not any nearer spaces but it wasn’t an issue for what I thought was a one off emergency.

Since then she is asking all the time , daily, if she can’t get a space and sees my car nearer the houses she calls and calls or parks elsewhere then knocks to say can I move as she needs the space as her dd is disabled. When I say no sorry I need the space she is getting really irritated. I said she should perhaps contact the council to see if they can add a disabled parking space ?
She knocked at 11pm one night last week to ask me to move as it would make it easier im the morning for her, I lied and said I’d had too much wine and she said ‘well give me the keys I’ll get dp to move yours ‘!

AIBU to put a note through her door to request that she stops doing this as it’s getting to the point where I feel harassed ?

she's bat shit!

When I say no sorry I need the space she is getting really irritated.
well done for saying "no", stick with it. She can be as irritated as she likes.

why wouldn't she?

Some men actually try to be nice and non-confrontational, and more likely to give in to unreasonable requests from insane woman than their wives.

Next time she asks say you will not in any circumstances be giving up your space and she needs to stop asking you. If you’re feeling generous you can say you’d be happy to write a supporting letter to the council when she requests a space. If she continues to ask then give it a week, make a record of her contact (but don’t answer the phone/door etc) and write a letter at the end of the week outlining when you told her to leave you alone: what she has done a since and on what dates, and say that in your view it’s harassment and any continuation of this behaviour will be reported as such.

When I say no sorry I need the space she is getting really irritated.

I've just re-read the OP and I didn't fully notice this part before. This speaks volumes and proves that she doesn't see it as you doing her a big favour; she sees it as her entitlement if she is getting irritated at you for not rolling over and giving in to what she demands. How very dare she!

Become unavailable

She is just going to have to learn to deal with this. The disabled spot isn’t the answer; anyone with a blue badge can use them. If it’s full of school parents parking, a whole bunch will have blue badges and it will become of their regular parking spots so it’ll only really work for her if she isn’t needing to park it during the school run time. And even then, she’d have to hope no neighbours nearby have a blue badge as parking sounds a nightmare so they’d happily use it.

It means you have to have a word and tell her to stop, because this problem wont go away with a disabled space or not.

Text her. "Going forward, im not going to be moving my car. Please stop asking me. Here's a link to apply for a disabled space."

If she continues don't answer. If she knocks say "as I said, I'm not going to be moving my car for you".

She's a cf.

You did the right thing the first time. You had no idea that it would lead to her trying to take advantage and harass you over this.

Coming to your house at 11 at night is completely unacceptable. Many people are in bed by then.

It is also unfair of her to get irritable over you not handing over something that is yours but that she wants.

I wouldn't send a note though. I'd be very firm and clear and tell her that you were happy to help once in a while or in the case of an emergency, but she has taken advantage of your kindness and therefore you will not be moving your car for her going forward.

I'd stop answering if she keeps bugging you and if she tries to stop by at 11 at night again, I'd tell her off.

Give people an inch, they take a mile.

A simple ' no, please don't ask again, it's not up for discussion' is all you need. Then just don't engage. Don't answer door, messages, calls etc. Ignore her if she asks again, fade her out. It's not your problem or responsibility. She's a CF.

this, short ,clear & simple

OP, you need to start refusing her or it will never stop. I say that as a blue badge holder myself.

As PP have said, she needs to request a disabled space outside her house, but she does need to accept that any blue badge holder can park in it at any time.

No, and please stop asking

maybe this is all you need!!

You are nicer than most. I would just tell her to move to a property with a private drive or reserved space if it's such a big deal.

She's being rude and demanding to you, unreasonable, and not taking the first steps to ask for a place she could be entitled to. She can bugger off.

Unless the child is coming home from hospital, do not oblige again.
Explain that as a one off you were happy to move but from now on you need to inform her that you will keep your car close for xxx reasons. Discuss with her some helpful options like a wheel chair, scooter specialised for her child, asking her DP to assist, writing to the council, etc

Like I’d be awake at 11pm!! That’s a real nerve. Definitely stand up for yourself and do not allow her to bully you into this.

She is a CF who sees you as a pushover. Why doesn't she ever ask any other neighbours to move their cars, so she can have their spaces? Presumably because she knows that they will tell her to 'go away'.

This!

This is great: short, unambiguous, direct!

I wouldn’t get into your reasons for needing to keep the car close, or needing that space, as technically it is not your space, and neither of you have ownership or priority for it.

However, I would absolutely stop the requests for you to move your car, would definitely recommend focusing on that aspect only.

Plenty of really good suggestions for wording on here, but I would definitely do it in person initially, not when she’s knocking ask you to move your car; just next time you see her anyway. Easier said than done, but well worth it so that you can actually relax in your own home!

Write a big note and laminate it and stick it to your front door that says NO - I WILL NOT MOVE MY CAR FOR YOU.

I have neighbours that insist they are entitled to block me in for the past 18 years
you have to clamp down quickly and never explain
mine get nothing now apart from “move your car”

You didn’t give her your keys did you?! Hope not!

YANBU. I would block her number and refuse to open the door.

I would first acknowledge her problem with spaces, say she needs to find other means of solving it, like the suggestion you have made about getting a disabled spot allocated for her residence. But as well, I would tell her quite clearly that you're not a public resource and that continuing to ask you to move your car for her benefit is starting to feel like harassment, especially at late hours like 11pm.

If she’s that entitled and cheeky frankly I wouldn’t want to be involved with her more than absolutely necessary.

Can you rehearse with yours Dh, a friend or the mirror, saying exactly what you say in your post?

The first time but it seemed an emergency and I was happy to help. But my child has disabilities too. Maybe you should apply to the Council for a designated Disabled Bay?

You could even be kind, and do a bit of research & tell your neighbour how she could go about this.

Friend of mine has a physical disability, a Blue Badge, & a Motability car. There is a Disabled Bay right outside her house, which I think she requested.

The spot is not "hers" - if there's another Blue Badge user, they are legally OK to use it, but mostly she gets an easy parking spot. Which is great, as getting up her front garden steps is enough of a challenge for her some days.

Why? You go online and fill out a form. Each local authority has an easily found link. Google doesn't hide them