to think brides need to issue rules about what people are allowed to wear?

[SnoozingFox]

No white
Nothing with even a HINT of white/cream
No pale colours which in a certain light might look white
No lace
No red
No black

etc etc etc. Is this the new normal as it certainly wasn't when I got married, none of the weddings I have been to were we ever asked to run outfits past the bride before the event.

Madness.

Of course not. The sort of brides that do this are probably quite young and overly influenced by social media. Normal women don't worry about stuff like this.

The ‘rules’ you listed above have always been basic etiquette at any wedding I have attended, I don’t consider any of them madness. I would never consider anything for a wedding if I ever felt I’d have to run it by the couple/the bride in the first place.

In recent years I do see more people wearing black dresses as wedding guests though.

What's wrong with red now?

Maybe everyone should be issued with a standard dress in a shade of sludgy brown, so as not to upstage the bride and cause any confusion.

I've always been told you shouldn't wear white/cream to a wedding, and I'd avoid the bridal party colours if I knew them.

Anything more than that and I'd probably not come, unless I already had a dress that fitted the rules.

@SnoozingFox Are you saying you DON'T think a list of rules should be issues? Because your thread title suggests the opposite.

Apparently it's the colour that the mistress of the groom wear. (I know. Nuts).

And green is unlucky.

Blimey, I had three people wear red dresses at my wedding recently! My DH has been a busy boy!

How long til pjs become acceptable ? I’m sure once the next generation start getting married it will all be pjs , leggings and crocs . No formal attire .

I think this thread might get lifted for being a TAAT. Don't everyone get too comfortable.

In the real world people wear all kinds of outfits and nobody cares! No lace? That’s a new one to me, no red? Unless it’s an Indian wedding I’ve never heard of that rule (Indian brides tend to wear red, but otherwise you cannot be overdressed at an Indian wedding, sequins and rhinestones are de rigor!!!

I would say the only rule that makes ANY sense is not to wear a floor length white/ivory dress.

A white dress which is 50% blue/orange flowers is fine. Or red with white spots. Or navy and white stripes. Pastel colours are fine. Lace decoration is fine. Don't have a problem with people wearing black, red or anything else.

It’s really not. They’d was a Reddit story that went viral that featured that myth and now it’s supposedly a thing, it’s made up.

people do tend to avoid red in western weddings or situations where people dont want to be centre of attention as it stands out and draws the eye especially in photos

i am confused, do you think they should or shouldn’t issue rules ?

Red= never knew this was a no no ?

black = old folk lore states it showed you disapproved if the union but unless you are dressed like you are off to a funeral it should not be commented on

white = no one should dress like they were the bride or could be mistaken for the bride

never been to a wedding were this has needed to be stated in the invite ?

Not a TAAT. Maybe a TA lots and lots of T. There are umpteen threads about people being told their dress is too long, too cream/white, too fancy, too red, too might upstage the bride-y.

It really is a minefield. When you get a wedding invite you have no way of knowing whether the bride is a crazy "OMG she's got a white pattern on her dress" type or a more laid-back/sensible one.

My mum wore a cream linen suit with my blessing - she looked great. My MIL wore a red suit!

What I mean is : if you are the sort of bridezilla who is going to throw a strop about guests' clothing choices, it's only fair to issue them with a list of what you deem is appropriate. It's unfair to let them shop for outfits they feel are perfectly acceptable and then tell them they are unsuitable.

It was all so much easier when everything had to be done by post or a telephone call, brides were far too busy organising a wedding to be bogged down writing letters or telephoning everyone to police their outfit colour, length, design etc. etc..

Every wedding I've been to has had a dress code of some sort.
I'm happy to wear sky blue pink if I'm being fed and watered.

I remember my sister asking a bride if there were any colours she would prefer her not to wear as a wedding guest. Bride said "well of course no pale or pastel colours"

Made me really question who I'd offended previously with my pastel colour dresses! We did think it was strange thought tbh and I did not care who wore what at my wedding

They shouldn't have to issue rules. Basic wedding etiquette is as old as the hills. You don't wear white or anything that resembles a wedding dress because you'd look like a plonker. When you say "mistress of the groom" does that literally mean his bit on the side or is this a new role invented by social media?

I had a very, very small winter wedding. Less than 15 people. I chatted with everyone and we all agreed that we wanted lovely family photos and I shared my ideas for a general colour scheme and checked people were comfortable with it.

It wasn't forced, no one was upset. The photos turned out gorgeous and we all have them in our houses now.

I think it depends how it is communicated and what the reasons are. I would have no issue someone saying to me "please wear a darker, wintery colour".

I think I would have an issue if someone tried to dictate type of clothes e.g strappy dress. People know what they reel comfortable in and we all have different body types.

Sorry what are you frothing about? That one mumsnet post? Bridezillas (or bridesmaidzillas) exist in every generation, and they will probably be quite self absorbed at other non-wedding points of their life too

What? I have never been to a wedding with a dress code.

I think it depends how it is communicated and what the reasons are. I would have no issue someone saying to me "please wear a darker, wintery colour".

But what if someone did have an issue with a "darker, wintery colour", or had a perfectly appropriate wedding guest outfit in orange/lime green and because - for the photos - the bride decides she wants everyone the same, that guest is now faced with shopping for something new and spending more cash?

I just think it's really unreasonable to dictate like this, however politely you communicate it.