to think brides need to issue rules about what people are allowed to wear?

[SnoozingFox]

No white
Nothing with even a HINT of white/cream
No pale colours which in a certain light might look white
No lace
No red
No black

etc etc etc. Is this the new normal as it certainly wasn't when I got married, none of the weddings I have been to were we ever asked to run outfits past the bride before the event.

Madness.

No red? No black?

What the hell is wrong with those? You sound so unreasonable.

I wore this red rose and black trouser suit at DSS's wedding. They were just relieved I got togged up. I thought I looked quite fetching.

The best man was off his tits on cocaine anyway so I was the least of anybody's worries.

dresscodechiconline.com/products/red-roses-floral-print-blazer-and-pants-suit-red-black

Agree. Unless the bride would like to pay for each guests outfit, they need to get over themselves.

I love that! I bet you looked amazing

I’ve only ever seen any of these rules mentioned on Mumsnet - on wedding threads and on the style and beauty board. In the real world I’ve never heard anyone say you can’t wear red, lace or black and I’ve never attended a wedding that had a dress code

Apparently black is for funerals or because you disapprove of the marriage. Red is unsuitable as it's associated with the groom's bit on the side. (Accept this started as internet nonsense but has apparently passed into common practice).

Personally I would have no issue with people wearing black or red but some brides clearly do, and if they do have those issues, it's only fair to pre-warn their guests so they can either shop accordingly, or decide not to attend.

The only thing you shouldn't wear to a wedding as a guest is a wedding dress! 😂 Everything else is nonsense.

I think when you've started demanding to control what guests wear, you've lost the plot. Just be grateful you have guests turning up.

Someone wore an ivory dress to my wedding. I was a bit surprised at the time but I feel that I upstaged her so it’s ok

Being brutally honest, I think this whole attitude of 'everyone's attention must be on me and only me for every second of the day' is absolutely pathetic. Unless a guest turns up in an actual wedding dress, they've done nothing wrong. People need to focus on their marriages, not their weddings!

The only wedding I have ever been to with a dress code was a friend whose wedding was "black tie" which was a pain in the neck for men who didn't have bow ties and dinner jackets. Women were expected to be in floor length gowns but many misinterpreted the dress code or didn't want to buy a gown, so there was a real mix of outfits.

It felt very odd to be sitting in a church in the north of England on a wet Saturday in January surrounded by men in dinner jackets.

It's really not accepted into common practice. I've been to loads of weddings and have worn red and black (along with other colours) on different occasions and seen loads of other guests in red and black too- noone batted an eyelid and everyone looked absolutely lovely and had a great time.

These rules may exist on MN but generally speaking, people in real life are much more laid back

It has been a long-established etiquette rule for a VERY long time that you don't wear white to a wedding unless you are the bride. Similarly frowned on is wearing black, inappropriate for its funereal connotations.

Hopefully nothing...I wore a red flowery dress to my son's wedding last year and everyone survived the day!

But people posting on MN are real people, presumably if they post that they don't think black/red/spots/whatever is suitable, that is their opinion that they have in real life.

I suppose though they might not actually voice this opinion to their own wedding guests.

The only time I’ve ever raised an eyebrow at someone else’s wedding outfit was one where the MOB turned up in a white dress…

A long white dress….

…worm with a veil.

Similarly frowned on is wearing black, inappropriate for its funereal connotations

Frowned upon by whom? do you get a fine from the vicar or does everyone just give you evil looks during the service?

There has been at least one person in black at pretty much every wedding ive been to and there was no fuss or gossip or punishment for it. Plus, does this only apply to women? because men wearing black jackets and black trousers are VERY common at both weddings and funerals but noone seems to be clutching their pearls over that, so I presume its a misogynistic thing

“faints”

You allowed them both to attend? You didn’t say my wedding, my rules.

It’s almost like you’re trying to say you were a chilled relaxed bride!

My MOB outfit for my youngest daughter's wedding was black. She said to wear what I liked and what I was comfortable in, as long as I didn't turn up in jeans.

I mentioned this on the tread we are obviously not TA. My wedding had a black and white colour scheme/dress code so everyone was matching in all black and white (unacceptable colours I know lol). I think this is better than trying to micromanage what everyone is wearing, instead of giving a list of don’ts a simple colour scheme like ‘autumn colours’ is preferable.

All cultures have different wedding traditions.
Why is it your culture is right and everyone else’s is nonsense?

I married the previous Mr Finished in the early 1980's and no guest would have ever worn either white or black to a wedding in those days. It was in all the books and wedding planning magazines at the time, and would have been an appalling social faux-pas. And this was in Stevenage register office, not Westminster Abbey.

Love that! Bet you looked fantastic!
Honestly, I didn’t give two hoots what anyone wore to my wedding. My mother wore a beautiful cream suit, trimmed with black. She looked amazing. Trying to dictate what guests wear is, in my opinion, bat shit.

Twenty years ago when I was getting married I was pulled to the side afterwards by two women who said so many people were disgusted by a woman wearing a dress from the wedding section of debhanhams. They asked should they talk to her for me, I said ‘I didn’t even notice it was a wedding dress, and I think she looks great! who cares?!’

Some people just like drama (and I’d guess control)

I am assuming this was communicated on the invitations? I still think it's ridiculously controlling to try to police what people wear to this extent, but at least you were up front about it.

It's the weddings where nothing is stated and the guest is told that an outfit is unsuitable for some ridiculous reason. If you are going to try to control what your guests wear, it is only fair to let them know that way in advance and not expect them just to know what is appropriate - as has been seen on this thread some people think black/red is a great choice, others would be horrified.