to think brides need to issue rules about what people are allowed to wear?

[SnoozingFox]

No white
Nothing with even a HINT of white/cream
No pale colours which in a certain light might look white
No lace
No red
No black

etc etc etc. Is this the new normal as it certainly wasn't when I got married, none of the weddings I have been to were we ever asked to run outfits past the bride before the event.

Madness.

this absolutely

your DD shouldn’t believe everything she sees on TikTok

Nothing. They said nothing as it’s not a real thing.

it was a story that went viral from Reddit and it got made into a thing. It’s not a thing

MIL wore a plain cream suit and hat to our wedding. And my teen cousin wore a white jumpsuit. I never gave it any thought - neither looked remotely like my dress!

I agree. If a bride is going to demand her outfit approval is required to attend her big day as the Queen of Brideland, she should issue guidelines before anyone cough for clothing...and wedding presents/cash donations.

I can understand the nothing which can be mistaken for her wedding dress thing but why would you want your wedding album full of unhappy guests wearing outfits they don't feel good in because they don't like the colour for themselves. When people don't feel good, or comfortable, they don't look good. Happiness is the most beautiful aspect of a special occasion outfit.

it was a story that went viral from Reddit and it got made into a thing. It’s not a thing

but the problem is that now it has gone viral and been widely shared, it is a thing. Plainly nonsense, as much as the blood/bandages thing is nonsense, but for people who have seen it on Tiktok and believed it, it is a "thing".

I went to a wedding where one female guest did exactly that. She'd been very vocal about how upset she was at not being a bridesmaid as well. It wasn't a good look and lots of people commented how petty and childish she was!

Mind you, i went to one wedding when I was heavily pregnant and didn't want to spend a load of money on a maternity wedding outfit that I couldn't wear again. Ended up with a lovely blue skirt that could be dressed up or down. Bride pulled me to one side and said I was out of order for wearing blue as that's what she wore. How was I meant to know she wasn't going to wear white/cream ffs.

I think at a certain point it just gets pathetic.

I saw a post on Instagram once of a bride shaming one of her guests for turning up in a floral summer dress (blatantly not a wedding dress and looked very nice but not remotely upstaging the bride or trying to look bridal). My immediate thought was, "You just got married to supposedly the love of your life, and this, this is what you're choosing to focus on?"

Like if your wedding was shit, just say that because if a dress that your guest turned up in (that again was nice, not remotely upstaging, not bridal or revealing) is getting you so riled up, your wedding must have been dull as dishwater.

In the end, I thought the only rules were that you dressed smart and didn't wear a wedding dress or anything in white/cream/ivory (or whatever colour the bride is wearing).

I've worn a black cocktail dress to a wedding before. It had lace on, too, but it was in no way a dress that would have been suitable for a funeral, and given the fact that men freely wear black suits to weddings, the alleged faux pas because of the "funeral connotations" doesn't wash. If it's an unsuitable colour for women, then it's unsuitable for men, too.

Unless you're part of the family/bridal party-you're probably not going to even feature in that many of the pictures anyway. So, why does it matter if Patricia turned up in a pastel pink dress?

I do think some people need reminding about what the day is supposed to be about.

no it is not a "thing" If every stupidity that went viral on some kind of SM was a thing we'd be doing all kinds of craziness.
edit: I should of course have said all kinds of craziness more than we are already doing.

I disagree. No guest wants to look like a bride, but a white or cream jacket is fine, as is a pale cocktail dress.

I didn’t really care for my wedding, you probably could showed up in a wedding dress and I wouldn’t have noticed. However I know I’m in the minority with that. If I could do it again we would elope.

Every wedding I’ve been to has a dress code, and if I’m unsure I’ll just check with the bride because I understand for a lot of women it’s their special day. I would never want to ruin someone’s big day that they may well have dreamed about from a young age. Frankly, if I care about the bride (and I don’t go to weddings of acquaintances, I only go if I actually care for the couple) I would go in a burlap sack if she wants.

I wouldn't go to a wedding where I had to run my outfit past the bride, it's insulting and rude.

Green used to be worn by brides as a symbol of fertility. No idea why it's considered unlucky now. 🤷🏻‍♀️

When my ds got married his cousin wore a dress that almost matched the bridesmaids dresses.
It was a total fluke and she was a bit embarrassed.
We told her how lovely she looked, she did.
Nobody minded at all.

White makes sense - but red and black and lace is just either very old fashioned or silly superstition.

its 2025 OP - wise up.

I don't know how your voting works and I think I voted wrongly.

I think the guest having to have their outfit approved was mad! I'd have just declined the invite as soon as that was said. Then for them to not approve it, just because it wasn't to their taste.

I do worry though because years ago I wore a white tea dress with big pink and red flowers over it and a pink ribbon belt. There was no chance it could ever have been mistaken for a wedding dress and it had lots of colour but I wouldn't wear it nowadays. I hope the bride didn't think it was inappropriate.

I couldn't tell you what my guests wore. They could all have turned up in long white guests and I wouldn't have cared because everyone knew I was the bride. 🤣

It was really hot and a few people asked my husband if he minded if they changed out of their suits into shorts. So some of our photos are quite funny with half the men in 3peice suits and half in shorts.🤣 my only requirement was that they weren't topless.

We asked everyone to wear blue - most of the photos looked amazing - apart from those who didn’t understand the words ‘no pattern’ and the person who wore orange and blue. Ah well.

I live in black. I feel comfortable in black. So I wear black to weddings. It has never been an issue... or if it has, I didn't know about it.
One time, me and DP of the time were invited to a wedding, and he was told to change his hair colour (it was blue).

My mum also turned up to a wedding where the bride was wearing a "pretty dress", not anything vaguely wedding-y. Unfortunately my mum was also wearing the same pretty dress.

Common sense prevailed and my mum kept her coat on in the church, stood at the back of the photos so you couldnt see her dress and changed into something else as soon as she could.

Apparently people didn't even realise.

I wore a cream maxi dress with a maroon pattern to a wedding a few years ago. Hope I didn’t offend?!

also had no idea lace was a no

I wore a black and white dress to my then brother in law's wedding in the 80s. I've never been told what to wear to a wedding or been advised of a colour scheme. If that happened I wouldn't go.

Some of my male guests didn't even wear trousers....and some may even foregone the underpants...!
Because they wore kilts...in their own tartans.

At my wedding, my aunt wore white and my friend wore black. I felt mildly offended that they felt I risked being such a lunatic that they had to ask me if it was ok. I also had optional small children who could walk down the aisle or not, they chose on the day. I think normal people are still normal when they marry, and some people hide their craziness on other days.

I have worn a cream skirt suit with lace sleeves to a wedding before don't see the problem.

I went to a friend’s daughter’s wedding recently. Found a perfect emerald green dress but I knew the bridesmaid dresses were green so asked my friend if too similar. She said slightly different but it didn’t matter anyway, Let’s face it as a woman of a certain age I am not going to upstage some gorgeous 20 something year olds. I actually chose a different colour of the same dress only for the mother of the chief bridesmaid to turn up in my original choice. No one cared because they are all normal well adjusted people. The other mother and I were just pleased when we were sitting next to each other at the reception not to be wearing identical dresses.
I actually can’t remember what anyone wore to my wedding.