Page 11 | Would this upset you? Mother of Groom

Peaceandquietandacuppa · 12/05/2025 16:18

SummerIce · 12/05/2025 14:14

Ah yes, I actually remember it now:

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5289162-should-both-sets-of-parents-be-treated-the-same-on-mothers-day

It sounds like you’re quite jealous that your DIL has a good relationship with her mum and you’re upset you don’t have the same. I get that’s quite hard to see but it’s on your son to facilitate the relationship, not her.

Oh I remember that one! Coupled with the fact that the MIL has been issued “rules” (I suspect these were very necessary)

I would be interested to hear the DIL and son perspective…

YearlySubscriptionRenewal · 12/05/2025 16:33

I remember that thread now!

*Weddingspeechsad *
you need to back off big time. You will lose your son.

You are not your DIL's mother, and you will never be her mother, or as close as a mother to her. You met her as an adult, you haven't got all the backstory and history. Jealousy is hurting only you.
You are however the only mother your son will ever have. Nothing can change this. It doens't mean he can't be friendly with his own MIL.

Let them be! Be helpful when they ASK (or offer ONCE but without pressure), invite them around every month, once a month is already a lot.

Build your own life, let your child have his own.

daisyb2 · 12/05/2025 16:34

You absolutely need to learn boundaries. This is madness honestly. You are clearly soooo jealous of the relationship your daughter has with her mum it’s genuinely weird.

daisyb2 · 12/05/2025 16:36

daisyb2 · 12/05/2025 16:34

You absolutely need to learn boundaries. This is madness honestly. You are clearly soooo jealous of the relationship your daughter has with her mum it’s genuinely weird.

This was supposed to be daughter in law. Won’t let me edit

OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon · 12/05/2025 17:17

Oh well, at least we can have this thread as an update as the son is now married - the first thread the wedding was still to happen.

@Weddingspeechsad how did you get to the wedding ?

Original poster

Weddingspeechsad · 12/05/2025 17:20

OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon · 12/05/2025 17:17

Oh well, at least we can have this thread as an update as the son is now married - the first thread the wedding was still to happen.

@Weddingspeechsad how did you get to the wedding ?

One of my sons picked me up on the way. Son and DIL stayed over the night before.

OP posts:

LittleMonks11 · 12/05/2025 17:29

Your poor DIL

LittleMonks11 · 12/05/2025 17:35

I’m shocked you just casually said ‘after his brother died’. Do you mean to say one of your sons died?

There’s a lot going on here reading your posts.

Searchingforthelight · 12/05/2025 17:46

Oh I remember that thread

OP why don't you get a carer

Why are so demanding of your son

I think little of any parent who puts their child into a carer role

Also no one should demand 'be mindful' to get an equally valuable Mother's Day gift FFS

I've never heard such self absorbed garbage!

Mamamiaaaaa · 12/05/2025 17:57

Oh my god I feel sorry for your daughter in law, you sound like a handful

JJMama · 12/05/2025 18:18

You had a thank you from each and the bride chose to talk about her mother. You’re not her mother. Your son could’ve done the same for you.

I’ve got 2 sons and couldn’t get worked up about this. YABU unless there’s a drip feed.

TwinklySquid · 12/05/2025 18:20

You aren’t seriously comparing inviting her for meals vs a lifetime with her own mum?

restingbitchface30 · 12/05/2025 19:04

Honestly I would think that was really sweet and I’d feel happy my son has married someone who seems to have a great relationship with her mum. I wouldn’t expect her to be gushy over me in the slightest!

Beautifulweeds · 12/05/2025 19:04

This is her opportunity to show publicly how much she loves and values her Mum, which your son could do the same.

I'm sure it wasn't meant to compare you as a MIL, just a daughter showing gratitude. Xx

cardboardvillage · 12/05/2025 19:08

Get over yourself

Missj25 · 12/05/2025 19:47

Weddingspeechsad · 11/05/2025 14:12

Would you be upset if your son got married and made a speech and thanked both families. Thanks Mum and Dad for everything and brides family for welcoming him into it.

Bride then stands up and does a speech. Thanks both families and grooms parents for welcoming her into their family and being kind. Then does a whole section on her Mum and how much she loves her, how there’s not usually any special moment for mother of the bride in the wedding so special mention for all of the help she’s given.

would you feel upset and singled out as mother of groom? For context I’ve really tried with her, invite them over for lunch and takeaway but always too busy. She is always pleasant enough but quite prickly. Myself and his dad both gave approx £1k each (divorced) towards wedding. Feeling quite hurt but not sure if AIBU.

Hey OP 😊..
Don’t be sad .. She just made a deal cause it’s her mom , that’s all 🤷🏻‍♀️..
X

caringcarer · 12/05/2025 20:33

I've got sons and all I would care about if was their choice off partner made them happy. I would love any woman that made them happy, and if I saw any flaws I'd not mention them and keep my mouth firmly shut and smiling. In this case I think it's lovely that your new Dil is so appreciative of her Mum. Her Mum probably helped her plan the wedding. Learn to be appreciative of your new Dil. In time you may share DGC with her parents and it's normal for her to turn to her own Mum before a mil. If any of my DS's were going to give me a DGC I'd ask Dil what gift the baby would like and I'd give her price range, so she could choose. I've also got a DD and I know she would turn to me before her mil even though she gets on fine with her mil. You need to get used to this idea for the future as it will save you much upset if DGC comes along.

GiveDogBone · 12/05/2025 20:46

The main problem is the bride giving a speech at her own wedding. Not whether she did or did not mention you to your satisfaction.

ImaginedCorners · 12/05/2025 21:03

GiveDogBone · 12/05/2025 20:46

The main problem is the bride giving a speech at her own wedding. Not whether she did or did not mention you to your satisfaction.

?

SummerIce · 12/05/2025 21:03

GiveDogBone · 12/05/2025 20:46

The main problem is the bride giving a speech at her own wedding. Not whether she did or did not mention you to your satisfaction.

Why is that a problem?

Dearg · 12/05/2025 21:12

GiveDogBone · 12/05/2025 20:46

The main problem is the bride giving a speech at her own wedding. Not whether she did or did not mention you to your satisfaction.

Seriously?

GiveDogBone · 12/05/2025 21:14

Because, wedding speeches are given by the father of the bride, the groom and the best man. And that is it. It’s called tradition, and people need to eat.

Have been to dozens of weddings and don’t ever recall going to a wedding where the bride gave a speech (at the reception at least, do recall the very rare one at the breakfast the next day or evening meal before).

Dearg · 12/05/2025 21:18

GiveDogBone · 12/05/2025 21:14

Because, wedding speeches are given by the father of the bride, the groom and the best man. And that is it. It’s called tradition, and people need to eat.

Have been to dozens of weddings and don’t ever recall going to a wedding where the bride gave a speech (at the reception at least, do recall the very rare one at the breakfast the next day or evening meal before).

Edited

You need to get out more. And if you read the thread, you will realise there is no Father of the Bride present. So what, delegate to the nearest available male?

youcannaecallherfanny · 12/05/2025 21:22

GiveDogBone · 12/05/2025 21:14

Because, wedding speeches are given by the father of the bride, the groom and the best man. And that is it. It’s called tradition, and people need to eat.

Have been to dozens of weddings and don’t ever recall going to a wedding where the bride gave a speech (at the reception at least, do recall the very rare one at the breakfast the next day or evening meal before).

Edited

Absolutely, women should be seen and not heard.

😂😂😂
you sound mad.

C8H10N4O2 · 12/05/2025 21:26

GiveDogBone · 12/05/2025 21:14

Because, wedding speeches are given by the father of the bride, the groom and the best man. And that is it. It’s called tradition, and people need to eat.

Have been to dozens of weddings and don’t ever recall going to a wedding where the bride gave a speech (at the reception at least, do recall the very rare one at the breakfast the next day or evening meal before).

Edited

Have you been to a wedding since about 1955?