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AIBU?

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Original poster

DD’s friend sent video of her grandma having a shower

204 replies

Smellthatbbqsmell · 11/05/2025 13:17

Really doubting myself if i’m being over the top about this.

Dd is 7 and has a friend who comes to stay with her grandparents (young -60’s maybe) who are our neighbours.
Dd often plays with her, Dd has used my phone (with my permission) sometimes to call/message her to see if she wants to play.
Her friend is at the grandparents this weekend and Dd played with her briefly yesterday.

This morning I woke up, checked my messages as always and had Whatsapps from the grandma. It was from this girl sending messages to Dd. This girl had taken a video of the grandma having a wash in the shower (very unflattering, of her bum, washing everywhere etc) you hear the girl laughing and telling her she’s filming her, the grandma asks mid bent over if she’s filming. DD’s friend then sends a voice note laughing saying it’s funny and laughing emojis etc.

I obviously didn’t show Dd, but was pretty shocked and not sure what to do, worried in case she sent the video to others etc and thinking of how embarrassing this must be for the poor grandma.
I decided to text the mum to give her a heads up, these are the replies

Aibu to be a bit baffled that she’s not more upset/angry? Her Dc is almost 6, so still
young, but a bit naughty in lots of other ways

Later the grandma sent a message to me saying thank you for letting them know and to have a nice Sunday, it’s just the mums responses? I’m a v easygoing parent in general, but wouldn’t be happy about this if Dd had done it to my mum or me for example.

I am in another country and know they won’t be on here

DD’s friend sent video of her grandma having a shower
DD’s friend sent video of her grandma having a shower
OP posts:
Original poster
Smellthatbbqsmell · 13/05/2025 15:28

Helen483 · 13/05/2025 14:34

This.
I find it exceedingly odd that the grandma was using the bathroom in such a way that a 5-6 year old could watch it!
Personally I think the whole family is weird and if I were you I wouldn't let your DD spend any more time with this child.

Show quote history

Yes, Dh thinks the same

OP posts:
FlyMeSomewhere · 13/05/2025 15:54

Calliopespa · 13/05/2025 09:02

They may well need stamping out. But it isn’t really op’s job is it.

I see badly behaved children all the time. I disagree with how some children in my DC’s classes are brought up. But I don’t make it my job to tell them so unless and until it directly affects me or my child.

In this case the op chose to post about the response fro the mum being inappropriate. That was the issue tabled.

When that didn’t get the answer she wanted she leaked out that the child was rude generally, a “ bugger”, tried to drive cars, sent awful vms. It’s that aspect that made me feel there is a deeper agenda here than perception-checking if she’s done the wrong thing to send the message to the mum.

I think the message and the reply were fine.

Show quote history

I don't think the OP goes around getting grudges against kids. It's exasperation that the mother downplayed it because a lot of the UK population are exasperated with how many unruly kids there are now! Where I live, anti social behaviour from kids during school holidays has become rife! Damaging play equipment for little kids in play parks and leaving smashed glass everywhere, trespassing on people's properties to damage garden stuff and flowers, making vulnerable people scared at night, eggs being thrown at windows, knocking on people's doors late at night for bizarre reasons!
At Christmas last year, the favourite hobby was ripping people's inflatable Christmas characters out of people's gardens and either stealing them or leaving them damaged and kids in tears! That's why people get exasperated when people say it's kids being kids which is what happened to the OP

ImGoneUnderground · 18/05/2025 21:57

paranoiaofpufflings · 11/05/2025 13:47

The girl knew exactly that the reason she was filming was to cause embarrassment, and she didn’t send it by accident. I would come down like a ton of bricks if it was my child! Bad enough to film someone without their consent to laugh at them, but someone who is undressed is so much worse.
Not sure what you can do other than tell the parents/grandparents as you have done.

I would put an end to the kids using the phone between them.

This....

ImGoneUnderground · 18/05/2025 21:58

Or where will it stop.....

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