To ask if I’m eating enough? **PLEASE READ OP'S RECENT POSTS BEFORE RESPONDING** Title edited by MNHQ

[mummytoonetryingfortwo]

I posted in the week about my husband being against me continuing to exercise, as I am pregnant with twins. We moved past that (I thought) after agreeing that I would stop running, start swimming and doing pregnancy specific workouts such as yoga and Pilates. We clashed on this because I had a bleed, just before I found out I was pregnant, and because it took us a long time to conceive.

My first pregnancy, I was young and at university, I was very unhealthy in my diet and gained a lot of weight, which I started to lose when my daughter was about 6 months old. Since then, I’ve been very responsible with my diet and activity. I’ve always focussed on fuelling myself properly and keeping active.

My husband is now concerned that I am not eating enough. My normal day of eating will look something like this:

Breakfast - full fat Greek yoghurt, berries, nuts, a small amount of honey, and chia seeds OR wholemeal sourdough toast (from a bakery, not the supermarket), avocado, scrambled eggs (made with real butter) and tomatoes on the side.

Lunch - some combination of a lean protein, vegetables and a carb. Rice, salmon and a salad with a soy sauce dressing has been something I’ve been craving lately.

Dinner - again, a protein, vegetables and a carb. We tend to cycle through steaks, chicken, lots of charred greens, rice or pasta.

Snacks - I have made a concerted effort to add more snacks because of the fact I’m pregnant. I’ll have veggies with hummus, celery sticks or apple with peanut butter, sometimes some chocolate or just fruit, but not that often.

I’ve counted calories for the last three days to show him I’m eating, and I’m hitting about 1800 to 2000 calories a day. He thinks this isn’t enough, and that I’ll be losing weight. Is this enough?

Sorry you've not had a good experience with the GP - although perhaps the GP was closer to what you need than you are which was maybe hard to hear. It's not impossible to achieve that calorie goal and avoid upf. Fats and oils are very calorie dense and incredibly good for you while you're pregnant with multiples, and can easily be added into many meals. Other foods such as calorie rich dairy (butter, cream etc) are also very good for adding calories without volume.

how are you feeling about the prospect of increasing your calories? Well done for starting the conversation, that's a good step

The GP wants to, in his own words, “put some meat on my bones”. A very objectifying comment. He’s refused to refer me because he doesn’t believe I have a true eating disorder.

Olive oil, butter, nuts etc. So instead of steaming veg, roast it with oil or add butter to it, creamy sauces, homemade carbonara, add cheese to your eggs, stir some cream into Greek yoghurt… there’s lots you can do. Go for chicken thighs over chicken breast etc etc

I am so sorry OP GPs can be useless at this - I think getting private help and support in your instance given you can afford it is the way forward. I hope you find it someone who knows disordered thinking around food isn’t just restrictive eating

That seems really insensitive( and inaccurate) advice given by your GP
could you confide in your midwife
Lots of women have body confidence issues in pregnancy so she has heard it before
if I were you, I’d focus on regular small amounts which are easier to digest anyway.
Raw nuts are very good( brazils and almonds)
Greek yogurt, fruit and cereals. Full fat everything if you can.
GP can prescribe drinks such as Fortisip.. The forti juice ones are acceptable.
breadsticks and hummus or other dips.
Avocado on Toast
just a few ideas. You don’t have to eat junk to increase calories

Some GPs can be very dismissive and treat women as though they’re just ‘being silly’. You need somebody who understands. Ask for a second opinion, speak to your midwife, and/or contact BEAT:

https://www.beateatingdisorders.org.uk/get-information-and-support/

If you don’t feel able to, maybe your DH could phone.

There’s also this website, which seems quite new but has a few things, including leaflets and links:

https://www.eatingdisordersandpregnancy.co.uk/nutrition-leaflets-for-women/

.

I'm sorry, that GP sounds awful! I was hospitalised as a teenager and don't really remember the ins and outs if who I saw, how referrals were made etc - but I found BEAT to be extremely helpful as an adult when I needed support. https://www.beateatingdisorders.org.uk/

Snap 😂

I feel incredibly dejected. This was my one shot at reaching out

4000 calories! That seems really high, I would aim for 3000-3500. Easily done with more carbs, cream, cheese, nuts etc.

That’s really rubbish from your GP. But, what you do have is 12 pages of (on the whole!) intelligent, well-informed, compassionate posts from people here. Many of who have been pregnant, some of who will have had weight issues, and some of who have had eating disorders and do - though you may struggle to believe it - truly get how you feel.

I think if you read through the thread calmly and focus on the advice that feels manageable and sensible to you, you can progress in the right direction. So while you are not going to be comfortable adding 1000 calories of cake and chocolate to your daily diet, think seriously about adding 500 calories by adding some nuts and increasing your portion size of whatever you currently enjoy eating the most.

And yes, for anyone with weight or body issues pregnancy is a tough and confusing time. You don’t suddenly magic away your issues with food simply because you’re pregnant, so try and combine making positive progress while also being gentle on yourself.

No it isn’t please look at Beat

are you near London? Do a google

DH has contacted multiple dieticians, therapists and a day treatment facility. He’s told my work I’ll be going off sick and in the meantime we’ve compromised on 3500 calories a day.

I feel sick to my stomach but I know it’s right for our babies.

You're eating plenty.

Hmmm he’s being very heavy handed with this isn’t he?

Well done OP, you’re doing the right thing by listening to your GP 😘 You’re not going to enjoy it, but you’re going to do it anyway. That is the definition of being a selfless and loving mother. Bravo x

Not read the whole thread have you

No he is trying to help.

I know I have been harsh on you OP but I really wouldn’t just increase your calories up by that amount without professional advice - and certainly not based on the GP advice.

The fact you have admitted there is a issue and are seeking help is amazing but please don’t just up calories without proper support

I wish I had your willpower.... you're fine x good luck for an amazing pregnancy x

Maybe add some herbs, tumeric etc. The quantity seems fine but not very varied or exciting.

Good luck on your pregnancy all the best!

Are you ok??

@Snickersnack1

she doesn’t need 4000 cals a day though!

@Iloveeverycat

he is clueless though. If you don’t know what you’re talking about, don’t give out advice - which is especially salient if you’re a GP

Don’t let a silly comment from a GP put you off. My friend had an ED at uni, and the person she saw first gave every impression of being exasperated with her and was very impatient. However, she then found a new person (psychologist) who was patient and understanding. She beat her ED, partly with his help, partly with the help of a new boyfriend (now her DH) and through her own strength.

I know it must seem like your DH is hassling you a bit, but it’s scary watching someone go through an ED and you feel desperate to help.