To ask if I’m eating enough? **PLEASE READ OP'S RECENT POSTS BEFORE RESPONDING** Title edited by MNHQ

[mummytoonetryingfortwo]

I posted in the week about my husband being against me continuing to exercise, as I am pregnant with twins. We moved past that (I thought) after agreeing that I would stop running, start swimming and doing pregnancy specific workouts such as yoga and Pilates. We clashed on this because I had a bleed, just before I found out I was pregnant, and because it took us a long time to conceive.

My first pregnancy, I was young and at university, I was very unhealthy in my diet and gained a lot of weight, which I started to lose when my daughter was about 6 months old. Since then, I’ve been very responsible with my diet and activity. I’ve always focussed on fuelling myself properly and keeping active.

My husband is now concerned that I am not eating enough. My normal day of eating will look something like this:

Breakfast - full fat Greek yoghurt, berries, nuts, a small amount of honey, and chia seeds OR wholemeal sourdough toast (from a bakery, not the supermarket), avocado, scrambled eggs (made with real butter) and tomatoes on the side.

Lunch - some combination of a lean protein, vegetables and a carb. Rice, salmon and a salad with a soy sauce dressing has been something I’ve been craving lately.

Dinner - again, a protein, vegetables and a carb. We tend to cycle through steaks, chicken, lots of charred greens, rice or pasta.

Snacks - I have made a concerted effort to add more snacks because of the fact I’m pregnant. I’ll have veggies with hummus, celery sticks or apple with peanut butter, sometimes some chocolate or just fruit, but not that often.

I’ve counted calories for the last three days to show him I’m eating, and I’m hitting about 1800 to 2000 calories a day. He thinks this isn’t enough, and that I’ll be losing weight. Is this enough?

Sounds amazing to me. Sounds like lots of healthy balanced meals. I struggled to even keep down plain crackers for months in all of my pregnancies, and had big healthy babies. Only thing is that you said hummus, which you aren't meant to have as it's apparently very high risk for bacteria. I thought homemade was okay, but my dietician said it wasn't.

Read the thread!

Nobody is being vile. You're in denial and being asked to look at your behaviour is confronting and making you feel defensive and angry.

Saying you were fat as a size 10 is either you trolling or an eating disorder. I hope it's the former, otherwise your poor daughter and unborn babies are facing a life of trauma around food/weight.

I’m being told I’m a bad mother and that I’m going to give my daughter an eating disorder, that I’m lying about my twins and that I’m going to kill them, essentially.

if you are teaching your daughter that being a size 10 and above is digusting then yes that could very well give her the disordered eating and body issues you so clearly had

I think you came here wanting validation because I do think you are so caught up in your thinking that you think you are right and anyone who tries to question your thinking is vile and disgusting

but you do need to seek help with this

This is all true, this is what's happening (based on everything you've said here).

As someone with a history of EDs myself, I don't believe you're doing it because you're an evil person, but you really need to get some help and I hope your DH can get that for you.

Calling me a bad mum is a horrible, horrible thing to say.

Being held hostage to disordered thinking that makes you think that going over 9 stone is digusting and your worst nightmare is being fat and passing that notion onto your daughter about food being wrong and awful to eat could be damaging to her just like it is damaging to you. Because growing up in that kind of environment is tough and hard and I won’t apologise for saying that

that doesn’t make you a bad mum it makes you in need of help and support

I hope you get the help you need.

People have raised concerns that you may have disordered eating, that there is a risk you may pass your obsessions to your daughter, and that by attempting to control your eating, the way you are during pregnancy, there may also be risks here. They aren’t doing this to be mean or to tell you that you are a horrible person, but out of concern, and that is why people are recommending that you speak to a health professional.

I don’t think this thread will help you, I’m afraid. You are kindly fixated on bmi and weight gain
BMI does NOT apply in pregnancy
As I said your babies will take your nutrients from you. Hence free maternal dental care.
i hope you do tell the relevant professionals if any issues develop
Have you been taking the recommended dosage of folic acid?
This is paramount as it prevents neural tube defects like Spina Bifida( 30 years ago my friends first DS died at a few days old.due to this)

Exactly this ^^ Stop the defensive anger, OP, and just have a quiet read of what people have said. Look at the links and comments about calorie needs for a twin pregnancy. Speak to your DH for support. You don’t have to come back and update us or concede anything at all. Mentally step outside yourself and think about what’s being said objectively.

I was 100% on your side, but you've lost me at size 10 looking fat.
Come on. You must know that it isn't, and that I'd you think that your perspective is massively skewed.

I have contacted my GP. My husband wants me to seek inpatient treatment

You should eat what you ate before with one additional snack per day added in, and even that isn't needed until 3rd tirmester in a normal pregnancy. I am a plumpy 47 year old now but was very healthy when I had DD. I gained a stone during pregnancy and most of that was baby, placenta, etc.. I'd lost it all 3 months after I had her with no effot.

Good luck I hope it helps you. It sounds as if it might be a plan and as I thought your husband is also aware

Well done, OP. Even though I'm a stranger on the internet so I'm sure this will mean nothing to you, I know how hard it is to accept you might need some extra support in this area x

Twin pregnancies are different. The advice has already been posted but I’ll post it again. Note the extra calories are per baby and start in the first trimester:

Calories are critical to helping you and your babies gain weight during pregnancy. With twins or triplets, you should increase your daily intake by 300 calories per baby in the first trimester, 340 calories per baby in the second trimester and 452 calories per baby in the third trimester

Hi OP, congratulations on your pregnancy and I hope the appointment with your GP goes well. Fwiw it sounds like you might need some help, that's nothing to be ashamed of.

No shame in seeking help OP. Warm wishes to you and your forthcoming DT’s

Hope your GP can refer you to some good support. It's clear you want to do the best for your babies but you may need some professional help to manage that. Wishing you the very best for a successful pregnancy.

My GP has suggested a 4000 calorie a day diet (!!!!!) which will be impossible to achieve without UPFs. I’m fuming. There was no real support.

Where did that figure come from??
A GP won't offer proper dietary advice. You need a qualified dietician.