To ask if I’m eating enough? **PLEASE READ OP'S RECENT POSTS BEFORE RESPONDING** Title edited by MNHQ

[mummytoonetryingfortwo]

I posted in the week about my husband being against me continuing to exercise, as I am pregnant with twins. We moved past that (I thought) after agreeing that I would stop running, start swimming and doing pregnancy specific workouts such as yoga and Pilates. We clashed on this because I had a bleed, just before I found out I was pregnant, and because it took us a long time to conceive.

My first pregnancy, I was young and at university, I was very unhealthy in my diet and gained a lot of weight, which I started to lose when my daughter was about 6 months old. Since then, I’ve been very responsible with my diet and activity. I’ve always focussed on fuelling myself properly and keeping active.

My husband is now concerned that I am not eating enough. My normal day of eating will look something like this:

Breakfast - full fat Greek yoghurt, berries, nuts, a small amount of honey, and chia seeds OR wholemeal sourdough toast (from a bakery, not the supermarket), avocado, scrambled eggs (made with real butter) and tomatoes on the side.

Lunch - some combination of a lean protein, vegetables and a carb. Rice, salmon and a salad with a soy sauce dressing has been something I’ve been craving lately.

Dinner - again, a protein, vegetables and a carb. We tend to cycle through steaks, chicken, lots of charred greens, rice or pasta.

Snacks - I have made a concerted effort to add more snacks because of the fact I’m pregnant. I’ll have veggies with hummus, celery sticks or apple with peanut butter, sometimes some chocolate or just fruit, but not that often.

I’ve counted calories for the last three days to show him I’m eating, and I’m hitting about 1800 to 2000 calories a day. He thinks this isn’t enough, and that I’ll be losing weight. Is this enough?

Surely the worst thing would be something happening to your babies, not getting fat?
Your diet is fine, just eat a bit more of it so some extra Greek yoghurt, another egg, more oily fish
you can’t be disgusted with yourself for gaining weight during a TWIN pregnancy

That didn’t answer my question? How would you feel is she did one day happen to be a size 12 (given what you have said about a size 10 already)

and exactly how does that work, raising her to be healthy and not overweight?

Imagine going through life thinking people who are a size 12 are unhealthy.

@BreatheAndFocus

what is wrong with her diet exactly do you think?

She's restricting to 1800 calories a day despite her TDEE being 2100 PLUS being pregnant with twins which should add another 300-600 calories a day to her intake. She's not gained a single pound nearly 3 months into a twin pregnancy. She's actively losing weight during pregnancy despite being at BMI 19.

She's calculated her TDEE as a non-pregnant woman to be 2100 calories, she's pregnant with twins which requires an extra 300 calories per day per baby, and she's eating possibly 1800-2000. Oh and she thinks gaining the minimum amount of weight possible in a twin pregnancy is disgusting. Other than that, nothing.

Her diet for just her nothing

her attitude towards food, what is healthy and what isn’t and towards being overweight and those who are and awful lot

I'm pretty certain OP isn't for real, thankfully.

@FortyElephants

“And that's why you have disordered eating. One stone more or less will be babies. Another half stone or more will be placentas. The rest will be amniotic fluid. ”

if this was the case then how come women don’t drop back to their pre-pregnancy weight as soon as the baby is born then? Not trying to be antagonistic btw, just genuinely curious!

Women gain fat as well. Lots do. It's an adaptation to pregnancy...laying down fat stores which are used for breastfeeding. Especially noticeable in the bum and thighs (where women tend to gain weight). Some don't though, I guess, which is why they do truly snap back. We're all different.

Because most women put on a fair bit of fat too...

As I’ve said, not enough calories, probably not enough carbs, limited fruit, an obsessive attitude to food, to normal weight gain….read the thread. It’s worrying.

@pinkballetslippers

“You started dieting when your daughter was 6 months.”

that’s fine. And not unusual.

5 to 7lbs of fat normally, but I imagine a little more with twins (to sustain breastfeeding, act as a reserve, etc, for two babies rather than one). The vast majority of the weight is baby(ies), placenta, amniotic fluid, increased blood volume, etc.

I’ve had a healthy, full-term twin pregnancy and never increased my food intake massively. I did increase my carb intake as I was craving bread.

And you can teach her healthy eating habits (not sure you are) but you cannot teach someone not to be overweight yiu cannot control another humans weight

This thread has gone a bit bizarre.

You don’t need to eat cake, chocolate, sugar, any of that stuff, not every day and not even at all if you don’t want to. Not eating that stuff doesn’t make you a disordered eater. It’s not wrong or weird. We’ve just normalised eating a lot of shit (and I say that as someone who has eaten a lot of shit in her life) and are suspicious of anyone who doesn’t.

But if your focus is shifting onto weight rather than nutrition and nourishment, then that’s an issue. Plucking arbitrary numbers out of the air of what you want to gain/lose loses sight of the nutrition and nourishment thing. Bodies are generally pretty good at self-maintaining if you’re someone who has always been slim and healthy. So I would trust your body more, if what you’re eating is nourishing you and making you satisfied then go with it. But be careful that the fear of gaining more than your allowed amount doesn’t stop you from properly nourishing your body with what it needs. Don’t ignore signals that you aren’t eating enough. You don’t need to count calories or be hyper aware of what you are ingesting, trust your body to ask for what it needs and listen to what it’s telling you. Forget the weight on the scale, it’s really irrelevant at this point. Weight goes on, it can come off and for people who have been slim and healthy for most of their lives, it generally comes off pretty naturally. So don’t let the fear of gaining weight impact on your choices.

hey OP. I'm a mum of twins, you will need to eat a bit more to have a healthy pregnancy that makes it to term / as near as possible.

unfortunately I'm also the mum of someone with anorexia. I've had many similar conversations with my child over the time of their illness and into recovery. Feeling that being overweight is the worst thing that could happen to you isn't typical, it's the kind of thoughts people have when they have an eating disorder. There are obviously many many worse lives to be living than being overweight.

not being able to see how disordered these kinds of thoughts and anxiety are is also a hallmark of an eating disorder. I think perhaps you have hoped your thread would validate your worries about gaining weight and not eating quite enough as you are just arguing with everyone that is trying to help you. These are the kinds of arguments I would have with my child in the past, for example my child was convinced 'everyone' thought they were disgusting and had a '9 month pregnant belly' when they were less than 6 stone. They were skeletal and very unwell, but were completely unable to see it.

the only reason people want you talk to your health professionals is because this kind of thinking and behaviour isn't healthy for you or your babies, and life is so much better when this isn't your priority. Good luck, having twins is amazing and a complete gift, but you need to be as healthy mentally and physically as you can.

It’s really hard Op when - like a lot of people - you have spent so long keeping an eye on your diet, exercising etc, keeping on top of it all. And then bam you get pregnant and are expected to deal with it all being out of all your control and quite rapid weight gain and act like you don’t care at all about it all of a sudden and that you should be grateful and have a serene smile on your face! Give yourself some self compassion and grace @mummytoonetryingfortwo

OP, people are not being horrible but this 👆 does NOT demonstrate a healthy attitude to your size or to food. A size 10 is not fat in any way, shape or form and the fact that you think it is is concerning, pregnant or not.

Not since they banned the pro ana forums.

It’s attention-seeking and fat-shaming. The OP is obviously unwell.

I don’t think there’s any pregnancy either, twins or otherwise. It’s a fairy story. If it’s real she should be sectioned.

I hope this is fabricated nonsense. Otherwise there’s a little girl out there who’s going to be fat shamed by her mother and scolded for wanting occasional treats like ice cream or biscuits.

As for the twins, well, it’s always twins 👯‍♂️ 🤣

Not fine if breastfeeding to calorie restrict the way OP does.