MIL trying on my engagement ring

[Onering]

Strained relationship. Recently got engaged. I took the engagement ring off for a second since I was doing gardening, came back to find MIL wearing my ring saying how pretty it is. She had been going on about how much she liked it before but to put it on without my permission seems invasive.

She wore it and put it to the light to see the diamond sparkle and commented on how nice it looked.

Aibu about being annoyed from this? Maybe my rocky relationship with her is skewering this for me. My ring now feels tainted because someone else has worn it and being someone I don't have a good relationship with... But again that could be me being ott.

Remind yourself that this awful woman birthed and brought up the man you love so she can't be all bad.

I don’t remember anything like ‘permission’ being given — that makes it sound terribly formal and official. People were just handing it around and putting it on and saying ‘Nice stone’ and ‘It makes mine look very old-school!’ and ‘I can’t get it past my knuckle, I have such sausage fingers!’

I would do the cleansing things suggested.

But, I would also tell myself, the ring was stronger. Symbolically, she tried on the ring possibly to undermine your relationship. But the ring won. It didn’t break, the diamond didn’t crack, it was unaffected by her attempt. Your relationship is as strong as ever - she was defeated. It’s still yours. The ring and what it symbolises endures and your relationship is stronger than her.

Also, for things where I can’t wear a ring (like gardening), I like putting it on a necklace chain and wearing it that way.

This is absolute nonsense. Many good people have terrible parents. You can’t say ‘well he’s okay so his mum must be too’

But, I would also tell myself, the ring was stronger. Symbolically, she tried on the ring possibly to undermine your relationship. But the ring won. It didn’t break, the diamond didn’t crack, it was unaffected by her attempt. Your relationship is as strong as ever - she was defeated. It’s still yours. The ring and what it symbolises endures and your relationship is stronger than her.

Good grief, that sounds like a bad fairy tale that Disney would turn into a film.
I really hope this is sarcasm.

Not sarcasm. OP is uncomfortable with thinking about who has worn her ring. This is giving her another way to look at it to try to help her feel better. If it helps her, what does it matter?

Clearly is doesn’t work for you but you’re not the one struggling with this.

Not sarcasm. OP is uncomfortable with thinking about who has worn her ring. This is giving her another way to look at it to try to help her feel better. If it helps her, what does it matter?
Clearly is doesn’t work for you but you’re not the one struggling with this
Maybe in that case op would be better having therapy to help with the way she things. She is going to have a hard life if she believes in negative energy coming from everyday objects because someone she doesnt like has touched them.
That would be more useful than thinking things like ' the ring won' and ' she was defeated' and other such nonsense. The ring didn't win anything, mil didn't go to battle and was conquered.

You're being your own worst enemy here. You say she's been horrible in the past but you went round anyway. Just stop. Either leave DP to have his own relationship with her, or get involved and suck up the consequences.

Yes, all of it.

😂They can.

(His Dad was lovely though, & thankfully DH took after him.)

Put it in a safe container like a big sieve and leave it under running water, just cold from the tap is fine, that's how I was shown to remove the negative vibes from crystals. Then never leave it within her reach again. How very rude of her.

😂😂😂

You wash negative vibes with tap water, that’s not very woohoo is it? No incense?no incantation?
imagine if you can cleanse crystals of bad vibe , apply that to world leaders. We could cleanse world diplomacy by putting all the dictators under cold shower. Splash away those pesky despots

The ring is an inanimate object. Let’s not big up the ring

She hasn’t had a sneaky try on, she waited til you got back in to show you she was trying it on. I’d have told her it wasn’t on, tbh. Me and 3 family members all did a swap and tried on each other’s rings last time I saw them, difference being that I love them all. Someone I didn’t like picking up my ring and trying it on then not immediately relinquishing it would piss me right off.

So burn some sage around it.

I think you may find comfort in some ritualistic act to reclaim your ring, even if it's just symbolic. Have your ring blessed if you're religious or put it outside overnight, in some saltwater in the moonlight. People can laugh, but humans have been performing rituals since the dawn of time and there's no harm in it (as long as you're not sacrificing animals etc.)

yes undertake a superstitious act, chant an incantation
Pray to the gods of inanity Ant & Dec that mediocrity be returned to the ring and your life

Is there any need? @Zone2NorthLondon to be so weirdly smugly dismissive. The OP had said she believes in this. I saw something else you mocked from @Bikergran earlier on too. Makes me wonder why you’re still here if you think it’s all shite?

Are You seriously saying I should only post affirmations about woohoo and cleansing the vibe
Make sure you remonstrate with other posters who’ve posted similar comments
I’ll Post as I wish, and won’t be moderating my responses

You are being a bit mean imo. The older I get the more I realise how your perspective can change.

It was over stepping the mark and I wouldn’t like it either but it’s not the end of the world. Be sure to keep firm boundaries around your children / any future children but also remember one day you might be mil yourself. Balance is key.

Just a bit pointless though isn’t it @Zone2NorthLondon pulling other people’s beliefs down? Not very kind etc. but you crack on if that’s how you fancy spending your Sunday ❤️

think of how many people tried it on in the jewellers - one or all of them could have tainted it
the ring is a piece of metal and a lump of carbon attached - you're being ridiculous.

I've think the Op needs CBT rather than rituals to help her see a different perspective.

Oh I see when you post,criticising my posts that’s you a being neutral observer
I post criticising woohoo stuff and it’s unkind and pointless
Being Kind etc isn’t purposefully ignoring illogical superstitions that are adversely impacting upon op. Being kind isn’t pretending that one can wash vibes.
Op should try to address the illogical beliefs that are affecting her relationships and behaviour . I recommend CBT