Teenage DS masturbation detritus

[Corkstone]

Not sure what topic this should go in, so sorry for the AIBU. I’m looking for advice though.

I am a single mum to three DCs. I have two DDs (17 and 15) and a DS (14). DS’s puberty has been more awkward for me to be helpful with than my DDs’ was for obvious reasons, and his dad has been good, in fairness. But it has become clear recently that he has been masturbating and I don’t know what to do (if anything) about the mess. .

To be clear I have no problem at all with masturbation. If anything I’m pleased for him. But i don’t need or appreciate the tissues not disposed of properly, and I think he is using a towel to ‘clean up’ which I don’t like the thought of but particularly.

I don’t know how to bring this up in a way that isn’t excruciatingly embarrassing for him (and me!). I don’t even know whether to bring it up. But at the same time I want him to know what’s an acceptable way of behaving.

I’ve never discussed masturbation generally with him, and I think I doubled the one occasion with my elder DD when she accidentally found my vibrator a few years back and the shock and embarrassment on all sides meant it was too awful to talk normally!

Another fear is that one of my DDs will go into DC’s room and see the evidence, which would lead to jokes etc which wouldn’t be fair.

Any advice?

😂 😂

I took a deep breath and said ‘dude, clean up after yourself if you have been wanking, and start doing your own washing’ Then I left the room just leaving it hanging in the air so we didn’t have to have a full on conversation if he didn’t want to but it worked.

Just bluntly say stop wankjng into the family towels! They are for use in the bathroom not for putting bodily fluids on! I don’t know why you are avoiding being blunt as wankinf on your mums towels is utterly grim!!!

You have three options. 1. Ignore and live with it in the hope that as he gets older he becomes more tidy. But it could be a long wait. 2. Have a general discussion about cleanliness and that tissues, used for any purpose, should be properly disposed of for good hygiene. 3. Tell him its OK to masturbate but not to leave the results and especially not to use the towels. Consider the last option. It would be positive for him to know that his mum is happy for him to masturbate and help obviate guilt and shame while impressing on an untidy teen the importance of cleanliness and consideration for others in the home.

Just ask him to tidy his room - and make sure everyone has their own towel. I never get the thing of sharing towels. I don’t even want to share DH’s!!

Then there's the towels. White for hands, brown for feet, green for torso, thighs and seat. And in the cupboard beneath the stair...

...you'll find the red for pubic hair.

This. It would be much better from his father.

I don’t quite understand the angst.

You don’t need separate towels just wash them all at 60 degrees with biological powder. That should sterilise them.

And as for the tissues - just say ‘mate, can you not leave tissues all over your floor, pick them up and put them in the bin please.’

Oh good god. Just when you think you’ve read it all on MN ..

I’m open minded but this is about a thousand bridges too far.

I really don’t want to think about a granny setting her grandson up with wank paraphernalia. Grim.

Bit late for a stocking filler (pun not intended) but...

https://thetbird.co.uk/products/personalised-wank-cloth-flannel-wanky-hanky-gift-funny-sex-gift-wank-cloth-gift-for-him-secret-santa-gift

For the record I'm a Grandfather, not a Grandmother.

Oh course you are.

That doesn’t make it any better. Freak.

Yeah, that makes it kind of worse 🤢 You bought him lube ffs

Give him his own towel. We've always had our own in my family. And,surely you get yucky stuff on towels occasionally.

Something tells me that isn't granny talking...

Yeah, I agree, it's almost as if the teenage wanking perv has entered the chat...

I don’t think you should bring it up. It would damage your relationship.

Jeez, when I was that age, I was obsessive about leaving no evidence whatsoever!
I can't imagine why he'd use a towel, tbh!
Practically, tell him to empty his bin, and any tissues he uses. Give him his own towel.

No shit Sherlock...