To never invite them again.

[PatrickDog]

We have just come today from a holiday with my parents, me, DS and his girlfriend.

Just to add DS and his girlfriend asked to come and everyone had their own space, they had their own room and were able to do whatever they wanted and when so not tied to us.

Neither DS nor his girlfriend paid to come bar their spends as my parents wanted to do something nice. Previously to this I have spent limited time with the girlfriend and thought she seemed nice. She stays over a couple of times a week but I just leave them to it.

On holiday DS girlfriend complained about absolutely everything!

We stayed at a resort. On site the entertainment ended at 10.30pm and last orders was 11pm. DS girlfriend complained every single night how she couldn't believe it. We were very near a major nightlife place they could have got a taxi for less than a fiver and stayed out late.

Some of the on site attractions only opened in the afternoon. She complained. Again there was lots just off site.

DS and his girlfriend went to a paid for attraction of their choosing. Girlfriend complained the entire way round that certain small sections weren't open. The main things were. She also moaned that they had been rushed out to the attraction they had chose (at 2pm, it shut at 5!)

On the last full day she had a complete strop about DS wanting to go to the pool for the first time and screamed at DS who then skulked about miserable.

On the flight and journey home DS was out of character really rude to one of my parents who is now (rightly) absolutely livid as they paid for something special for DS girlfriend to moan all week and DS to shout and be rude to them.

Between them they ruined my parents holiday and in turn mine because now I'm getting it in the neck from both sides because DS is angry at being called out for his behaviour and my parents are massively pissed by the behaviour of both.

Neither of them thanked my parents for their free holiday.

I'm pretty upset tbh.

I absolutely bollocked DS in front of my parents and his girlfriend the second he was rude to my parents.
As I said it was out of character for him but I'm still livid.
I've also had words since we got back.
As I've said earlier I spoke to the girlfriend too.
He won't go near my parents currently because he knows how angry they are.

Are you going to speak to them about it? And make them buy a thank you present.

I understand this entirely but it might cause a rift with your son. It’s just not worth it.

Sit them down and say how disappointed you are with their behaviour. Point out that you don’t like treating them children but that’s what they behaved like. Tell them that’s the end of it but they should apologise to the grandparents (meaning it), that you’ll leave that to them.

Then move on, continue calling out bad behaviour and don’t invite them anywhere for free.

They are from the snowflake entitled generation. But that’s not an excuse and they need educating out of it.

I'd hoped so but he's dropped everything to go out with her tonight so don't think I'm that lucky.

Also, please ask your parent to accept any apology gracefully.

it is easier to apologise if you know you won’t be hauled over the coals all over again - no matter how bad your misdemeanour is.

I'd be absolutely fuming if anyone treated my parents like this. It sounds like you did everything you could and she's just a spoilt brat who has him under the thumb. Time he moved out.

Heavens above OP, from your earlier posts I assumed they were teenagers! 😳 Well it's time these two learned there are consequences for their appallingly ungrateful behaviour, ruining yours and your DPs holiday as a result. Does DS and his GF know that she is no longer welcome to stay over with him at your house twice a week?

Gosh .....the girlfriend sounds awful but DS seems as though he might be a wimp (I was going to say whipped but that's quite rude) .....surely he should have realised how vile his girlfriend was being and asked her to stfu.

Obviously DS should send his grandparents a card and a gift to say sorry and thank you

Girlfriend should too, but you have zero leverage with her

I certainly wouldn't allow stroppy girlfriend to stay over any more. Their behaviour was disgraceful and you should make your son apologise to your parents.

Tell them you expect your dps to be reimbursed for their share of the holiday. And mean it.
We once took ds and his mate (both 15) to Portugal.. The mate was an utter shit.. Ds not much better.. Sent them home on a plane after the first week. Took me 3 months to get the flight costs back from his dps.. Never spoke to them again..
Oh and his trip cost them his passport fee and nothing else...
Vowed never take anyone again.

I would be beyond livid at the sheer entitlement to take, take, take whilst moaning about everything. I'd also strongly suggest that he should move out if he felt his behaviour or his girlfriend's was acceptable at any level or no grovelling apology to your parents or you wasn't forthcoming.

Agreed.
It's all good and well people telling you he'd be moving out, she'd be banned etc but realistically you need a calm clear the air chat where you can draw a line under it and move on.

How awful to moan and whinge and spoil it but when you’ve been paid for! I’m not surprised your parents are livid. He needs to go round and grovel

The fact they never even said thank you would be enough reason for me to never invite them or her again

I would be fuming and would make it very clear that she is no longer welcome in your house. In fact I would tell your DS and I would tell her directly if he dares to bring her round that she is no longer welcome so they’ll have to stay somewhere else.

My DS pulled a similar stunt once but not on holiday but during a meal out we took him and his GF to. They sat whispering to each other, constantly on phones, never acknowledged us once even though it was an expensive meal in an expensive restaurant he had chosen.

And when we got back he and the gf disappeared upstairs without even a thank you.

I was fuming, and in the morning made my feelings very clear.

She cried and pulled the “my mental health” card because I’d dared to pull her up on her behaviour, something which no-one ever did because she would be too fragile. But I wasn’t having it, and I told DS in no uncertain terms that if he was going to behave like that and allow his GF to behave like it he wouldn’t go far in life because no-one would want to put up with him.

Fortunately they split up not long after that. I’d like to say he saw the light but unfortunately she was shagging someone else and dumped him.

But he’s now with a lovely girl, and two years on is still embarrassed about their behaviour then.

YANBU and frankly I’d cut down her time round yours. She needs to get a grip.

Once upon a time my family offered my best friend a holiday abroad (just my friend and I staying with family friends) and it ended up being a shit show. She turned out to be rude and entitled and I was beyond mortified because I stayed with the family before, no issues.
Taught us to never offer anyone anything lol.

I feel for your DS here a bit because he was caught between his GF being unhappy about everything and his family who were paying for everything (which was, of course, completely their (ie the GPs’ choice). And that’s a horrible position to be in. And he didn’t handle it well.

They obviously owe the GPs and you an apology. But I’d let the dust settle a bit first. If she’s never been on holiday (!) then clearly her expectations were unrealistic and she’s out of her comfort zone.

I also don’t think your parents should be blaming you for their behaviour.

I wouldn’t have her in my house again.

I also assumed they were teenagers until I saw your other post. Well, lesson learned. No more free holidays for these two.

I can't stand people like this who find fault in everything instead of the positives it just brings everyone else around them down and flattens the mood. Tell your son he needs to apologise to your parents and no don't invite them again until they learn to appreciate things more or he gets a different girlfriend

Yeah, this. They're both awful for their behaviour.

What appalling manners to slag off every aspect of a free holiday with your partner's family.
I get that some things might be annoying or disappointing or not as expected, and to mention it diplomatically wouldn't be a slight against you directly.

But to do it constantly seems really rude. It feels like she didn't want to be there at all. In which case he should be taken her away from the rest of you for most of the trip. Then at least you wouldn't have to hear her complaining.

So definitely don't invite either of them again.

I'm sorry OP but the girlfriend sounds very manipulative and your DS is too kind to stand up to her (that's a compliment to you, really, as you have obviously brought him up this way). There is nothing you can do I suppose unless you want to actively try to break them up. The best you can do is explain to him how manipulation works in a relationship and hope he takes the hint. Oh, and do nothing to support the relationship in any way, and get the GPs on side with all of this. If it were me, the overnight stays would stop, now, too.

And what are you saying to your son when he's whingeing about being called out for his dreadful behaviour? Hopefully you're reiterating that he's behaved like a rude, entitled brat.

Well that's her no longer welcome in your home imo. She has no respect for your family.