To never invite them again.

[PatrickDog]

We have just come today from a holiday with my parents, me, DS and his girlfriend.

Just to add DS and his girlfriend asked to come and everyone had their own space, they had their own room and were able to do whatever they wanted and when so not tied to us.

Neither DS nor his girlfriend paid to come bar their spends as my parents wanted to do something nice. Previously to this I have spent limited time with the girlfriend and thought she seemed nice. She stays over a couple of times a week but I just leave them to it.

On holiday DS girlfriend complained about absolutely everything!

We stayed at a resort. On site the entertainment ended at 10.30pm and last orders was 11pm. DS girlfriend complained every single night how she couldn't believe it. We were very near a major nightlife place they could have got a taxi for less than a fiver and stayed out late.

Some of the on site attractions only opened in the afternoon. She complained. Again there was lots just off site.

DS and his girlfriend went to a paid for attraction of their choosing. Girlfriend complained the entire way round that certain small sections weren't open. The main things were. She also moaned that they had been rushed out to the attraction they had chose (at 2pm, it shut at 5!)

On the last full day she had a complete strop about DS wanting to go to the pool for the first time and screamed at DS who then skulked about miserable.

On the flight and journey home DS was out of character really rude to one of my parents who is now (rightly) absolutely livid as they paid for something special for DS girlfriend to moan all week and DS to shout and be rude to them.

Between them they ruined my parents holiday and in turn mine because now I'm getting it in the neck from both sides because DS is angry at being called out for his behaviour and my parents are massively pissed by the behaviour of both.

Neither of them thanked my parents for their free holiday.

I'm pretty upset tbh.

He is responsible for condoning his girlfriend’s behaviour and being rude to his grandparents in support of said girlfriend.

I don’t get why you need to make excuses for him. He needs to own what he has done, apologize to his grandparents and handle it better next time.

That’s awful. Where are manners these days! Whatever happened to ‘don’t look a gift horse on the mouth’?

Did you actually read what either I or the OP wrote?

Cripes, it gets worse and worse.

She wouldn’t be staying under my roof again until my parents and myself got a full apology and even then I don’t think she’d be welcome.

Does your son not think she behaved badly?

Both of my children have taken friends on holiday with us at various times and they have both admitted afterwards that they found it pretty stressful at times. They are stuck between their irritated parents and their friends who are in their ear getting them to push for more freedom/alcohol/entertainment etc. it can be very wearing and I can see it taking a toll on them.

I know your son is not a teenager but I think there was something similar going on. He had been trying to keep her happy all week and was probably fed up with it himself but didn’t know how or didn’t want to deal with it on holiday . I am absolutely not excusing him being rude to your parents but I can imagine him snapping if he was being scolded from all sides.

I wouldn’t berate him anymore. I would speak to my parents and say if/when he apologises please to accept it with good grace and perhaps they could reinforce that they weee just disappointed because he’s so great and loved. Then I would ask him to apologise to his GPs (without equivocation) for taking the shine off their holiday.

I think he’ll see the light as far as the girlfriend is concerned eventually. I think you’ll be doing well just to be polite to her going forward 😉

Point out to your son that the longer he leaves it before apologising abjectly to your parents and thanking them for the holiday, the worse it will be.

Do you think ds also had enough of the girlfriend but snapped and took it out on your parents instead? It doesn’t sound like a fun relationship.

You should have spoke to your son

I mentioned the DS too and said he should apologise.

OP says the gf complained about absolutely everything, not just the bar being shut. It ruined their first holiday in 8 years. She screamed at DS. She didn’t thank them for paying for her. A-hole behaviour as a guest of the family.

Nothing misogynistic about saying that.

I agree. It sounds like very toxic family dynamics. GPs having a go at OP about the behaviour of the son and girlfriend and then talk of writing their grandson out of the will because of a rude comment at the end of what sounds to have been a stressful holiday. OP not wanting girlfriend in the house because she moaned on holiday. Maybe the girlfriend picked up on the bad vibes and that has led to the moaning.

Appalling behaviour. I have a 21 year old son with a 21 year old girlfriend. Generous grandparents on both sides and they’ve been either treated or had to pay a minimal contribution over the last three years to various holidays.

In honesty, our family holidays could not be more different and I think a bit of a culture shock (both ways) when holidaying with each family.

But they have both have done it with good grace, thanked grandparents and found and made their own fun creating holidays that have been the best for them as a couple.

Beyond the disrespect, I think I’d be having a word with my son around healthy relationships.

Holidays are precious times and it’s important you make the absolute most of your time away. A good relationship in their circumstances should have been able to navigate this quite easily.

@LunaDeBallona calling out misogynistic comments is never inappropriate

Or, she was just rude

Between them they ruined my parents holiday and in turn mine because now I'm getting it in the neck from both sides because DS is angry at being called out for his behaviour and my parents are massively pissed by the behaviour of both

If you’ve given him a bollocking for his behaviour, why is he moaning at you? Was it a bit of a half hearted bollocking? Or is he not taking you seriously?

The nerve of DS's girlfriend is shocking! This is rudeness at a level I cannot even imagine.

Not to make ANY excuses for DS, but he probably felt some stress with his girlfriend complaining nonstop (probably even more to him in private) and then, as OP mentioned, "screaming" at him at one point--in front of his own family!!!

I feel sorry for you, OP, what with your parents rightfully upset and now the DS, but the DS was in the wrong, and that girlfriend of his would NEVER be allowed in my house again. She owes him, you, and especially your parents a formal and heartfelt apology.

Your son obviously owes you and your parents a huge apology for how he treated them. They are his family, so no excuse for him to not apologize. It's not just about a lack of respect but about a complete lack of gratitude for a free holiday out of the goodness of their hearts!

I can only hope your son does the right thing and breaks it off with her. If he doesn't think what she did was terribly rude and ungrateful, then I think I'd explain it to him because he should.

How old is your DS and GF?

sorry I’d not read the full thread

I’d suggest they send a thank you card to your parents for the holiday & apologise in there.

Maybe that's just the way she is , but your son still likes her so give her a break?

Shocking behaviour on their part! I'd not be having her in my house ever again. At least now you know why her parents stopped taking her with them on holiday in her teens.

I agree with above - he's getting his shag and that is his number one priority, so he's unlikely to break up with her any time soon.

I wouldn't let her in my house again.
Good on you for bollocking them both.

In real life I think parents are very cautious about banning a partner from their house as they don’t want to lose their child. I think their behaviour is atrocious but everyone’s said their piece, id probably take some space now. Although if they stayed together it would be really really hard to not say things like ‘would you like to come for dinner? Is gf coming? Do you think she can manage not to criticise every single part of the meal i cook?’

id try and go on a weekend away with your parents. Son not invited this round. Gf never ever invited.

You never know how children are raised unless you actually you see them around their parents.
You say her parents never holiday with her - however, it could be they never took her (or any of her siblings) on their holidays. Ever.
Maybe her parents were quite standoffish during her lifetime, employing babysitters while they went on holiday after holiday and out with their friends and spent weekends away in the countryside.
I know a family exactly like this and the mother and daughter didn’t connect until the daughter got cancer - and then it was too late. I watched with sadness as they spent the last few months together when they could’ve had a lifetime.
Your son is probably embarrassed. Given time I hope he comes to realise that his grandparents are precious and he owes them much more than an apology.
I’m very sorry about your vacay and your parents. They didn’t deserve any of that.

The fact they came and didn’t even offer to pay is so rude. Make it clear she will not be coming on any future holidays and that you need a break from seeing her. And that until your son apologises
profusely to the grandparents who paid for his trip that you won’t be helping him with anything. I’d ask my son to move out honestly. Give him a real kick up the backside!!

I’d actually suggest you go away with your parents next time and DS isn’t invited either!