Team day out without me

[Ereerenownow]

Have just seen on social media that my entire team have been taken out as a treat by our manager. He has taken them to a local seaside resort for ice creams and general fun. I haven't been invited and didn't know anything about it. I'm the only one not there. We were all in the office yesterday and not a single person mentioned it.

Not necessarily. In that case the claimant was excluded on the back of raising complaints about age and race discrimination.

If someone isn't invited purely because they are not well liked then it wouldn't be discrimination, it would still not be very nice though.

I wonder if it's due to the secondment and OP not being seen as a permanent member of them team, but it's hard to tell.

Sorry OP and I think you are right to consider your options.

It’s bullying and your manager would be in a whole heap of bother in many organisations. It should be raised with HR; even if you don’t want to raise a grievance, they should be making him aware that he cannot behave that way. - he is putting the company at risk of a tribunal.

They've behaved like a bunch of Mean Girls. You can bet they were all emailing privately between each other on Friday in office time - what are you wearing on Saturday, can I have a lift, see you at 10am tomorrow etc - silently and bitchily leaving you out. They'll be at it again on Monday - she hasn't said anything, do you think she knows?

I would rise above the lot of them. You love your job, carry on regardless. The co-workers don't matter but the fact your manager clearly doesn't like you is the issue, he's hoping to ease you out. Look for another job and leave in your own time.

Hm There are 2 options. Just carry on and spend time with your friends and family. Move on when you can.

OR you could go nuclear and go to HR. Full grievance. Make it super awkward for them.

Your call.

Rest assured they’re fucking twats.

I would call that out publicly online

With a simple I am part of this team, yet j am not invited, why..?

Put him on the spot

Don't just be meak and mild and silently seethe

My mate actually had this happen to them along with other bullying. Took them to a tribunal in the end.

Has someone set up an single e-mail address for the entire team and possibly left you off the list
This happened by accident in one place that I worked at
Every time I’m not invited to these sort of things I’m thankful as It means I don’t have to try and get out of them, In my last company I worked from home full time and regularly got left out of e-mails regarding these sort of things

What was the outcome?

The optics do not look good for the manager.

it will be interesting to see whether he tries to claim trip expenses for a non-working day or whether he “fudges” the dates so it looks like work expenses. Revenge may be a slightly cold dish but get your evidence together.

She’s doing it across several threads.

About 30k

OP said in a prior thread that she's 50. Could you sell age discrimination if she's 50 and they're, say, 55-60?

Even on this thread the Op has said that there’s hardly anything between them in terms of age

Oh don’t be silly

just wondering whether a photo of a group of colleagues having an ice cream together on a Saturday is outside of work time would stack up as “evidence” is not bullying

Of course it’s shit and you can take action on this but

TBH what outcome do you want for whatever reason you don’t fit in would you really of wanted to go and would you of enjoyed it

u could be making a rod for your own back complain about this and going forward if you take action then you can’t really refuse any future events and outings if you’ve kicked off about not being invited

some battles just aren’t worth entering

Talk to ACAS, because this is workplace bullying. You don't have to address it with HR if you prefer to just move on, but you might find it helps your self esteem to know his behaviour is being managed even when it doesn't affect you.

There is a lot more to this than you being innocently excluded.

You’ve previously posted that they fall out with each other, shout and scream and generally bitch and moan all the time. You also said they backstab and have ganged up on you.

Your ‘top boss’ came into the office to tell you colleagues have complained that you make them feel uncomfortable. You’ve also said they’ve investigated you.

I think you need to make a detailed note of these occurrences and seek professional advice.

It could be if it’s deliberate exclusion. If it’s classed as a team activity and one of the team has been purposefully left out then it appears that it is.

What SM platform was this posted on? You may have a case if this was LinkedIn, for example as it can be seen as a work related outing.

I dont agree with what they did, however, they could in theory say this was an outside work event (not an official work event) amongst friends and if there has been some issues with other colleagues beforehand, they could argue that you weren't in this "friendship group".

Even if the reason given is that she was seconded, it is no excuse, as she was still a member of the work force, so it was still mean. Even if she wouldn’t have wanted to go anyway isn’t relevant - she should have been given the option. So hurtful.

But surely they must have all been talking about the event beforehand so everyone would have known.

How ridiculous. I live by the sea and every adult I know likes to have a stroll, sit on the beach and have an ice cream.

I have the opposite problem . A woman that I work with keeps asking me to go out for dinners lunches and coffees with her. I know she is lonely as she has told me a lot about her life.

I don't really dislike her , she's just not someone i would choose to socialise with.

There are other people that i prefer to spend ny hours outside work with.

She can ask. But i have the right to say no. I feel like she might be the type that will say im being unfriendly to her. But i dont have to socialise with her outside work

Check through all your work emails to check that you didn't miss it by oversight. Check spam. If deffo not asked, speak to union/ACAS.