Baby at fertility show?

[Butterbly]

I'm not sure if I'm just in the haze of ivf treatments

Today I went to a fertility/ family building event. It was some stands but mostly talks by a fertility clinic on treatment options for example an hour talk of iui medications and procedures etc and an hour on implications of ivf in a packed conference room (100+ people)

I've been sent a link to give some feedback.

I was surprised that a couple bought their baby along in a pram

The baby was fairly vocal (crying and chatting) which didn't feel right for any kind of indepth talk in that way so I would have taken it outside at that point. In breaks in the event, it was being walked along in the aisles, they were loudly playing with it

I think it's probably fair to feedback that I struggled to hear at points because of background noise, but is it also fair to say that it didn't feel like the right audience for a baby?

So are you expecting the event to have policed the entry to not allow the couple with a baby?

Or that the couple were absolutely tone deaf and shouldn't have attended, or at least controlled themselves and child?

I'm looking here to understand what you think should have happened?

I don't know to be honest. I wouldnt have expected an event about infertility would have a baby present.

Its hard to hear about the physical, emotional and financial cost of something that might not result in success whilst hearing a giggling baby.

I think the couple were tone deaf to be honest

I'm surprised the clinic running it weren't more alert to the baby being there in any sense but particularly when it was very visible, and being disruptive to those near jt

I dont see anything wrong in mentioning it, in future they might add some wording to say that while babies are welcome you'll be asked to move on if they are stopping other attendees hearing the talks.

They, amongst others there, could be experiencing secondary infertility. I don’t think a serious talk is the best place for a child in general, so I don’t think YABU for that reason (though it could be that their childcare fell through, I suppose.) However, you must come across children all the time in public? So I don’t agree that it was inappropriate from a sensitivity perspective, personally.

I guess just not in the context of whilst looking at graphs about declining fertility, and talking about the low success rates of treatments

I've no objection to babies in public

I do think it was a little insensitive of them from an outside perspective. That being said, as pp mentioned they could be suffering from secondary infertility themselves and had no alternative but to bring their baby. Not everybody has a ‘village.’

I do also agree that one of them should have taken the baby elsewhere if they were causing disruption though! One parent could easily have fed back info from the talk.

I have not struggled with infertility (first pregnancy accidental, second pregnancy first cycle) but I find this quite upsetting. It seems tone deaf to bring a baby to a talk like that. If their childcare fell through, they should’ve stayed home.

Secondary infertility is a thing, and families that need support with that shouldn’t be excluded.

I think fine to bring the baby if that’s what they had to do. Not fine at all to disrupt the talk - one of them should have taken the baby out.

I don't really see the issue.

I haven't had fertility troubles thankfully but have suffered with miscarriages (late). I don't think i'd have a problem with a baby coming along to a discussion because people who are already parents can still be going through loss.

It might sound cruel but babies are everywhere you go.

I've not minded when I've seen them in clinic waiting rooms because I get childcare for appointments must be hard.

However this was an optional event, in a lecture based style.

I don't think it's excluding to say that having a soundtrack of baby laughs etc to some quite depressing lectures (at times women near me were crying)

If they'd been quietly in a corner I'd probably not notice which is a good point

I think saying they may have secondary infertility is a bit of a push as they can’t have had much time to even try for a second child if they only have a baby. Serious lectures are no place for a baby especially with the sensitive topics being discussed.

Your op said it was a ‘family building’ event

they did nothing wrong imo

I agree it seems odd, but they must have some sort of fertility issue because it’s not like it’s somewhere you’d choose for a fun day out with your baby. No one would go if they didn’t feel like they would benefit from the information.

They should have taken a disruptive baby outside. But I think attending with a baby is generally fine - some could sleep through the whole thing and that would be ok.

Don’t think there was an issue with a baby being present, they are part of life whether you have one or not. But, as with any other event, if a baby or child is being disruptive they should be taken out.

‘Quietly in a corner’

really?

Whatever the event not removing a crying baby that's stopping other attendees hearing the talk is inconsistent and selfish, surely that goes without saying

Would you stay where you knew your baby was ruining a talk for others?

Some people think that being around babies will help getting pregnant, they love and want babies, and are happy for others who have babies …

then there are people like you, who don’t want to see any babies while they learn about infertility and think seeing a baby or being exposed to one is “insensitive” to your feelings.

You should ask the provider to organize special environment for you.

Perhaps the baby is living proof that fertility treatment works and worth the expense. Yes, the baby shouldn't be disrupting talks, but it's harsh to complain about them entertaining a baby during breaks.

Yes they are part of life, but if you are struggling with infertility, shouldn't a fertility show be the one place you can safely expect not to see babies?

It doesn't always work.

You said ‘fairly vocal’ during the conference

so to me that doesn’t sound too bad. It wasn’t a university lecture. You can’t really complain about a baby being a baby, during the breaks …

Problem is, fertility treatment isn’t just for the infertile.

It is also for secondary infertility, for same sex couples, for those with genetic disorders where they may need to use sperm/egg donors and single women.

So I do think YABU, although that’s said with kindness and a MN type fist bump, as I do get how gruelling it is 👍🏻 And I hope it works for you!

If the child is still a baby I don’t think secondary infertility is likely.

Their first child could have been a long journey to conceive and they are facing that prospect again?