Baby at fertility show?

[Butterbly]

I'm not sure if I'm just in the haze of ivf treatments

Today I went to a fertility/ family building event. It was some stands but mostly talks by a fertility clinic on treatment options for example an hour talk of iui medications and procedures etc and an hour on implications of ivf in a packed conference room (100+ people)

I've been sent a link to give some feedback.

I was surprised that a couple bought their baby along in a pram

The baby was fairly vocal (crying and chatting) which didn't feel right for any kind of indepth talk in that way so I would have taken it outside at that point. In breaks in the event, it was being walked along in the aisles, they were loudly playing with it

I think it's probably fair to feedback that I struggled to hear at points because of background noise, but is it also fair to say that it didn't feel like the right audience for a baby?

I would have been devastated to experience this whilst struggling to conceive or after one of my losses.

it really does no hardship at an optional event to leave your baby at home when the alternative is to cause a great deal of distress

This is exactly it - most people would agree that it’s best to find an alternative solution.

@Butterblythere is an infertility board here, you probably know that. But just in case.

I agree with you entirely, having been there, and by there, for anyone who wishes the details.
ten losses
two failed ivf
no children possible
adoption x two
two children in a pandemic born naturally.

At no point then, or now, could I see that as reasonable.

i disagree with the accusations from some posters that the world doesn’t revolve around you.

for me, this is a case of women and the ability to show empathy and to read a room. Show that for others.

the only instance I could see that woman being there with husband and baby, would be by force. Because I believe that women who have been through such trauma and or are going through such trauma would not do so otherwise.

Unless it’s adopted?

The couple were selfish and inconsiderate to take a baby along to such an event and even if their childcare had fallen through, surely it didn’t require both of them to attend?

They are not, but they’re allowed to be there, which was OPs main complaint
They have a baby, a noise creature by definition…

This. A baby shouldn't be at a talk but given they didn't remove it when it was being disruptive, it's not surprising they were insensitive either.

To the ppl clutching at straws saying the baby could be adopted...highly unlikely given its very rare for babies to be adopted these days, and if it is an adopted baby, very concerning that parents of newly adopted babies with the upheaval their baby would have endured would be considering having a new baby while adopted baby was so young, unless they'd taken zero on board from their training.

Likewise, doesn't sound like it's secondary infertility either if the baby is still a baby.

I agree with you OP, it seems very insensitive but that's society for you these days...people don't care about others and are selfish. Huge lack of empathy on this thread.

Slightly different... I had most of my IVF cycles abroad. I was lucky enough to bring my daughter back to the clinic she was conceived in when we were trying again. It was the type of clinic that had a hotel and restaurant connected. So she was in the hotel and lobby. Not present for procedures so not disturbing anyone. Infertility is horrendously difficult and you have my understanding and sympathy but hopefully you will be successful and when you are I'd like u to feel u could take your child with you whenever you like.

YANBU

They shouldn’t have brought a baby. It’s agony when you so want a child and you feel people are flaunting that they already have one.

It’s irrational thinking but when you are so desperate for a child that’s how you feel.

My MIL dumped SIL baby in my lap without asking. I didn’t want to hold the baby. Nearly stood up and dropped it. I couldn’t bare it and just wanted to get away. We’d been trying for 5yrs. She fell pregnant by accident.

If you haven’t got kids I hope you never get them. You are unkind.

Have you got kids?

You are nasty.

What are people who have no childcare for existing children supposed to do if they require access to emergency contraception or abortion exactly? I’d say that’s more appropriate than the scenario in the OP, not less - the event OP was at was optional. Accessing healthcare is not.

Having had a miscarriage, then trouble ttc I get that seeing babies seemingly everywhere is heartbreaking but you have no idea how that baby came about. Maybe it was a very long awaited IVF baby or from a surrogate. Maybe she too had suffered miscarriage after miscarriage.
Maybe they had zero choices for childcare that day but were desperate for further information on how to continue having a family.
Perhaps one of the parents could have taken the baby outside if it was unsettled but they had every right to be there too.

Not sure what that's got to do with my post. I didn't make any comment on infertility in relation to other problems in life? Nor did I make a comment on my own fertility.

Feel free to re read but also consider whether your post is appropriate on a thread where some of the women have clearly been affected by infertility.

Can you have secondary infertility with a baby? I am well aware of what secondary infertility is, my point is if they are under 1, then I’d think it’s too early to be diagnosed with secondary infertility. My multiple friends with it would have had their first at least 3 years old by the time it became secondary infertility rather than trying for a second.

But wasn’t that OP’s main point…?