Baby at fertility show?

[Butterbly]

I'm not sure if I'm just in the haze of ivf treatments

Today I went to a fertility/ family building event. It was some stands but mostly talks by a fertility clinic on treatment options for example an hour talk of iui medications and procedures etc and an hour on implications of ivf in a packed conference room (100+ people)

I've been sent a link to give some feedback.

I was surprised that a couple bought their baby along in a pram

The baby was fairly vocal (crying and chatting) which didn't feel right for any kind of indepth talk in that way so I would have taken it outside at that point. In breaks in the event, it was being walked along in the aisles, they were loudly playing with it

I think it's probably fair to feedback that I struggled to hear at points because of background noise, but is it also fair to say that it didn't feel like the right audience for a baby?

So are trolls.

My son is adopted and I would never, I’m already a mom, I know how painful it is to want that more than anything.

Plus adopting a baby and then undergoing fertility treatments right away would be incredibly irresponsible.

I had multiple pregnancy losses prior to adopting my son.

I had one late term loss when my son was 4. It was awful but it wasn’t the same because I was already a mom.

I’d like to think women with secondary infertility can appreciate it is not the same thing as never having a child.

Yanbu OP. So much love and hope for you and your dream of becoming a mom. 🩷

But babies are everywhere.
You don't know why the baby was in attendance. Couple may have been babysitting.
Was there a NO BABIES order in the advertising? At the door?

Married people are everywhere but as someone said would you bring your husband to a presentation towards widows?

Youre seriously suggesting that a couple struggling to conceive happened to agree to babysit at the same time theyd booked to attend an infertility conference and thought, oh well let's just take the baby along?

The knots that some poaters on here will tie themselves in to come up with justifications is laughable

Tell this story in real life and the overwhelming reaction. Is going to be, yeah that's a bit off, how insensitive.

This is what I was going to say. At best they'd have been trying for another child for a few months. I think it's pretty bloody tone deaf to take a baby there. Unless there was more to the event that just fertility talks? Op mentioned family building and some stands?
Still should have taken a noisy baby out of a talk conference event, that's basis courtesy.

Did you have to buy tickets to the event or was it somewhere someone could have walked pass, saw all the stands/word family X event and thought it was something to be able to wander around? I could see how a couple out on a walk might not have planned to attend but found it interesting (maybe they had fertility issues before having this little on and wanted to understand more).

I don't think they should have avoided it because it was an even about fertility but definitely left ANY talk or lecture if a child was being noisy and disruptive

Did you have to buy tickets to the event or was it somewhere someone could have walked pass, saw all the stands/word family X event and thought it was something to be able to wander around? I could see how a couple out on a walk might not have planned to attend but found it interesting (maybe they had fertility issues before having this little on and wanted to understand more).

I don't think they should have avoided it because it was an even about fertility but definitely left ANY talk or lecture if a child was being noisy and disruptive

OP I would feel the same way as you. It is tone deaf of them to thing baby and inconsiderate in terms of noise etc.

I read it as two concerns:
a) the baby was noisy, which I was conceding,
b) bringing a baby to an infertility talk was the ‘wrong audience’

Habing gone through this process I cam absolutely see why it was practically difficult to be around a baby crying as well as emotionally difficult. If I were suffering from secondary infertility I would absolutely have recognised that it could be difficult for other families.

You clearly know nothing about adoption. A childless couple wouldn’t get approved as adoptive parents if they hadn’t completely come to terms with not having a biological child.

Ticketed
It was run by an ivf clinic

They were obviously there for a reason, as a previous poster said its not really an option for a fun day out so something must have been going on for them.

Unless they came to increase everyone's fertility by proximity or to give people hope as per previous suggestions 😂

It wasn't at the clinic
It was at conference center at a hotel
It wasn't the right sort of environment for the bringing baby to visit the doctors that made it type thing. I've seen that happen in clinics and get that

It was specifically 90% talks and mostly by heads of departments, charities, services type thing to big groups of people vs the staff that would have helped create babies specifically

As someone who had many years of infertility and IVF before having my kids, I do think the presence of the baby in the talks themselves is pretty tone deaf. I would give some feedback to the clinic to consider for next time. I don't think you can reasonably ban babies from the whole event and the parents obviously do have a reason to be there- and every right to be there- but having the baby in the talk being entertained and played with does sound inappropriate. It's very hard for people who have not been through infertility to understand, but I would think an IVF clinic would be receptive to your comments. Good luck with your fertility journey OP x

YANBU.

I’ve worked in a fertility clinic and we absolutely NEVER allowed babies or children on the premises. It was always nice to see photos of babies of ‘successful’ couples but they all knew not to bring them on site.

I’ve also worked in fetal medicine and early pregnancy assessment and again, same rule applies. Absolutely no babies, toddlers or children allowed.

It’s absolutely okay and humane to have this very firm boundary.

This post is quite possibly peak Mumsnet!

Honestly, the lack of understanding and empathy is just mind blowing.

It really is unbelievable.

To be very blunt about it, MN have always been absolute cunts to the infertile. From ‘just adopt’ to ‘kids aren’t that great anyway, I have three and I’m JEALOUS of my childfree mates’ and the breathtaking lack of sensitivity here, it’s just not a great place to be if you’re childless not by choice.

I think it definitely seems insensitive given the nature of the event. But perhaps the face that it was a fertility/ family building event, the couple might have attended to grow their family in the near future. Although secondary infertility is a thing, I highly doubt a couple with a young baby would be diagnosed with secondary infertility just yet because doctors are aware that our bodies don’t just bounce back straightaway. Also, the couple may have had the baby via IVF and might want to pursue fertility treatments in the future and therefore attended to change clinics, find out about alternatives etc.

Completely agree. I always forget that AIBU tends to attract some posters who don’t seem to think before typing.

Without knowing who the couple were and why they were there, it is not possible to answer. Perhaps the mother works for one of the organisations and was there in a professional capacity and the father (assuming he was), was there to look after the baby during periods she was unavailable. I have been at many conferences over the years where breastfeeding mums have brought babies along and the dad has taken them out the way while they are busy.

I do agree that they were insensitive to have not removed the baby from the room if it was crying during talks. That is an absolute given.

Well, they were there for a reason. I doubt they rocked up to the event to purposely flaunt their baby off to everyone.

They were clearly interested in IVF for whatever reason and as pp's have pointed out, it would be very early for them to be diagnosed as having secondary infertility.

Either way, I agree that one of them should've stayed home with the baby.