Sister angry I “yanked” my nephew’s arm and told him off

[Mmemm]

So I live with my parents (saving up for flat in London). My sister often visits with her child and husband.

We have a gorgeous 12 yo Golden Retriever who is enjoying his golden years sunbathing on the sofa. Anyway, I was in the living room on my phone when I saw my little toddler nephew go up to my dog on the sofa and hit him on the head with a coaster. Obviously it’s not heavy but I reacted as I am protective of my elderly dog, poor boy was dozing. I ran up to my nephew and held him by arm and said “we do not throw things at ‘Lucky’, how would you like it if I hit you in the face? That was very mean of you”. I took the coaster away from him and said if he can’t use it nicely then he can’t have it. Not a big deal. Pretty normal way to deal with it in my view. I may have been a little cross.

But sister is now demanding an apology. BIL was sat sort of to the side reading a magazine and snitched. Didn’t say anything at the time. Errr how how about you parent your child mate.

But apparently I was very overboard. I don’t think I was. I refuse to apologise on principal. Dog took it in his stride but you can’t be allowing shit
like that to happen.

In my mind sister can do one but parents have literally begged me as apparently she won’t visit whilst I am home 😂

erm you could have been kinder

If your dog had snapped at the child it would have been your fault no doubt. Ask her if she would rather you had let the dog do the discipline.

The parent in the room could have been supervising more closely

Don't apologise - it's right that you told him off. Children need to be told to be kind to animals

Kids need to learn how to behave around dogs - particularly large and elderly ones.

Just a shame you had to parent your nephew instead of your sister doing it.

How old is toddler? Difference between understanding of 2yo and 3yo.

Sounds like you were possibly heavy handed but BIL should have been parenting his child.

Double post

How old is your nephew exactly?

If my 3.5 yr old did this. I'd be very annoyed with your language but I'd get over it as she honestly knows you shouldn't that

If it was a 2 year old or under id react similarly to your sister

4 months from being 3

I think your reaction was fine. And I'd point out that the dad should have stepped in to tell the child that that's not how we treat animals

"How would you like it if I hit you in the face" to a toddler is a ridiculous thing to say and not a normal way to deal with it.

Gently holding his arm, bending down to his level and saying No, we dont hit lucky and removing the coaster, fine.

How old is he? I'm guessing very young.

Sounds pretty over the top and you said yourself you were angry. I wouldn't like someone talking angrily to my children.

How old is the baby? I don’t think I’d of yanked his arm and may of been ‘cross’, how cross?

Child definitely needs watching, unfortunately they can be clumsy and make daft decisions like this and need telling. Yanking and ‘being cross’ with somebody else’s child, depends I suppose.

I think I’d of told the Dad to sort it out.

I didn’t like seeing my elderly dog whacked in the face whilst sleeping

Yeah 2yo doesn't have enough understanding for how you dealt with it. But BIL has to take some responsibility.

that doesn't make you any better

In my view it was not a yank but that is how it’s been framed. I held the arm which had the coaster to prevent him from doing it again

Over reaction on your part. He’s 2.

Your words were so over the top for a 2.5 year old. It’s not an issue that you said something to him but it’s how or what you say. This is not a normal thing to do with such a young child.

He knows not to throw his food. He’s been told to be gentle with our pets. He knows better in my view. He’s almost three. Nephew can definitely be communicated with and understands.

However old and soppy the dog, children need to be supervised around them. I'd be more concerned that his dad wasn't watching him carefully enough. You just never know.

So 2. The number before 3 is 2. You threatened a 2 year old. 🤣

For future reference, you take the coaster away nicely and say "no that's not kind, it hurts, we don't hurt animals."

You don't grab at children, or shout a them. Or threaten to hit them.

Personally I wouldn't be leaving my child unsupervised around you.

So a 2.5yr old...

Yabu imo.
My children only know how to behave because we have a dog and even then it's not perfect despite how much they love her.

Developmentally your nephews behaviour wasn't mean.

I'd also highlight YOU were in the room with your nephew (not some random child you have no obligation to) and honestly could have supervised for 5 mins.
I'm not suggesting your BIL / Sister weren't distracted or are perfect but you handled this imperfectly.

I wouldnt be dying on this hill but id be pretty annoyed at you..
And I'm a "relaxed" kids fight/ get injured/have things happen, life is messy what ya gonna do? type parent

Your sister maybe also wants to see your parents solo once in while.

Many dogs would have snapped at the child and caused a serious injury.

If this teaches the child a lesson not to provoke a dog then this could be a good thing.

Maybe you could have worded it better. I agree that the other parent should have stepped in.

2 is very different from an almost 3 yo.