Sister angry I “yanked” my nephew’s arm and told him off

[Mmemm]

So I live with my parents (saving up for flat in London). My sister often visits with her child and husband.

We have a gorgeous 12 yo Golden Retriever who is enjoying his golden years sunbathing on the sofa. Anyway, I was in the living room on my phone when I saw my little toddler nephew go up to my dog on the sofa and hit him on the head with a coaster. Obviously it’s not heavy but I reacted as I am protective of my elderly dog, poor boy was dozing. I ran up to my nephew and held him by arm and said “we do not throw things at ‘Lucky’, how would you like it if I hit you in the face? That was very mean of you”. I took the coaster away from him and said if he can’t use it nicely then he can’t have it. Not a big deal. Pretty normal way to deal with it in my view. I may have been a little cross.

But sister is now demanding an apology. BIL was sat sort of to the side reading a magazine and snitched. Didn’t say anything at the time. Errr how how about you parent your child mate.

But apparently I was very overboard. I don’t think I was. I refuse to apologise on principal. Dog took it in his stride but you can’t be allowing shit
like that to happen.

In my mind sister can do one but parents have literally begged me as apparently she won’t visit whilst I am home 😂

i dont think being a mum of 10 gives you a right to call a child a brat

Why are you writing insults in Welsh? Hoping not to be deleted?

I got a rather bonkers Google translation for that.

A literal translation would sound bonkers! @Mayhooray I think had some nasty comments directed at her which were deleted but she's hidden her response in Welsh. It's colloquial Welsh shall we say-and South Walian.

I'm obviously cruel to DS then, I've had to loosen his fingers from my hair and I've held his feet when he's been kicking my chest/tummy while on his changing table, because that shit hurts. He's not even 10 months old, but I tell him no, we don't do that, etc. I might as well start as I mean to go on!

Many children ARE brats. The word exists for a reason.

You’re the one who sounds like a dysfunctional brat if anything,

I’m not sure you can translate Welsh! 😂

Ok, toddlers do daft things BUT if they are not taught how to treat animals, then what happens in the future?

Kid hits dog, dog gets scared... next time, kid, any kid, approaches the dog, dog thinks it's going to be hurt, dog reacts to protect itself. Kid gets bitten. And it's the dog's fault??? Nope it's the parents and adults around the kid's fault.

You did right to tell the toddler off and protect your sleepy dog. I have always taught my kids how to respect animals and, if I ever saw anyone lift their hand to a cat or dog.. yup, I'd intervene.

Your sister and BIL need to grow up. If they cannot be bothered to teach their kid how to treat animals, what may that kid do in the future??? And they need to tell said kid, explain gently, never to hurt an animal and Aunty was so upset... that's her doggy baby too... teach respect & empathy... IMO

Not unreasonable, but.

First, read what I write here to both your mother and sister.

Second, my kids are 9, 5 1/2, and 15 months and I would be totally okay if you or someone else did this to them in the situation you describe, regardless of how old the animal was. The behaviour of your nephew is actually age appropriate and normal, but the kids still need to be taught right from the get-go that we be gentle with animals. We have to socialize our kids the same as we do our dogs.

Now the BUT. You said this was your sisters only child. In my experience, when it's an only child the parent usually (not always) is both less experienced and more protective. She is likely upset that you put your hands on her son, and maybe that you spoke harshly.

If her son remains an only child and they continue to parent him this way, when he starts school and gets too rough with the other children (or a teacher), your sister is going to spend a lot of time explaining why he hasn't been socialized properly.

If she ends up having a second child, after the first time he plows that newborn in the head with a coaster you're going to see a huge adjustment in her parenting style.

To all those people out there that think you were too harsh- I had my ear bitten off by the family dog when I was 19 months old and I would have preferred somebody to grab me to prevent me from harassing the dog , to be clear I didn't even harass the dog, unfortunate timing- but that just groed to show that the punishment from the dog could have been so much worse! not to say that your sweet golden retriever could ever do anything like that but still it's better that you intervened than the dog gets snappy so 19 months old 3 years old I don't care, watch your children around dogs and step in before the dog does.

If she ends up having a second child, after the first time he plows that newborn in the head with a coaster you're going to see a huge adjustment in her parenting style.

Great point

She wasn’t even there! If your behaviour was so bad she is refusing to come round then why didn’t her husband say or do anything at the time. She is being pathetic and manipulative. Do not apologise.

2/3 year olds don’t really understand these things and you probably slightly overreacted but he wasn’t phased by any of it and you didn’t do it to be spiteful.

No, you didn't do anything wrong, and your sister should be ashamed of herself for not backing you up. Remember that village they say it takes to raise a child. Well, in the old days, any adult villager in the room would have slapped his butt, so he got off easy.

Do not apologize to anyone for protecting the dog. I would have laid into both parents for not caring that the dog was hurt.

I am very surprised only 60% said not to apologize. You did everything right parents clearly haven’t taught their child to respect others nor animals. I can only imagine what preschool will be like. This is what is wrong with parents today they take no accountability and when the kid does something horrible later in life this is why. Your parents also need to stop condoning this behavior form your sister that is also why she acts like this literally bad parenting all around

You did the right thing. He needs to learn you don’t do this. WTF is the dad not parenting him?

Dog owner(mom) Is right!!! Any age of Child Needs to learn,,, You don’t Hit Animals!!! Even with Harmless objects……

Sounds like you all need to grow the fuck up.

his dad didn’t ‘snitch’ he told his wife what he saw you do. Maybe he didn’t think he could tell you to stop as he’s not your family, she is. he should have been watching thd baby more closely though.
Your language attempts to minimise what you did, whilst your sisters attempts to make it a bigger deal. I suspect the truth lies in between.
your sister could let it go, but equally you could apologise. You’re being ridiculously precious over a dog, whilst she is being precious over her child.

The 2 year old is the only not unreasonable one.