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Original poster

Couple ejects Sister-in-law’s mother from wedding

196 replies

ChorltonCreamery · 08/05/2025 16:22

I am still kind of reeling/mulling on something I witnessed at the weekend.

About 8 years ago we went to the wedding of DH’s second cousin who was the groom. I distinctly remember the bride’s mother, a really lovely woman who went round making everyone feel welcome. No expense was spared, I think this is relevant but while my husband was fairly appalled at what happened he doesn’t think it’s relevant.

This couple now have a two year old and this groom’s brother got married at the weekend and previous groom was one of two best men.

My MiL said that there was upset that the child, the only niece wasn’t invited. Anyway even though we live in the city we stayed in the hotel for the weekend and so did the first couple and their little girl and her mother came along to care for the child while they were at the wedding.

After the wedding breakfast the mother and little girl were spotted in the grounds, my MiL and a few others went to see the little girl. Someone employed by the hotel kind of went over and tried to usher them inside and directed the grandma to a play area.

After first dance the groom’s sister in law disappeared and the brother came down with his mother-in-law who wished the couple well and she was given a drink by father of groom. The bride was eyeing staff and then another suited employee ushered the old lady out.

Sister-in-law then reappeared and told her husband what had happened, the brother and sister-in-law of the groom were outraged that her mother wasn’t allowed to join the wedding in the evening and left.

Mother of groom cried to my MiL and other cousins the next day.

Would you have allowed an old woman, your brother’s mother-in-law to stay in these circumstances? I would!

OP posts:
Tekknonan · 09/05/2025 12:17

Spirallingdownwards · 08/05/2025 19:51

She is not a family member of neither the bride nor groom.

I agree as a guest if the hotel she could obviously go into any public areas of the hotel but she should not have entered any area that was reserved for the private event in the same way any other hotel guest should not.

Her daughter and SIL chose to have her there to babysit rather than ask her to babysit their child in their or her home which is fine but imposing her on the wedding couple was in no way acceptable

Show quote history

You're quite right. Never mind banging her up in the Kids' Cage. Clap her in irons and shove her into the hotel dungeon.

Honestly, chucking out your brother's mother-in-law who is enabling the presence of your best man and his wife by babysitting, using hotel security to do it... Talk about Bride-and-Groomzilla.

Maybe they should have burned her at the stake and had a barbecue.

Dontbeme · 09/05/2025 12:34

Cannot wait for the next thread on this theme "Was the archbishop unreasonable for throwing me out of the papal conclave just because I am not a catholic and wasn't invited"

One half of mumsnet: It's JesUS not JesME, the more the merrier. Just turn more water into wine.
Other half: Vatican City need to build higher walls to keep CF out.

JKFan · 09/05/2025 13:06

Slightly off topic, but I remember my mother attending a wedding when I was about five or six, so well over 50 years ago. We lived in the north of England and this was the other side of the Forth, so I’m assuming we stayed overnight somewhere. I remember we waited in the car with my father while she went into the service then I can picture being in a hallway outside the reception room, presumably at a hotel. What I still remember is that the bride came out to see us and gave us orange juice. I’ve never met her since, but I have always remembered her with fondness because of that.

Porttalbot · 09/05/2025 13:11

RaspberryBeretxx · 08/05/2025 22:11

I don't get why 3 other kids (babies in arms or older teens maybe?) were invited but not the grooms nephew (and best mans son). Surely you don't get much of a closer DC to the wedding couple! To me it seems a bit of an overreaction to escort the extra guest MIL away after 1 glass of champagne. I'm not sure I would have even noticed this issue at my wedding by that point in the day.

Show quote history

"there were three kids in the wedding party."

Obvs bridesmaids/pageboys

LovePoppy · 09/05/2025 14:55

I would allow her to stay, but I would be pissed about it.

brother and wife are assholes.

StupidBoy · 09/05/2025 15:00

ExtraOnions · 08/05/2025 16:34

Isn’t this almost identical to one we had a couple of weeks ago ? What is it with people rocking up, uninvited, to weddings ?

It's so similar it's uncanny.

MakingSpaceForJoy · 09/05/2025 15:04

Honestly, f*ck me, who behaves like this?

My brother’s kid is not invited, and his MIL is upstairs looking after DC whilst everyone is at a lovely party downstairs. They went outside and talked to someone in the party 🤷‍♂️

Honestly, good luck with the marriage between a couple of self centred narcs.

A) I wouldn’t not invited my siblings DC.

B) Pretty sure my DB would tell me to shove my wedding somewhere dark if his DC were not invited.

Do these horrible people really exist?

andtheworldrollson · 09/05/2025 15:08

Weddings traditionally were public events so “rocking up univited “ is a strange concept

and it’s also strange when she is in the same location because of childcare requirements - are people expected to blank her ?

Heronwatcher · 09/05/2025 15:10

I think it was fine for the MIL and child to use the hotel in the same way as any other guest. But in her shoes I wouldn’t have gone anywhere near the wedding. I’d have taken my granddaughter to the zoo/ swimming/ park, then early dinner either in room or at a nice local place, then early night.

That said I wouldn’t have ejected her either if it had been my wedding but I don’t know what the backstory is, especially if the issue of the niece not being invited had already been thrashed out and caused conflict.

NeedToChangeName · 09/05/2025 15:18

I don’t know why the decision was made to bring sister-in-law’s mother and baby to the venue rather than leave them at home

I'd guess because they were hoping to sneak lady and child into the reception?

luckylavender · 09/05/2025 15:24

CF alert

Redpeach · 09/05/2025 15:28

It's sad they weren't having a good enough time to not notice such peripheral nonsense

CheshireCat1 · 09/05/2025 15:35

I would have allowed them to stay, I probably wouldn’t have even spotted the extra guest, never mind having them ushered out.

Pinkishcherryblossoms · 09/05/2025 15:44

JoyousEagle · 08/05/2025 21:35

I don’t know why you’re solely blaming the SIL here. It was the groom’s brother’s child as well, and it was the groom’s brother who brought the MIL down while the SIL was up in the room with the toddler (settling her to sleep I assume).

Show quote history

I assume policy applies. If a man and woman with equal position are involved in any situation, it is the woman's fault. 🙄 Especially true if they are a couple or even just joint parents.

Nothing ever really changes on that front.

Deckings · 09/05/2025 15:50

As a bride or groom I honestly cannot imagine this making the least bit of difference to my wedding day.
How ugly some people are.

pinkyredrose · 09/05/2025 16:18

CaptainFuture · 08/05/2025 21:55

How is it disingenuous? Neither she nor the child was invited, but still she attended with them!

The kid wasn't at the wedding just the Mil.

Yerroblemom1923 · 09/05/2025 17:13

Read it 3 times and still don't understand the question! Can anyone condense the issue or point it out in simple terms, please?

TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne · 09/05/2025 17:16

Yerroblemom1923 · 09/05/2025 17:13

Read it 3 times and still don't understand the question! Can anyone condense the issue or point it out in simple terms, please?

Non.
A lot of people don't understand.

None of the OP's other threads make sense, either.

AMalePerspectives · 09/05/2025 17:28

MissDoubleU · 08/05/2025 16:30

So.. the niece wasn’t invited and they felt so affronted by this that they sort of tried to wangle her into the wedding anyway, by having another uninvited person, the Best man’s MIL, hang around outside and catch the eyes of guests. Drawing their attention out and talking to them so it just made sense they be let inside.

Having in fact been ushered away from the event by staff and to a child appropriate area the child was sent upstairs and the MIL herself went down and tried to invade without the actually related person.

Having not been welcomed by the bride and groom they got very upset and derailed attention from the couple themselves and their celebrations onto talk about what is fair and what they should have done or not done on their own day.

Is that about the crux of it?

Edited

Someone got out of the wrong side of the bed

Thistlewoman · 09/05/2025 17:53

ChorltonCreamery · 08/05/2025 16:22

I am still kind of reeling/mulling on something I witnessed at the weekend.

About 8 years ago we went to the wedding of DH’s second cousin who was the groom. I distinctly remember the bride’s mother, a really lovely woman who went round making everyone feel welcome. No expense was spared, I think this is relevant but while my husband was fairly appalled at what happened he doesn’t think it’s relevant.

This couple now have a two year old and this groom’s brother got married at the weekend and previous groom was one of two best men.

My MiL said that there was upset that the child, the only niece wasn’t invited. Anyway even though we live in the city we stayed in the hotel for the weekend and so did the first couple and their little girl and her mother came along to care for the child while they were at the wedding.

After the wedding breakfast the mother and little girl were spotted in the grounds, my MiL and a few others went to see the little girl. Someone employed by the hotel kind of went over and tried to usher them inside and directed the grandma to a play area.

After first dance the groom’s sister in law disappeared and the brother came down with his mother-in-law who wished the couple well and she was given a drink by father of groom. The bride was eyeing staff and then another suited employee ushered the old lady out.

Sister-in-law then reappeared and told her husband what had happened, the brother and sister-in-law of the groom were outraged that her mother wasn’t allowed to join the wedding in the evening and left.

Mother of groom cried to my MiL and other cousins the next day.

Would you have allowed an old woman, your brother’s mother-in-law to stay in these circumstances? I would!

If you are not invited to a wedding, keep away. Personally I think that grandmother was taking the piss, rocking up clutching grandchild and expecting to to invited in. Manipulative, passive aggression.

Enko · 09/05/2025 18:04

JoyousEagle · 08/05/2025 16:42

The MIL was fine to take the child into the grounds (provided this area was open to any hotel guest, rather than reserved for the wedding?), she shouldn’t have had to stay in the room the whole time.
She shouldn’t have come to the reception though. But tbh if it was after the meal, I wouldn’t have thought it mattered enough to ask her to leave. It sounds like the mother (of the little girl) went up to put her to bed or whatever, and the MIL came down? I wouldn’t have done it, but honestly who cares at that point in the wedding.

Absolutely this.

Yerroblemom1923 · 09/05/2025 18:09

TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne · 09/05/2025 17:16

Non.
A lot of people don't understand.

None of the OP's other threads make sense, either.

Show quote history

Glad it's not just me. My brain is hurting so I'm stopping trying to make sense of it now! Someone was/ wasn't invited to a wedding throw a child in the mix, move said people about a bit. Wedding hokey cokey! And I'm none the wiser!

Sillyname63 · 09/05/2025 19:28

FFS what a horrible load of people on here and obviously the bride , the meal was finished this lady was not doing anything out of the way, dancing on tables, doing the conga around the room, being drunk and shouting about how horrible the bride and groom were for not inviting her DGD to the wedding she wasn't eating from the buffet, she was just being polite and friendly and would have probably left quietly after her drink, which was bought for her by the groom's father don't forget. Actually anyone can attend a wedding ceremony it is a public event, even in a hotel setting. But she didn't attend then but in that hiatus between the meal and the evening dancing.

EPN · 09/05/2025 19:48

So the mother in law had to look after the kid in the same hotel as the wedding but not go anywhere near it or be seen by anyone?

Flossflower · 09/05/2025 19:52

EPN · 09/05/2025 19:48

So the mother in law had to look after the kid in the same hotel as the wedding but not go anywhere near it or be seen by anyone?

She didn’t have to look after the child at the hotel. She could have looked after it at her own house which is what most people would do. I don’t know anybody who isn’t invited to a wedding who walks around outside the wedding or decides to gatecrash it.

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