Another parent has reported me to my DD’s school for comment in a WhatsApp group

[Wonderwallafterall]

Hi all,

A bit of an unusual/embarrassing one which I’d welcome your thoughts on.

I am in a Mum’s WhatsApp group with others from my DD’s class. It’s often a useful reminder for things needed the next day and has been used to organise parties/confirm attendance etc.

Usually, a few people will put something in there on a Friday/Saturday such as ‘enjoy your weekend’ and often accompanied by a photo of a glass of whatever they are drinking.

Weekend just gone, someone put a photo of their drink whilst in a bar and said they’d just seen one of the teachers from the older years in there too.

He’s somewhat attractive, let’s just say, and a couple of people replied to that along the lines of ‘no photo of him?!’ and ‘I bet you won’t be leaving in a hurry’.

A friend of mine then replied with something a bit more ‘colourful’ and I followed up with something similar. In my defence, I was drinking and a bit carried away - when I read it back the next day I was mortified.

Anyway, one of the Mum’s left the group and to cut to the chase, I’ve since learnt she has reported the comments to the school. She is usually quiet in there and mainly keeps herself to herself IRL too.

Am I overthinking this but surely other than me being suitably humiliated if the teacher ever learns of what was said, I’ve not actually done anything wrong as commenting on a teacher is not a crime?

Ach I wouldn’t worry about it. Schools have enough to deal with, than pay any mind to some wine drinking mums saying they’d like to shag the teacher!!

Well if it's anything like that 3 thread saga the other day when a teacher made a comment to a parent out of school, and the parent made a massive deal out of it, you might need to look out for police involvement, OP!

I wonder if you'd feel the same about drunk dads letching over a female teacher in a WhatsApp group making 'colourful' comments?

I doubt you'd describe it in the same twee way for a start.

Do some mums have nothing better to do than to tattle tale on what other mothers are lightheartedly saying on an evening out at the weekend? One thing’s for sure: I’d be steering very well clear of this other mum. I’m so glad what’s app hadn’t been invented when my DC were at school!

Bloody hell! School mum WhatsApp groups are even more bitchy and pathetic than the groups the actual kids are in. Some people never leave the playground 🤦🏻‍♀️

I can imagine all the staff winding him up about it… unless the school’s quite strict? Or unless he’s “mega fit” then the staff might not say anything because they’ll be thinking the same 😂 I wouldn’t worry about it though, just hide and avoid during Sports Day x

DS’s primary made it very clear that parent WhatsApp groups were nothing to do with the school, and nothing said on them was the school’s business.

My immedient thought was this was the reverse of that thread 🤣

I must have missed that, but I’m intrigued (and rather worried!) now so will try to find it 😂

Maybe she thought about the teacher bending her over the desk 🤔🤣

Have you deleted the embarrassing comment from the chat?

Oh no, I really wouldn't recommend it! 😂

I agree that this is very inappropriate—and this would be obvious if the sexes were reversed. I don’t think the issue is mumsnet hypicrisy though. Its that it is inappropriate for customers to/parents to comment about a teacher snd sexualize them while they are on or off duty. OP got caught up in a group grooe situation. This should be a good time to remember that these women and this whatsapp group are not friends. You can’t really let your hair down.

How ridiculous. I wouldn’t worry about it op, the other mums has made herself look a right tit.

How sad that schools are now having to disclose that they won’t be involved in parents WhatsApp disputes. Worse than the kids!!!

Yeah, but given the Mum left the chat and reported I’m sure she will have screenshotted first whilst they were still on there.

The Teachers will have a little giggle in the staffroom and that will be it.
What on earth has she reported you for? You’ve not done anything wrong.

It was entitled something like "annoyed about school's response to pervert teacher" and then the same with -update and -final update
It was batshit

But according to the women would never make such comments anyway so you're OK ;)

You sound like a bunch of schoolchildren yourselves.

But ye, the school won't do Jack shit
And sounds like the other mums were OK with it being as they were suggesting she took creeper photos etc

it’s not a crime.

many schools (primaries in particular) have parents who also work at the school - sometimes teachers or TAs or dinner ladies.

if I worked at the school I’d be really uncomfortable with those kinds of comments being made about someone I worked with.

a parents’s WhatsApp group has lots of people on that you inevitably won’t know and it sounds like you were way over the boundaries of acceptable comment.

school are very unlikely to actually do anything. The most they will do is have a quiet word (along the lines of if you have to letch over the teachers maybe not in a semi-public forum).

What did you actually say?

Look, it was ill advised, but not a crime. The other woman was ridiculous. I suppose now you've learnt about these kind of WhatsApp groups, these people are not all friends.

And the headteacher is doing an eye roll - at the woman who reported the comments. Jeez, she’s pathetic. Schools deal with far more important issues, as any teacher, myself included, will confirm. Relax OP.

People always say ‘Imagine if the sexes were reversed’ but I never think that’s especially helpful. Like it or not, the dynamic between the sexes is not the same - sexual comments from men to women carry a creepiness and threat that simply isn’t there when it’s the other way round.