Another parent has reported me to my DD’s school for comment in a WhatsApp group

[Wonderwallafterall]

Hi all,

A bit of an unusual/embarrassing one which I’d welcome your thoughts on.

I am in a Mum’s WhatsApp group with others from my DD’s class. It’s often a useful reminder for things needed the next day and has been used to organise parties/confirm attendance etc.

Usually, a few people will put something in there on a Friday/Saturday such as ‘enjoy your weekend’ and often accompanied by a photo of a glass of whatever they are drinking.

Weekend just gone, someone put a photo of their drink whilst in a bar and said they’d just seen one of the teachers from the older years in there too.

He’s somewhat attractive, let’s just say, and a couple of people replied to that along the lines of ‘no photo of him?!’ and ‘I bet you won’t be leaving in a hurry’.

A friend of mine then replied with something a bit more ‘colourful’ and I followed up with something similar. In my defence, I was drinking and a bit carried away - when I read it back the next day I was mortified.

Anyway, one of the Mum’s left the group and to cut to the chase, I’ve since learnt she has reported the comments to the school. She is usually quiet in there and mainly keeps herself to herself IRL too.

Am I overthinking this but surely other than me being suitably humiliated if the teacher ever learns of what was said, I’ve not actually done anything wrong as commenting on a teacher is not a crime?

God the pearl clutchers are out in full force today

Embarrassing definitely, but harassment give over!

I would change my name and adopt a disguise for parents evening I think.

Oh dear! 🙈

Never ever open WhatsApp if you’ve had even a sniff of an alcoholic beverage… that’s my rule!

This post made my day 🤣🤣. I do thing the message was extreme though, especially in this kind of space. School mums are really not your friends. Do keep us updated OP.

I'd find it quite flattering that they didn't see me as a frumpy middle aged mum and laugh about it. It's a comment, not a direct physical approach in an attempt to be sleazy.

Not gonna lie, it's a pretty grim comment. Some people would think trash and steer clear of you, but I don't think it needs reporting

Yes.. but I still don’t see why they’d be reported to the school.

I'd say a lot of the mums will be giving you a wide berth after that. Pretty vulgar and tacky.

Oh lordy

No

If it's creepy for a man to express sexual desire, it's creepy for a woman too

I've got the playground rhyme from my childhood going through my head now:

Tell tale tit
Your tongue's gonna split
And all the little dicky birds will have a little bit

Your comment was a bit much for my taste but I am massively cringing for the snitching mum. Why would you "report" something like that???

What a shitstirrer, heard all sorts on our WhatsApp, never felt the need to screenshot and report to school.

No it's not illegal but it's gross and creepy. You're mortified because people will now think you are gross and creepy. And totally uncouth. To avoid this horrible feeling in future, don't be gross and creepy 🤷

Lesson firmly learnt I can assure you!

I haven’t heard anything from the school, if it gets to the weekend and still nothing I’ll sleep easy I think.

DH finds it bloody hilarious which is the most annoying thing!

Really?? In the work place?
OK - agree to differ then.

WTAF is wrong with people! If you wouldn’t say it to the teacher’s face, they why the hell do you think it was ok to objectify and make crude comments on a platform as bloody public as a parent’s WhatsApp group.

The childish stupidity of some people beggars belief.

I agree. OP basically committed social suicide with this group of people.

EG personally I wouldn’t want my kids hanging around OP/OP’s kids cause I assume that is how they would speak and act and that other misguided judgements would occur.

It’s generally a trashy comment to make. I’m not a prude by any means, I’m in my 20s and have seen worse. But I think I would treat a parent group chat like a colleague group chat, and keep it plain and professional instead of acting like they’re my mates. Like with some groups of people you need a more formal approach, not everyone needs to hear every thought that pops in your head @Wonderwallafterall

@Wonderwallafterall hope you don't get in trouble, wouldn't want sir to have keep you back after school 😂

To be honest - I think the staff are more likely to be taking the piss out of whoever the grass is, they would where I work at any rate!

Ridiculous to be reported for that! All the mums fancied one of the teachers at my DC's primary - I think it was obvious to him and other teachers he had a 'fan club' - no-one got reported! Was a bit of harmless fun, he was married and at lest 10 years younger than us mums at the time (and I was one of the younger ones). If someone had seen him in the pub we would've all ooh'ed and ahh'ed as well (no WhatsApp in those days though).

Whilst I agree this is at the mellow end of the scale, these kind of groups can end up being really problematic.

We had all kinds of stuff going on in one at our school, "jokes" about "knocking out" one of the teachers and all sorts. It basically turned into a braying mob. It was pretty unpleasant and that got reported to our school.

People forget that a) social media like WhatsApp isn't a private forum - it's a group, it's public and b) you don't really know all the people in groups like this so why would you say these kind of things in that space

Save it for your actual mates - I would never express my true opinion on a school chat!!

Well.. what did you actually say??

Was it wildly innapropriate, like 'I wouldn't mind his face in my c##t, while I whip his hot arse with a ruler until its red raw'

or mildy innapropriate like 'oh, I wouldnt mind snogging him behind a bike shed'

Because the former probably would offend someone to the point of reporting and the latter, if reported is just someone being precious and twee.

Our school did ban the mums whatsapp group after some slanderous comments by some mums, and the teacher in question does have a right to feel safe at work. What is your opinion OP, did you cross the line or is this someone being ridiculous as only you know what you said?

Shock horror.. mum finds handsome man attractive and has a sense of humour.. Tell the mouse to fuck off

But it isn't the OP's workplace. It's coming to the end of the school year so she may never come into contact with that teacher again. If you apply your logic then people shouldn't say anything about anyone incase they happen to go into their workplace at any point.

Hold your head high and act like you don't give a damn. It was a comment and that's all. The pathetic mum who ran to the teachers sounds like the sort of woman most of us couldn't abide at school. You'd have thought trying to be teachers pet was something she'd have grown out of.

It would sound very ‘rapey’ if men said it because the very word rape is associated with a man penetrating a woman with his penis. When two women suggest doing rude things to a man it is a widelyheld notion that they don’t actually plan to abduct him and submit him to a sexual assault.

Gross comment. If I was in that group I couldn't look at you then same again! I think the loss of respect from other parents would be enough of a consequence so I wouldn't report, but wouldn't particularly want to be friendly with you either.