Another parent has reported me to my DD’s school for comment in a WhatsApp group

[Wonderwallafterall]

Hi all,

A bit of an unusual/embarrassing one which I’d welcome your thoughts on.

I am in a Mum’s WhatsApp group with others from my DD’s class. It’s often a useful reminder for things needed the next day and has been used to organise parties/confirm attendance etc.

Usually, a few people will put something in there on a Friday/Saturday such as ‘enjoy your weekend’ and often accompanied by a photo of a glass of whatever they are drinking.

Weekend just gone, someone put a photo of their drink whilst in a bar and said they’d just seen one of the teachers from the older years in there too.

He’s somewhat attractive, let’s just say, and a couple of people replied to that along the lines of ‘no photo of him?!’ and ‘I bet you won’t be leaving in a hurry’.

A friend of mine then replied with something a bit more ‘colourful’ and I followed up with something similar. In my defence, I was drinking and a bit carried away - when I read it back the next day I was mortified.

Anyway, one of the Mum’s left the group and to cut to the chase, I’ve since learnt she has reported the comments to the school. She is usually quiet in there and mainly keeps herself to herself IRL too.

Am I overthinking this but surely other than me being suitably humiliated if the teacher ever learns of what was said, I’ve not actually done anything wrong as commenting on a teacher is not a crime?

It wouldn't be my type of humour and I think you've really misjudged your audience when it's large group of mum you'll know o different levels.

However, reporting you is beyond batshit. I woud love to knowwhatvus expecting to happen as a result.😀

Not that unusual - happened to me several years ago. I was spoken to in the playground by the Headteacher and then in a classroom by the head of Reception. Was told my comments may amount to slander and had made other parents, who were new to the school, upset. I apologised and said I was only trying to be honest and helpful in a private forum and it blew over. I never knew who reported me but there is one mum who has never spoken to me since.

Me too

Dunno...Brunette? Long hair? Well made up? :). [When the Depute saw the friend request and photograph, he actually winced.]

The poor laddie was only in his early 20s, whereas she was old enough to have a teenage son.

The teacher had a queue of mums waiting for him that evening...she'd obviously decided that it was time to make a move.

That was exactly my point! Did you misunderstand me?

Don’t be worried, it was ridiculous. And parent’s WhatsApp groups have got absolutely nothing to do with the school, you did nothing wrong apart, these things are said all the time in RL, it’s just unfortunate it was written down.

No

If it's creepy for one, it's creepy for both

Else you're saying it's ok for women to be letches but not men and that gives men ammunition on why they can be creeps because it's unfair

Do come back and tell us how it goes when your child reaches this teacher's class op!!
Can't imagine the school getting involved - but you will probs be the talk of the staff room this week!

Oh lordy 🙈 I've got secondhand embarrassment 🤣

Just apologise to the WhatsApp group and the school, say you had one too many wines and you will turn your phone off on a Friday night in future!

wtf!!! I can’t believe the group gets this saucy. Also I’m outrageous but I wouldn’t say that in my class chat. Hahahaha good on you tho. Teacher must be hot AF

Oh dear! Mortifying!

It just shows you, you have to be really careful in WhatsApp groups because tell-tales live amongst us.

A friend of mine had a WhatsApp work chat (not official, just workmates) and she and another remarked the boss was useless and he was trying to employ his “fat cow” wife. Someone screenshotted and sent to boss. Friend and her friend were disciplined. Now, not very nice, but remarks that one used to make at the water cooler (or at school gate) are now in black and white.

No Vicky I didn’t. I was reinforcing your point about expectations from some members of the public and the fear of assumed omnipotence.

It’s pretty vulgar but I’m wondering what the school could actually do. Could it be sexual harassment if you’re just saying it and not to him? God only knows anymore. We’re one step away from the thought police.

It's not exactly a great comment - more of a think it, don't say it kind of thing - but she really is a little pathetic to go telling tales to a teacher.

I wouldn't worry about it. I'm a school governor and used to be a primary school teacher. We would have just pointed out that the whatsapp group is nothing to do with us, and probably gently ribbed the teacher in the staffroom about it. The most we would have done is add a note into the school newsletter about just being careful in WhatsApp groups because they're not private and conversations can be shared outside of it.

If pupils at the school find out what was said, this teacher is.in for a very hard time. You have completely undermined him.

If pupils start making something of it - like writing joke love letters peppered with lewd bits, slogans on the walls, calling after him in corridors-will end up in serious trouble because.schools have to crack down on harrassment.
.

Well it was a bit crude. Hopefully you've deleted it now.

I do always think it's sensible to switch the comment around and think that if a man said that about a woman would you still find it funny. If you wouldn't, then don't say it.

Also always remember anything you write down is there for everyone to see, even long after the event. It's not a conversation nor is it private.

I doubt anything will be said but if it is just apologise. It's not like you said something about not liking them or because rude about them. It was just a bit inappropriate and naughty.

Maybe this is a sharp reminder to consider the repercussions of what you put in writing sometimes it can’t be retracted
you can view it as a valuable lesson!

That's different

Workplaces will have a social media policy which will not allow such things.

We get reminded of ours every now and then when the work chat gets a little ... heated

I would definitely delete your comment asap in case someone shows one of the kids.

Both of those comments are really pretty inappropriate tbh.

😶‍🌫️🤯

Is it possible to delete whatsapps? I thought you could only delete it from your own phone.

Wow, that's quite the message. I'd have to take my child out of school and move towns!!

I can't imagine anything being done, maybe a polite reminder on the schools newsletter about school what's app groups being appropriate but even then I don't think that's the within the schools remit.

It’s completely inappropriate and I would imagine that if you were a man and the teacher was a woman you would probably be being accused of sexual harassment.

I doubt anything will come of it. And it's a lesson learned, school mums ( in most cases) aren't your friends. They are acquaintances and you don't know if they can take a joke or not or what's going to be gossiped about behind your back. I'd not have written something like that on a group with a load of school parents as it's a bit weird but I wouldn't have reported it either.