Another parent has reported me to my DD’s school for comment in a WhatsApp group

[Wonderwallafterall]

Hi all,

A bit of an unusual/embarrassing one which I’d welcome your thoughts on.

I am in a Mum’s WhatsApp group with others from my DD’s class. It’s often a useful reminder for things needed the next day and has been used to organise parties/confirm attendance etc.

Usually, a few people will put something in there on a Friday/Saturday such as ‘enjoy your weekend’ and often accompanied by a photo of a glass of whatever they are drinking.

Weekend just gone, someone put a photo of their drink whilst in a bar and said they’d just seen one of the teachers from the older years in there too.

He’s somewhat attractive, let’s just say, and a couple of people replied to that along the lines of ‘no photo of him?!’ and ‘I bet you won’t be leaving in a hurry’.

A friend of mine then replied with something a bit more ‘colourful’ and I followed up with something similar. In my defence, I was drinking and a bit carried away - when I read it back the next day I was mortified.

Anyway, one of the Mum’s left the group and to cut to the chase, I’ve since learnt she has reported the comments to the school. She is usually quiet in there and mainly keeps herself to herself IRL too.

Am I overthinking this but surely other than me being suitably humiliated if the teacher ever learns of what was said, I’ve not actually done anything wrong as commenting on a teacher is not a crime?

Yes my thought. Sounds suspiciously like a reverse of that post.

No the pp is right, the power dynamic is different.

Made me lol x

The obvious difference there is the teacher is held to a certain standard as part of their professional role, whereas a mum is, well, not.

Oh god, you’ll be dying inside next time you see him!

I just hope the comment you made wasn't sexually graphic and involved being bent over a desk or your employer may be contacted. Watch out for the comments saying you can't be trusted around young boys too lol

Why are there never any dads in these groups I hear about? I find that pretty unreasonable personally.

Why would someone show that message to their child?

I’m assuming this is Primary school, but even if it’s secondary I can’t imagine why you’d let your child know that Charlie’s mum wants to sit on Mr Watson’s face 😵‍💫

Who are these tell tale tits? Fancy going to the school with this. I’d be embarrassed to go snitching. The comments may have been rather fruity, but they weren’t cruel or untrue or in any way harmful to the “hot” teacher.

Why though? Are people not allowed to say they find someone attractive?

Reported for what? What does she expect the school to do about a WhatsApp group that is nothing to do with them? I mean, regardless of the inappropriateness of the comments, the school can’t control how you talk to other parents at the weekend.

Wanting to sit on a man’s face is a bit more extreme than saying someone is attractive.

@Wonderwallafterall there’s a lot to be said for turning your phone off when drinking.

Yeah that’s a pretty gross comment. For group WhatsApps, my rule of thumb is don’t say anything you wouldn’t want on the front page of The Times/Guardian/Daily Mail (delete for preferred rag of choice). This wouldn’t pass this test I think…

My child is in year 6, I left the wattsapp group in year 3 hideous all of it.

Exactly!! Especially the comment OP made! Imagine the uproar on here if a man had said that!

I bet he jumps up like a jumping Jack to offer his seat on busy days in there 😂

But they imply sexual assault. If two men were sending messages about a woman suggesting ‘stick your cock in her mouth’ or ‘shove her in a car and get her into bed’ it would sound really rapey. It’s just not an acceptable thing to say. Despite all that though, I’m not sure why anyone would report it to the school. It really is nothing to do with them or for them to be policing parents WhatsApp groups.

Why do people on MN have no sense of humour? I bet you're fun at parties. It was a joke, she didn't proposition him to his face🙄

I’m not surprised that was reported. Disgraceful!

Me too! 😆😆😆

A similar situation happened in a group when they were chatting about a deputy head! It got reported and he was quite flattered at the mums interest in him,he chuckled! Sadly the mums in question and even 2 grandmas totally bypassed the fact he was married to my son and was gay!!!!! These things happen a lot and the staff usually take then on the chin and with good humour OP x

How would you feel if you got wind of such a discussion about yourself by people you know in a professional capacity? It would make me feel very uncomfortable.
My sense of humour is absolutely fine.

We had a WhatsApp for volunteers for a charity. One of the volunteers reported a conversation on there about the board/management/redundancies to the charity management. What a Toadie! She got booted off the WhatsApp group.

I think it should be private.

I don't think it's appropriate at all. My ex husband had an affair with a teacher at my DSs secondary school and everyone knew about it. Even my son found out. That was highly inappropriate too.
Keep school groups strictly school business IMO.

I’m no prude but if I saw that on a mums WhatsApp where I didn’t people that well I’d be shocked. It’s very crude. I’d not leave the chat or report it though.