Friend forgot my child's birthday

[Mrsbattenburg]

My close friend forgot my childs birthday last month and I feel so disappointed and not sure how to handle?!
She messaged me at the weekend just a how are you text, so I replied back and mentioned it was my child's birthday and she still hasn't replied. No sorry I forgot or anything. Makes me so angry as I always remember her children's birthdays, send text, get gifts etc

She always on facebook, posting 100s of photos of her children, but can't even spare 5 minutes to reply to my message and apologising.

I’m sure she will write back apologising.

personally I wouldn’t expect any of my friends to remember my kids birthdays, and they definitely don’t. They all message later on in the day if I’ve put pictures on social media. They all apologise (even though I don’t think it’s needed), and one buys a present and we get it a few weeks later when I see her.

I would try not to let it bother you. She won’t be forgetting on purpose, she’s just busy with her own life.

I had a best friend. We were inseparable. Always remembered kids birthday both sides until I had twins. She changed towards me (hey not my fault my body produced 2 babies) Wished all my children a happy birthday apart from the twins, completely ignored the fact they existed. Snubbed their first birthday party she didn’t even reply to my invitation. Went on for 2 birthdays. We are no longer friends.

This thread is baffling. People don’t have to ‘remember’ birthdays - there are such things as calendars or diaries. How do people ‘remember’ dental appointments or any other occasion?

It’s all bullshit that people don’t ‘remember’ or that people have ‘other stuff’ going on. They’re just excuses for the lazy and can’t-be-arsed selfish.

If she cared, she’d have wished your kid a happy birthday and if she was a real friend she might even have got him a card or a little bag of sweeties or something. I suspect she’s not really a friend. Just a cling on who cares more about her dumb Facebook pictures.

People remember their own dental appointments because they’re important. They don’t remember other people’s dental appointments.

Other people’s birthdays aren’t high up most people’s list of priorities.

I’m shit at birthdays. I’m a good friend, but never remember birthdays and I’m shit with cards.

Wouldn’t bother me at all.

Thats horrible, you cant go around labelling people “lazy” and “cant be arsed” and “selfish”! People remember their dental appointments/Dr appointments because they are THEIRS, they would not remember a friends dental appointment! I posted earlier that I forgot my SIL’s Birthday one year, I was in the middle of a severe nervous breakdown with a baby and a toddler and did not have the mental capacity to think outside my own anxious bubble. I am NOT selfish, I am NOT lazy, now that I am well and my own kids are older I am completely on the ball, but even if my SIL had ever needed anything, or in an emergency, I would have been there in an instant, even in the middle of a nervous breakdown. My friends never remember my children’s birthday , they have their own lives, but we love each other dearly and could never imagine holding a grudge on one of them for something so small.

Did your child notice and become upset?
If not does it matter?

My own parents forgot my birthday as a child, a sibling forgot when I was an adult
My parents friends, mums cousins etc never bothered with my birthday growing up, I didn't care since they weren't my friends

My mum has forgotten my birthday before, I managed to get over it. No offence but your friend probably has other things going on in her life to remember your child's birthday so I wouldn't read too much into it

I never remember my best friends kids birthdays and likewise for her. We are busy mums with careers and our lives are hectic. No idea why you would have an issue with this tbh. We focus on having an amazing time when we get to get together/meet up and do something.

Me too. I have also forgotten my own age and thought I was the wrong age for a whole year.

Stop sending birthday texts / cards / gifts for her kids. If she asks you why those have stopped just say I thought we weren’t doing birthdays anymore as she didn’t remember dd’s birthday.

Even if she says she wants to start doing birthdays again, say no.

Has happened to me too. Bought friends childrens presents for years but then when I had children they never did. It is what it is and I suppose it depends on how close they are to you and your child/children.

Only in case it helps - my first gut reaction was she may be upset to not have received an invite ? - to a birthday tea or playdate if there was no party ? Then when the invite didnt come and the date passed she asked if you were ok ? And you answered I have been busy with the birthday - Does that sound possible to explain no answer to your message back ? Hope it works out

I have to be reminded every year of the dates of my nieces and nephews, I know the months but that’s it. Sometimes people have a lot of things going on and birth dates are not the top priority in brain space.

You don't have some form of diary?

I don’t expect anyone to remember my DDs birthday except me! Maybe she wants to dial back from all the gift giving? Just let it go. It’s really not important.

it's a non issue surely. what reaction did you expect?

I get that your child is important to you but not sure 'how to handle' the fact that she forgot it? Seriously? this is some batshit nonsense...