Friend forgot my child's birthday

[Mrsbattenburg]

My close friend forgot my childs birthday last month and I feel so disappointed and not sure how to handle?!
She messaged me at the weekend just a how are you text, so I replied back and mentioned it was my child's birthday and she still hasn't replied. No sorry I forgot or anything. Makes me so angry as I always remember her children's birthdays, send text, get gifts etc

She always on facebook, posting 100s of photos of her children, but can't even spare 5 minutes to reply to my message and apologising.

I do not expect anyone other than grandparents to remember children's birthday, i don't buy presents for all children i know other than close ones and no I would not text someome about my child's birthday

Then too you can ease yourself of the burden of buying gifts and remembering her children's birthdays too. It will be much easier for both of you.

I wouldn't worry too much.

It's probably just not important to her.

Is she a good friend otherwise?

Why would you expect your friend to remember your child's birthday?

Yes, it's nice when that happens, but I can't imagine being upset about it

I wouldn’t take it personally , some people are more on this stuff than others. Has she always done gifts previously? I wouldn’t continue with gifts if she isn’t planning on doing it herself but if it’s a one-off error I’d let it go.

I don’t get messages though, it’s not her birthday!

I only remember peoples birthdays if there is an invite to go with. Did you not have a party?

Oh lordy. I don't know when my friends kids birthdays are and have never sent a card - unless it was in conjunction with a party invite when they were younger.

Doesn't mean I don't care about my friends.

Sorry typed that in a hurry...I'm not angry just disappointed she hasn't texted back to say sorry and wish him a happy birthday! I would if that was me! But maybe I care too much and try to make an effort.

I remember one of my friends accusing me one year of forgetting her son’s birthday. I reminded her I was at the bloody party helping her dishing up food. (FYI I was purely there as a helper. I have no children so wasn’t like they were invited). Her response was well it must have been the year before then. I reminded her of what I bought him. She said well it must have been the year before that then. She was just adamant that I’d forgotten one year. She had my trawling through messages to check if I’d wished him happy birthday or sent a card and present. Ridiculous. Thankfully we’re no longer friends. I cannot be dealing with the hassle.

I mean honestly who gets bothered about things like this. I don’t even care if someone forgets MY birthday. It really isn’t a big deal unless it’s your own child who you forget!

I probably am being over sensitive, so good to hear..

It just gets to a stage where it’s too much remembering birthdays. We’ve all busy lives, it’s enough to remember our own children’s birthdays, parents, siblings, nieces/nephews and close friends birthday’s. Then there’s an expectation sometimes to remember the birthday’s of friends children. It’s just too much and too time-consuming.

Going forward, don’t buy presents for children of friends. Just one less task to take care of.

I had children later than the vast majority of friends. Consequently, for years I sent cards/presents/text messages wishing their children happy birthday/Christmas. Very, very few do the same for mine now I have them. They are lovely, kind people but I’ve realised lots of people just don’t have the bandwidth to keep up with every man and their dog’s birthday and that’s ok. They remember mine and that’s the most important thing 😆 With kindness, OP, let this go.

Maybe it doesn’t register with her as anything to apologise for? It wouldn’t with me. I have no idea whatsoever when my friends’ children’s birthdays are, apart from my godson’s.

Maybe she’s angry and disappointed that she text you and in your reply, you took the opportunity to get a dig in that she missed your child’s birthday. A little bit graceless of you.

I could just about tell you the month of my friend’s children’s birthdays, but that’s about it. I genuinely feel your expectations are far too high. I can understand feeling upset if a grandparent forgets, but I hate to break this to you but your children’s birthdays just don’t mean as much to other people as they do to you. It’s an “oh it was their birthday, how nice” sort of occasion for them, but it’s not exactly an event to plan their life around.
If you don’t feel it’s fair just stop making as much effort with remembering her children’s birthdays. But you definitely need to chill out about it; life is far too short and has far bigger problems.

With respect, nobody cares about you're child's birthday as much as you do. Grandparents and family yes, but I've never known my adult friends to wish my child a happy birthday, unless their children have also been invited to the party of something. Likewise I don't really bother about my friends children's birthdays, if they post of Facebook I might add a HBDY comment.

It sounds like your child is pretty young? This really isn't worth losing a friend over or creating a fuss.

Honestly none of my friends remember my kids birthdays. Usually comment happy birthday if I post anything on facebook, and my oldest friend happens to share a birthday with my 1 year old. It doesn’t phase me.

My childrens two aunts have never wished them or me happy birthday either but that’s a whole other story, one lives throwing distance and has never met them 😂

But the birthday was last month? Not at the weekend?

It’s annoying as you usually both give gifts to each other’s children. I take this as my cue to stop.

I can remember the birthday of one friends child - he shares a birthday with me.
The rest of them - including his siblings - I don't have a clue.

My own family don’t send a happy birthday text or a card for their only nephew - my DS.

realised this year I always send them a birthday card and I didn’t even get a message from FB which prompts you to send happy birthday on their wall!!!

not gonna bother going forward.

Only godparents remember my children’s, and I’m the same. There are too many!

Yep, here we go again. Op is it the birthday or is it that all you do isn’t reciprocated. Suspect mainly the latter , if it is that’s your choice. The way women are taught to martyr ourselves doing everything for everyone and then getting hacked off when people don’t reciprocate.

my husband has had his birthday this week, very few cards he does not care he hasnt noticed , he’s not in this tit for tat situation.

maybe she’s absolutely mortified and trying to compose a message. You shouldn’t be friends though, this resentment can’t be good.