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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Do mean girls start so early?!

202 replies

Pamalarrr · 06/05/2025 11:58

DD is in Year 2 and her class and year is very girl heavy. There are 18 girls in her class.

DD is sensitive, a bit of a stickler for rules, hates getting into trouble etc. She's what I would call a typical 6 year old - she is one of the younger girls in the class with a summer birthday so not quite 7 yet.

The class has a group of 4 girls who are all share birthdays Sept - Dec. When the school has a non-uniform day they've been known to turn up in crop tops! My personal view is I think they look awful on 7 year olds and are far too old.

DD has a lovely group of friends, all very similar to DD. However, little comments have started creeping in from the older group of girls, particularly towards DD and another girl about how they wear there hair, babyish clothes they wear when they don't have to wear uniform etc. The ringleader pushes them out of the way, laughs at them and generally says unkind things.

The mum of the ringleader has accused parents of stealing her DDs school jumpers, shouted at the teachers when it was meet the new teachers accusing them of not being on it compared to the previous year group.

Whilst I suspect some of this behaviour is learned, is there anything else we can do to make DD more resilient? I didn't think this started so young. I want DD to be stronger than I was and to be able to stand up to girls like this.

Is this typical Y2 behaviour?!

OP posts:
CowboyJoanna · 08/05/2025 14:06

Eventmrs · 08/05/2025 12:49

My daughter was in a class like this and as she was a typical tomboy it did cause issues with the girly girls, especially when she used to get invited to the pamper session birthday parties.
My daughter found her people though and used to play with the boys and had lots of fun.
It has shaped her to be a very independent and open minded young lady who does not follow the trends and makes her own path. I am incredibly proud of her.

I must say though that the "girls" in her class were mean and called her a boy and all sorts of horrible things at times. I think they were jealous as all the boys invited her to parties and not them!. There was a lot of soul searching at the start though and that's hard as a parent.
Even the teachers hated the dynamic of that year group as the mean girls were horrendous at times and I was glad my daughter kept out of it all as the mean girls would fall out with each other constantly.

My youngest is an extreme tomboy (very short buzzed hair, boyish nickname, lifts her top over her hair and runs around screaming when she scores a goal). She hates the other girls in her class and one of the reasons is she cant be doing with the bitchiness and the prissiness. All of her friends are boys, none of the other girls like her which suits her fine

But after saying that, some of the boys she's friends with I would not be surprised if they collected a few asbos in a few years time. Its not bitchiness but its more physical and misogynistic bullying. One of her friends got his playtime taken away for calling a girl in the class a "sket" (let me remind you theyre in Year 2) and DD thought it was unfair because "the girl really was horrible" and he was just "standing up for himself". DD has been getting aggressive with her older sisters and brother and Im at my wits end, im trying to discipline her at home but she goes to school and ends up rubbing off from these nasty lads again and again and againSad

BestZebbie · 08/05/2025 14:38

Likaom · 07/05/2025 21:16

Just culture lovely play dates with the nice girls. Keep telling your daughter that she is amazing and not to get involved with the bitchiness. Empower her and her besties by keeping her friends close and sod the enemies! Maybe manufacturer a play date with the top bully and kill her with kindness. When she sees how cool your kid is at home, she’ll change her tune! They’re still very, very young and a lot can change. If they’re 2nd born or only child, they can play up because they’re spoiled, or don’t get enough attention at home.

Absolutely do not invite the main bully over for a playdate!

All you will be doing is opening up literally everything in your daughter's life as potential ammunition for mockery and sullying her safe space - if the bully even turns up at all.

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