To wish someone had acknowledged our anniversary?

[JustAMum31]

I’m not talking about a big fuss - just a “happy anniversary guys! Can’t believe it’s been a year already” message or something?!

It was our 1st wedding anniversary this weekend. Obviously this is an occasion for DH and I to celebrate rather than other people but AIBU to feel a bit sad that not a single family member or friend acknowledged it at all?

I always send a message wishing a happy anniversary for immediate family and close friends and have on numerous occasions offered childcare for those that I know struggle to get time on their own to allow them to have a meal etc if they want it. I wouldn’t expect this in return, we have never had family childcare and that’s fine. For big milestone anniversaries we usually send a card and maybe a small gift if appropriate.

But for us, not even a text 🥲

Only you and your husband with remember your anniversary.

We don't get messages on our anniversary unless we post about it on fb in which case people just write "happy anniversary" if we didn't post it though I doubt anyone would remember it was our anniversary because it was our special day not theirs, I don't remember anyone else's either so don't take it to heart, it's our 10 year anniversary this year so we will likely make a song and a dance about it to each other but I don't expect anyone else to as its personal to us and I doubt anyone else cares lol

My Dad was the only person who sent us anniversary cards.

He died last year and without his card as a reminder my husband and I completely forgot our anniversary this year. 😳

Most people won't remember.
Most people won't care.
Your children will feel obligated to send cards and buy gifts if you make enough fuss of it yourself.

I only remember two wedding anniversaries (other than my own) - one on May the 4th. (Star Wars fan) and the other was on my dad's birthday.

But for some of us celebrating someone else's anniversary is just weird. So it's not just not taking the time, I would actively not send someone else a message and was quite confused by the one card I received from one friend on our first anniversary.

The only people who know our anniversary are our two witnesses!

I don’t remember people’s anniversaries unless it’s a big one 25 years plus. Even then I would only remember if I had been invited to a celebration. IMO it’s really something for the couple themselves to celebrate/remember.

I also don't think it's really a thing to acknowledge other people's anniversaries, just your own.

This... at least for family and a first anniversary.

My Mum sends a card - MIL gives us some money which is lovely less nice is her need to then try and spend whole evening on the phone to DH.

I'm always suprised they bother - though they do with IL and did with parents - Dad died - to remember theirs. Wasn't expecting our kids to bother - we don't do much with it either.

20 odd years on there's one friend (no family) who sends a card every year, and it's not even someone we are particularly close to. I just find it a bit strange, if I'm honest.

Stop marking other peoples anniversaries.

I have a couple of friends who do that and it just makes me feel guilty for not having a clue when theirs is. It's hard enough to remember birthdays.

We nearly always forget even our own anniversary (33 years in August) and certainly wouldn't have the faintest idea when those of other people are, including family ones.

My parents were the same. My in-laws did bother with theirs sometimes but not massively either of

So, I think you need to lower your expectations. Why are you marking other people's anniversaries? Stop that. It probably won't even be noticed.

I think you're being a little butt hurt over this.

If you want people to remember and send messages, just put up a happy anniversary to us on Facebook or social media of choice and you'll find people in droves will comment.

But really in the end, none of this matters at all. Your anniversary is for you two alone.

I wouldn't expect people to remember when I got with my partner and we've been together 19 years this year.

I wouldn't take it personally. I adore my in-laws and they are the only people I know that get family members gifts on anniversaries. I used to get hacked off there was the expectation we had to get them money on their anniversary when it's their anniversary to celebrate not ours but that has died down now (big ones aside).

It wouldn't occur to me that other people should remember or celebrate our anniversary. I struggle to remember ours half the time, don't even think we did cards this year!

I always remember family and best friends anniversaries. A quick text or a card.

The only people who remember ours is 1) DM who has a diary with everyone's birthday and anniversary 2) our DC who love any reason to celebrate. We're having a silver wedding anniversary this year though so people will be forced to remember when they get their invite.

I wouldn't expect others to remember or acknowledge a wedding anniversary that isn't their own unless it's a close family member (parent/in laws etc) milestone anniversary of 25/50 years for example. Doesn't mean people don't care but honestly it's not a thing on other people's radar. Don't think myself or DP have ever had someone acknowledge our anniversary and we'll be celebrating 4 years married shortly.

Nobody validated me today
Oh dear, how sad, never mind.

I've never texted or sent gifts for anyone's anniversary, don't understand why I would.
At most I'd click 'love' on a post on social media if someone had a milestone anniversary.

Like a PP said, being in a relationship is not an achievement.

It's rare it's a 100% of people saying AIBU!

I agree, anniversaries are for the couple, nobody else. My mum sent DW and I are card on our first anniversary which was very kind. But she hasn't since and I wouldn't expect her to.

Love Mumsnet for a reminder of how different people are.

Genuinely surprised how many people don’t make an effort to remember their own anniversary and wouldn’t dream of sending a message/text to their child on a first anniversary.

I am not an overly emotional person but these are such special days to remember.

our 41 year old son would not have a clue when we got married and only ever knows it if my husband puts it on social media.

Yeah I agree with the others.
With respect OP, no one cares about your anniversary except you and your DH. There are enough birthdays to remember without trying to remember when everyone got married as well.

1st? Get back to me when it's your 25th and I might summon up a congratulations 😂