To have made a Sarah’s Law request? **Trigger warning: contains discussion of child abuse and other content that some may find disturbing**

[nyki]

More of an “have I overreacted” more than a “have I been unreasonable”.

Someone has made some strange remarks around my child. I’m not in a relationship with this person before anyone jumps on me, and they don’t have any access to my child anymore.

Remarks have been talking about rape, talking about my child’s “itty bitty cl*torous”, her “boobs” (she doesn’t have any, she’s a toddler). Bouncing her up and down “she likes that, like her mum” with a sexual overtone. There have been others similar, remarking on body/private parts in a sexual way. Family member hence why they were present at times when child being changed etc for context.

This person has already been confronted and would say that I can’t take a joke, my child doesn’t understand and thinks it’s funny basically. Hence why they aren’t around my child anymore.

So I’ve done a Sarah’s law application on advice of NSPCC. I’ve never been in this position before. It’s it an overreaction? With the type of job this person is in, I really doubt they have any offences against children, so I think it will come back with nothing.

Absolutely not an overreaction. Those are hugely disturbing comments.

No overreaction I think I have a pretty dark sense of humour but even that for me is too much. Who would joke about those kind of things with a toddler or any child for that matter 🤮 worrying that they are in a job which makes u assume they must have a clean record, hope thy don’t have easy access to vulnerable children or adults.

That made me feel sick to even read OP. Not an over reaction

Ugh no, those comments are awful. Nothing remotely humorous about them.

I would think of raising it with the Local Authority Safeguarding Officer if they are in any way involved with anyone vulnerable through their work.

What a weirdo. If he’s saying these things in front of people, then what kind of thoughts go through his head? 😳

Your doing the right thing

Oh gosh, sorry. I shouldn’t have assumed it was a man.

That is vile.

Even if nothing comes up, it doesn’t matter.

I always say this about DBS checks. Someone can be a peadophile and simply not have been caught. These checks should not be taken as everything being okay.

This isn’t even gut instinct as they’re so explicit with it. I’d be reporting to police so they have a record tbh.

Dreadful comments. Not an over-reaction at all.

You did the right thing 100%

It is a man, sorry I should have said.

I wouldn't think about it - I'd do it.

Wtaf so gross and inappropriate. Please report this to their work too if they work with any kids or vulnerable adults.

No, definitely not an overreaction. Please continue to keep this pervert away from your child. Also consider telling the parents of any other children that he has contact with, exactly what he has said.

You are most definitely NOT bu. Trust your instincts. In this instance, they’re screaming at you.

I hope you are able to have no contact with this person, regardless of what your request shows. As a pp pointed out, they may not have been caught yet, despite doing illegal stuff.

Completely disgusting and extremely inappropriate at every level. You have not overreacted.

Jesus, no overreaction at all. Those comments are disguising 😟

As much as I’d love to report to their work, warn others etc, I don’t have any proof of this because it has happened in my home. The only proof I have is when I have text friends and other family when some of the comments were made, because I was in shock and needed to tell someone. I would also be worried about being reported for harassment if I got in contact with their work.

I’d report to the safeguarding department if there job means they are around children. Even if if comes back clear he would never go anywhere near my child again.

That's disgusting. You haven't overreacted in the slightest, well done for keeping this creep away from your child.

In that case, report them to the police and let them investigate and inform their employer.

Well, I have told the police I suppose because I’ve had to put the reasons why I am making the application.
I’m not an expert but I’m not sure that making remarks like this is a crime? So what would I be reporting?

You are not wrong to have made the request, but I think you are right it probably won’t bring back anything. You have to be able to shut this family member out of your life and that of your child and unfortunately there will be some who act as if you are in the wrong.

Sounds like a paedo…