To have made a Sarah’s Law request? **Trigger warning: contains discussion of child abuse and other content that some may find disturbing**

[nyki]

More of an “have I overreacted” more than a “have I been unreasonable”.

Someone has made some strange remarks around my child. I’m not in a relationship with this person before anyone jumps on me, and they don’t have any access to my child anymore.

Remarks have been talking about rape, talking about my child’s “itty bitty cl*torous”, her “boobs” (she doesn’t have any, she’s a toddler). Bouncing her up and down “she likes that, like her mum” with a sexual overtone. There have been others similar, remarking on body/private parts in a sexual way. Family member hence why they were present at times when child being changed etc for context.

This person has already been confronted and would say that I can’t take a joke, my child doesn’t understand and thinks it’s funny basically. Hence why they aren’t around my child anymore.

So I’ve done a Sarah’s law application on advice of NSPCC. I’ve never been in this position before. It’s it an overreaction? With the type of job this person is in, I really doubt they have any offences against children, so I think it will come back with nothing.

thus is really disturbing and he shouldn’t be alone with any children.

Vile, disturbing comments. Not sure why you need to check if your response is appropriate.

Not an over reaction at all. What an absolute creep!! You e done the right thing OP.

Why wouldn’t you be able to stop them seeing your child?

Unless it’s the father of your dd, there can not be any reason this sicko has access, ever. You certainly couldn’t leave her with someone who’d allow him access.

your daughters fathers father I assume? I’d be going no contact. That’s a really REALLY perverse thing to say and I’m not easily shocked.

No you haven’t, it was my reading comprehension fail. You said ‘first grandchild in the family’ and I mistakenly thought you meant your grandchild, but I’m guessing you mean it’s an older relative.

I think you were right to have done the information request and to have your concerns. This person needs to be kept away.

I was trying to be vague but yes, it’s the other parent. I’ve not been in a relationship with this person since I was pregnant, and they’ve mostly been absent. I have entirely stopped contact since.

I don't think in all my 41 years I've ever even heard someone mention a babies cl.....wtf. it's quite chilling.

Whoever this is in relation to your child doesn’t matter. Never ever let them near you or your dd again. They are a predator. No normal adult makes remarks like that.

I work with nonces, the shit I have to listen to

He’s defo a nonce and you’ve done the right thing. Make sure he never has access to your child

I think you're right to stop contact. If he bothers to come after you for contact, I would tell him flat out that you don't trust him and his behaviour is suspect. Let him tell a family court what he said, and how it's just a joke. Thing about a joke is that it needs to be funny, and none of that was funny.

You must be an incredibly strong woman, @Fourstarsoutof5!

How do you wind down?

Would also report to the police in case he tries to gain access in the future.

What is his job??

It’s heartbreaking honestly. I’m thinking of leaving the profession, keeps me awake at night

This is something I would report to the police, I would also report via the NSPCC and see if you can self refer to SS for support regarding this. I would also refuse any contact unless court ordered, that includes contact supervised by you.

In that case, you 100% have to report this in some way to the Police to have on record.
Every single comment.
If he’s ever near you/baby again, record everything.
If he ever demands access, you’ll need the Police reports to lean on as reasons why he is an unsafe person.

You cannot allow him/anybody who may be “on his side” unsupervised access to your daughter.

You’ve done the right thing x

Dark, dark stuff.

Report to police. Change name, change town, whatever it takes.

Is he on the birth certificate? If not, that’ll delay access if he tries. I’d definitely speak to the NSPCC for advice. His comments are highly abnormal.

The checks won't come back as showing anything in all likelihood if he already has to have an enhanced dbs check for his job.

This person is vile, the comments are revolting, you absolutely did the right thing

P.S just with what others have said - report it through 101 so they have it in record.

I can assure you these aren’t harmless “jokes”. Only paedos say things like this and it escalates to CSA very quickly

The comments are gross but that’s a leap.

So I’ve done a Sarah’s law application on advice of NSPCC.

For anyone that missed this and is suggesting reporting to the NSPCC.