To have made a Sarah’s Law request? **Trigger warning: contains discussion of child abuse and other content that some may find disturbing**

[nyki]

More of an “have I overreacted” more than a “have I been unreasonable”.

Someone has made some strange remarks around my child. I’m not in a relationship with this person before anyone jumps on me, and they don’t have any access to my child anymore.

Remarks have been talking about rape, talking about my child’s “itty bitty cl*torous”, her “boobs” (she doesn’t have any, she’s a toddler). Bouncing her up and down “she likes that, like her mum” with a sexual overtone. There have been others similar, remarking on body/private parts in a sexual way. Family member hence why they were present at times when child being changed etc for context.

This person has already been confronted and would say that I can’t take a joke, my child doesn’t understand and thinks it’s funny basically. Hence why they aren’t around my child anymore.

So I’ve done a Sarah’s law application on advice of NSPCC. I’ve never been in this position before. It’s it an overreaction? With the type of job this person is in, I really doubt they have any offences against children, so I think it will come back with nothing.

Have they ever been around your child alone? This is awful.
I would definitely report to the police and not let them near your child ever.
That's just so weird . Noone normal speaks or thinks like that

I don't offend easily but these comments are terrible and not normal.

You can report anonymously to the local safeguarding hub your concerns.

Firstly, well done you. That can’t have been easy to do but you’ve listened to your gut and done something about it. Not many people would do that. Your daughter is lucky to have you ❤️
and secondly, someone said previously, remember that even with a clean record, people can be devious

That’s disgusting you did the right thing

You have not overreacted. I made a request for much less. I was visited by someone who took a note of all my concerns, they didn't make a disclosure to me but did investigate further based on my reasons for the disclosure.
What has been said is absolutely vile, I actually do think there could possibly be a crime there. I'm no legal expert but I think talking about a child's 'tiny' sexual organs to the child could come under child sexual abuse. Exposing a child to porn is sexual abuse and this doesn't feel far off .

This may be one of the worst things I’ve ever read on here

Id never let him near your DD again, consequences be damned

Make any reports you feel might help keep him out of reach, and good on you for protecting your baby

Hugely concerning. This person isn't even tying to hide what they are.

I woild be reporting to the police. Even if they don’t do anything it’s on record

is he on the birth certificate? If so I would be telling him to go to court for access. Then you can say why it’s no

You have done the right thing.

I want to vomit reading that. Not an over-reaction. I wonder if you’ve under-reacted. I would be keeping away from this
person. Completely.

Of course it’s a bloody man 🙄

It’s not a leap to assume that was what was on his mind, whether a replay of past events or anticipation of future ones. The phrases he used are sickeningly direct leakage of his sexual fantasies and intentions regarding small children. At the very least, the fact he’s so open about saying such shockingly bizarre and socially unacceptable things suggests he’s spending a lot of time in online environments where this is totally normalised.

This is one of the darkest things I’ve read on here, OP. Do anything and everything you need to do to prevent him ever having unsupervised parental access to your little girl.

Is this a close relative? You need to cut him out of your child's life immediately, no matter what the Sarah's Law check comes back with. His remarks were disgusting and definitely sexual towards a toddler.

Will other members of your family support you or will they support him?

@nyki I would also report this to a solicitor in case he decides in the near or distant future that he wants a relationship with her!!

Revolting. Yanbu.

I nearly vommed up my dinner. Not a joke, it could never be a joke. You are right to withdraw contact and you can make whatever enquiry you wish. Absolutely not an overreaction.

You must report this to the police. If he tries for access in the future court will not be interested unless it was reported to the police at the time and you will have to hand your child over to a paedophile. Don’t assume that what you have already done is enough. You seem to be under-reacting to this and it could put your daughter in real danger.

Very disturbing. They would never be near my child ever again.

Report to the police. Do what you need to do to protect your child.

Chris tho, not an over reaction.

i would have also contacted the LADO, social services and the police.

He's sexualised a toddler and verbalised it to you, her DM.

He's poison. Stay well well away.

Please file for full custody. I’d absolutely report this to keep my child away from this freak. No normal man would comment on his baby like this. I want to throw up from reading it.

Oh gosh OP, I can’t believe this is your poor daughter’s father. You’ve done the right thing stopping contact and trying to get more information. What was he like as a partner to you? What is his job?

Oh god, it's your child's dad? You need to keep a record of all the things he has said, with dates and times, and you should consult a family solicitor about how you would deal with any requests for contact.

If he is saying these things in company, goodness knows what sort of things he says and does behind closed doors.

Oh my god that makes me feel sick & very angry too just reading what you've written.
I think I would have punched this person once I got over my absolute complete shock.

Never ever let this pervert see your child again.

You've done the right thing in putting a Sarah's Law request in & PPs have given good advice too.