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Original poster

To think it's normal for post-pubescent children to not want to holiday with their parents?

253 replies

JamieCannister · 05/05/2025 11:36

I understand that everyone is different, and that there is no right or wrong. But, am I being unreasonable to suggest that it is perfectly normal, by the age of circa 13 to 16, dependent on the individual, to NOT want to go on holiday with your parents / siblings ever again?

You ARE being unreasonable - people who hit adolescence and want to avoid holidays with their parents are weirdos or anti-social (or are victims of deeply abusive families).

You ARE NOT being unreasonable - it is perfectly normal to hit adolescence and want to live your own life with your own friends and not be forced to spend a week or two solid with your parents or siblings ever again.

OP posts:
ShinyAppleDreamingOfTheSea · 06/05/2025 14:02

JamieCannister · 06/05/2025 07:55

See, that is what I think is 100% normal (even if it is also normal for kids to love holidays and be more than happy to have mum and dad pay for family one.

I am curious to know the average age of pro-family holiday posters on this thread. I am sure that teens in reasonably well off families go on family holidays more now than they did 40 years ago, and that this is partly down to money, and partly down to attitudes - in the 1950s, 60s, 70s it was much more common for parents to say to kids at 16 or 18 "you need to pay your own way now", which means kids in the 80s and 90s got a watered down version of that attitude, whereas now that attitude has gone (or rather, it has gone amongst the sorts of families that can afford holidays.)

I wear I had no agenda when I posted this thread, but I am going to make an argument based on what I have read.

This thread is very good evidence that parents are treating their kids like children for longer, and that as a result of upbringing kids lack independence now compared to back in the 90s, or 70s or further back. I include me and partner in this.

Normal is to fight to grow up post-puberty, fly the nest, have fun, settle down, and then appreciate family again more when you have kids yourself.

As a 13/14 year old I had very little desire to hang with my parents. As a 15/16 year old I wanted to hang with my friends, hang with my girlfriend, buy records, go to gigs and go to festivals. Two weeks in Spain with nothing but sun, pool, beach and immediate family - 0/10 in comparison.

Show quote history

LOL! You won’t have it that your experience isn’t the only normal will you? Re ‘parents treating their kids like children for younger’, you are probably right that there are more young people attending university now than in the 70s, and that in the absence of grants, they are relying more on their parents for funding. Not the case for all though - my DS was working at 17, moved in with his partner at 19, but he still likes to spend time with us, including holidays.

If you are actually reading what many posters are saying, life with teens is different nowadays and shared interests between teens and their parents isn’t unusual. Life has moved on since you grew up. You perhaps also need to consider that there are many more ways that people holiday now than there were years ago, and it is common for people to have more than one holiday as internet bookings and low cost airlines mean people can do more short breaks, meaning that young people (17+) can get away with their friends, their partners and also their families.

Original poster
JamieCannister · 06/05/2025 14:05

ShinyAppleDreamingOfTheSea · 06/05/2025 14:02

LOL! You won’t have it that your experience isn’t the only normal will you? Re ‘parents treating their kids like children for younger’, you are probably right that there are more young people attending university now than in the 70s, and that in the absence of grants, they are relying more on their parents for funding. Not the case for all though - my DS was working at 17, moved in with his partner at 19, but he still likes to spend time with us, including holidays.

If you are actually reading what many posters are saying, life with teens is different nowadays and shared interests between teens and their parents isn’t unusual. Life has moved on since you grew up. You perhaps also need to consider that there are many more ways that people holiday now than there were years ago, and it is common for people to have more than one holiday as internet bookings and low cost airlines mean people can do more short breaks, meaning that young people (17+) can get away with their friends, their partners and also their families.

Show quote history

I am not going to read beyond your first sentence unless you wish to apologise for not bothering to read what I said.

My post that you quoted started with the words "See, that is what I think is 100% normal (even if it is also normal for kids to love holidays and be more than happy to have mum and dad pay for family one.)

How you can then say "You won’t have it that your experience isn’t the only normal will you?" when I have LITERALLY AND CLEARLY stated that both experiences are normal?

Truly astonishing.

OP posts:
Original poster
JamieCannister · 06/05/2025 14:10

BlueCase · 06/05/2025 12:54

I have to say, I think I am a pretty good parent but also good and engaging company. We do holidays that we all enjoy. We are going to NYC next week with the adult kids (20 and 22). We have always chosen to have holidays which roughly catered to all our wants and needs and liked hanging out together. It’s quality time which is harder and harder to get as they get older.

Are you worried about your kids not wanting to spend time with you in the future OP? Is this what it’s about?

Not at all - I want him to be happy and independent when he is older. I don't particularly care how he gets there. It would be nice if he did what both his parents did which was to move back closer to our parents as we got older.

I can certainly say that I did not have a kid as a replacement for, or upgrade on, friendships. I do not rely on my son to have things to do.

OP posts:
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