Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think it's normal for post-pubescent children to not want to holiday with their parents?

253 replies

JamieCannister · 05/05/2025 11:36

I understand that everyone is different, and that there is no right or wrong. But, am I being unreasonable to suggest that it is perfectly normal, by the age of circa 13 to 16, dependent on the individual, to NOT want to go on holiday with your parents / siblings ever again?

You ARE being unreasonable - people who hit adolescence and want to avoid holidays with their parents are weirdos or anti-social (or are victims of deeply abusive families).

You ARE NOT being unreasonable - it is perfectly normal to hit adolescence and want to live your own life with your own friends and not be forced to spend a week or two solid with your parents or siblings ever again.

OP posts:
LittleBearPad · 05/05/2025 11:39

I would be surprised and disappointed if my 14 year old didn’t want to come on holiday with us - what on earth is so bad about a family holiday!

There is also no way they would be allowed to stay home so it’s rather academic what they’d want.

Gizlotsmum · 05/05/2025 11:39

Haven’t voted as I think you are being unreasonable but not because teens wanting to avoid family holidays is because they are weirdos. It depends on the family. My teens come on holiday with us, they help chose where and when we go. I went on holiday with my parents until my late teens and do so now we are all older.

HollidaySunshine · 05/05/2025 11:40

You’re being far too dramatic with the voting but I think it’s really unusual not to want to go at that age.

MrsPinkSky · 05/05/2025 11:41

Blimey, what's with the chapter and verse vote manipulation?

It's perfectly normal for kids to want to do either.

My parents allowed me to bring a friend along from when I was 12+.

EleanorReally · 05/05/2025 11:42

i think once older they are wise to the fact that someone else is paying

BlueskyCherrytrees · 05/05/2025 11:42

Neither or your options are right, and there’s plenty of room in the middle. It entirely depends on both the child and the family.

BlondiePortz · 05/05/2025 11:44

Who are you trying to convince

Syuni · 05/05/2025 11:44

I think many teenagers like to go on holiday with their families. It is a sign of a close knit, well functioning family unit imo.

mynameiscalypso · 05/05/2025 11:44

I was always happy to go on holiday with my parents + sibling when I was a teenager. They were paying after all!

Snorlaxo · 05/05/2025 11:45

Surely it depends on the holiday and if similar aged people like cousins or friends are there ?

Considering how many teens post holiday photos on social media, I think they enjoy holidays but don’t want to admit it because they are often cynical

I can imagine many holidays where teens would have fun eg going to Japan, shopping in NYC, surfing on a Spanish island … but it has to be the right holiday for the right teen

Echobelly · 05/05/2025 11:45

I think most will take the free holiday, but since our oldest turned 15 they started to say they might prefer to spend time with their friends. They are coming this year for summer because we're going somewhere they really want to, but they stayed home when we went for a short break in Wales last year as they wanted to revise for GCSEs and see friends.

Bonsaibaby · 05/05/2025 11:45

I can’t vote for either. My teens and now adults have always wanted to come with us and they’re not weird, neither would they be weird if they didn’t want to. But holidays have always involved things they like too. They’re independent and go on holidays themselves too.

NuffSaidSam · 05/05/2025 11:46

I think most school-age teens still want to go on holiday with their family.

Older teens would probably prefer a mates holiday (but even then would probably enjoy a family holiday if Mum and Dad are paying).

YABU

MmeChoufleur · 05/05/2025 11:46

Ours didn’t want to come on holiday with us when they were teens (in fact the boys didn’t want to go anywhere with us). We still made them come in their younger teen years.

Now they’re in their 20s they enjoy holidaying with us again, after a period from maybe 16/17 to 20/21 when they stopped coming altogether.

Original poster
JamieCannister · 05/05/2025 11:46

BlueskyCherrytrees · 05/05/2025 11:42

Neither or your options are right, and there’s plenty of room in the middle. It entirely depends on both the child and the family.

That is why I made absolutely clear in my first sentence... "I understand that everyone is different, and that there is no right or wrong"

I am not making any sort of claim about what is best, or what is more normal. I am simply asking whether people agree with my assertion - it is perfectly normal for a child to hit adolescence and not wish to ever go way on holiday with their parents or siblings again, because they are growing up and wanting to live their own life (with their own friends and their own possessions, and not with their parents 24/7 for a week or two)

OP posts:
emmatherhino · 05/05/2025 11:46

I was still going on holidays with my family at 17/18/19...& they were the best holidays because I could sit and have a drink with them and enjoy that change in relationship from child to adult. My eldest is almost 14 and he's excited about the holiday we are going on int the summer!

I still go on holidays with my parents now and I'm 40 soon!

MermaidMummy06 · 05/05/2025 11:46

Well that depends. I know of at least two that are now 18 & expected to work for their money, that have found a new passion for holidaying with their parents... who pay. They've realised it's expensive to travel.

Mrsttcno1 · 05/05/2025 11:47

If at 13-16 your kids have decided they don’t want to go on holiday with you then I’d be having a real think about where things went wrong. I have an amazing relationship with my parents, in my 20’s now with my own children and have got a holiday booked altogether for next year. I’ve always loved our holidays together and they’re some of my most special memories.

My husband stopped wanting to do anything with his parents very young, they aren’t nice people and weren’t nice to be around, once he realised that he had no interest in doing things together.

The holiday stance was symptomatic of the overall relationship in both instances.

Vroomfondleswaistcoat · 05/05/2025 11:47

I'd also say it depends on the holiday and the child. I refused to go on holiday with my parents and brother when they went to Pompeii because I wanted to go riding and to some shows with my friend and I have regretted that decision ever since I became an adult interested in history (but we did have a great summer with the ponies!)

Original poster
JamieCannister · 05/05/2025 11:48

MmeChoufleur · 05/05/2025 11:46

Ours didn’t want to come on holiday with us when they were teens (in fact the boys didn’t want to go anywhere with us). We still made them come in their younger teen years.

Now they’re in their 20s they enjoy holidaying with us again, after a period from maybe 16/17 to 20/21 when they stopped coming altogether.

I am now much older. I would much rather go on holiday with my dad or sister now compared to when I was 15. I still don't want to go on holiday with them!

OP posts:
DrMadelineMaxwell · 05/05/2025 11:49

My eldest stopped wanting to come on holidays at 21. Because she doesn't like the fuss of the prep and fuss of travel.

My youngest loves holidays at 21 and she and I have great trips together.

SharpLily · 05/05/2025 11:49

There's no way I could have faced a family holiday in my teens, but that was because we were NOT a happy, close knit family and I hated being around my parents (father in particular) any more than necessary. Frankly none of us enjoyed spending any time together. However I believe that if we were a different kind of family then it wouldn't have been a problem, regardless of friendships and my own life.

Original poster
JamieCannister · 05/05/2025 11:49

Syuni · 05/05/2025 11:44

I think many teenagers like to go on holiday with their families. It is a sign of a close knit, well functioning family unit imo.

I agree. That doesn't contradict my assertion that it is entirely normal for teenagers not to want to, including teenagers in fairly close, loving families.

OP posts:
HereForTheFreeLunch · 05/05/2025 11:49

I haven't voted because it's a bit of both. We have done family holidays and continuing now they are young adults but also have left them behind when old enough (not 13/14).

The ones they enjoyed during teens was if they had friends coming too - either a friend coming with us or a few families going together where the kids are friends too

Scarlettpixie · 05/05/2025 11:53

I don’t think it is normal for teens to not want to go on holiday with their family no. That’s not because they are weird. More likely because they are not being consulted or their interests are not being taken into account. Some people have fixed ideas about what a holiday should look like. I have just been on a city break with my 18 yo and we had a blast. We have done a bit of everything over the years from camping to all inclusive. I guess it may be hard to please everyone in a big family.