DH said he's leaving because I'm having another drink

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I have just hosted all my in laws 8 adults and more children, including my own 4 under 5! Full roast dinner, made it, cooked it, cleaned it, cleaned entire house before and looked after everyone. No one else did anything really other than DH carving the meat. I have filled everyone's drinks ho5 and cold. Fed dn a snack by hand. Bf one of my dc and now after they have left I have opened another bottle of wine and said this one is mine. DH has said if I drink it he is leaving. Aibu to tell him to crack on as I have had enough!

The title of her post literally says that her DH is threatening leaving because she is having another drink. If I picked up a bottle of wine and said "this one is mine" DH would laugh because he'd know it was a joke.... because he knows I wouldn't drink a whole bottle to myself at home.

I already said she shouldn't have had to run around after everyone. But that reaction from her DH doesn't come out of nowhere. If she doesn't have an issue, why on earth would he have said that?

The long backstory of being a martyr to justify drinking is very, very familiar to me.

It’s clear she’s acting the martyr. Why take on all that work herself with no help from anyone? That was a choice. I’ve seen others do this. Shoo others from the kitchen and refuse all help or offers from others to cook. Drink the entire time and play the martyr. It’s not nice to be around.

As much as I agree it’s the same poster, that’s extreme and unwarranted. MNHQ are not going to invade someone’s privacy to reassure you that it’s the same person.

How much effort/ work you have put in today has got nothing at all to do with this situation.

If:

1. you are opening a bottle of wine after the end of a family social/ celebration/ gathering finishes to have it all to yourself
2. Your husband says he’s leaving if you do this

.. this highlights that your drinking is a problem. We don’t say ‘alcoholic’ these days - it’s too black and white and people get hung up on whether they are or not. It’s not helpful. We say ‘alcohol use disorder’ these days and it’s a spectrum. A helpful guide is ‘If your drinking is causing problems for you or anyone else’. If your husband is at the point that he’s threatening to leave over your drinking then it’s safe to say it’s a problem for him. Your drinking is problematic.

Having a hard day hosting for a family event is one thing.
Rewarding yourself with a whole bottle of wine all to yourself when you have 4 children under 5 is a stupid thing to do and a bit of a give away OP.

What is your motivation for hosting and catering for 8 adults and extra children with a roast dinner all by yourself without help.
Were you coerced to do it?
Did you want to host them, -did it give you pleasure to cook and wait on their needs as well as look after your own children?

Did you do it to point score with your DH or somebody else?
Did you do it for the reward of a bottle of wine with no questions asked?

Jesus Christ

Wow... Did you actually read my post? I think there's little chance of an ex problem drinker (me) judging another one ! We do tend to know how the script goes when we're in denial, however. You think you're helping here, but your advice is detrimental.

Yeah this sounds familiar to me

This, exactly.

I notice Op has barely been back to answer any questions. We are definitely not getting the full picture here and her reluctance to give more details combined with what she has said leads me to suspect there is a drink problem.

Must be their twin.

Of course! 🙄

Help with the cooking or help with your drink problem?

I'm guessing they were talking about the whole bottle she was planning on sinking solo?

She drank the bottle. Of course she’s gone.

It’s strange that this thread is almost identical to the other one’s scenario - cooking dinner for in laws etc (never mind the same children count). What is it about near identical threads (or identical) coming up more than once but with different dates? I don’t know enough about the workings of MN to know why.

Yes, you "assume" OP said it as a "joke", but where in her posts does she say this? Clue: she doesn't.

I've been accused of reposting similar myself, and it derails the thread, people accusing you of being a troll. What's more is I'm seeing it on every thread I read, "you've posted this before". If MNHQ can say that that isn't the case here, the thread can continue. It isn't an invasion of privacy to check an ip address. They do it all the time looking for PBPs.

You have no idea if OP has a problem with drinking. You have just assumed. So yes, I call that judgemental- quite literally leaping to a judgement.

MNHQ have confirmed that this lady is genuine, and is not the same as the recent thread, and I'm happy with that.

look at what we do know.

OH said leaving because having another drink. So already been drinking.
Has taken an entire bottle of wine.
Stated not sharing.
Is breast feeding.

Clues are all there.

Excellent! Now people can stop wrongfully accusing her!

MNHQ have actually told you she’s not the same as the previous poster?

I’d be genuinely amazed. I can imagine they would confirm it’s a genuine poster. But genuinely amazed they went on to say it’s a different poster. Wow.

I'm not sure I follow what you're saying.

Well the judgey pearl clutchers were out in force for this one weren't they... 🙄

The OP asked if she was being unreasonable.

People have answered, giving the opinions, as she asked.

Not sure that is 'judgy' - it is answering the question asked.

This is AIBU, not a topic area where you can only answer if you think the OP is faultless and to be agreed with whatever information they give.