DH said he's leaving because I'm having another drink

[Swimswimmswimswimswim]

I have just hosted all my in laws 8 adults and more children, including my own 4 under 5! Full roast dinner, made it, cooked it, cleaned it, cleaned entire house before and looked after everyone. No one else did anything really other than DH carving the meat. I have filled everyone's drinks ho5 and cold. Fed dn a snack by hand. Bf one of my dc and now after they have left I have opened another bottle of wine and said this one is mine. DH has said if I drink it he is leaving. Aibu to tell him to crack on as I have had enough!

Well if you've not been drinking all day then I don't see why you shouldn't have some.
The fact he's pissed off must mean you've been drunk around him and acted annoying in the past? Otherwise he's being unreasonable.

I guess to say you'll drink a whole bottle of wine really quickly, it might make you get too pissed to have a proper conversation in his eyes?

Was he drunk himself when he said it?

Only you can say if you think you've got an issue with drinking. Or if you've just got a husband issue.

What possible reason could the husband have for announcing he'd leave if she drinks a bottle of wine unless there's an ongoing issue here with the OP's drinking? All the stuff about nobody helping is utterly irrelevant - that wouldn't affect the husband's reaction.
The OP clearly thinks that if you've worked hard it's acceptable to get drunk to some certain degree. The husband clearly disagrees. Unless we know what the degree of drunk that the OP thinks its acceptable is, and how often she does it, we can't say which of them we agree with. Two glasses of wine once in while I think the majority would be with her, two bottles every day will maybe tip the scale the other way.

No reason from what she says to assume she's not been drinking all day.

I was just coming back to say this, it's really familiar.

Missing the point...but why didn't anyone help / you ask people to do stuff?

You've not told the full story. I grew up with an alcholic and it was a nightmare. If that's you, sort yourself out.

I am guessing this isn't an occasional glass of wine on a bank holiday weekend.
How often are you having bottle of wine?
Is it affecting how you are with him and the kids?

Yeah, it is missing the point.

Fair enough. If she is already drunk then he's got more of a point for sure.

Exactly. And the fact she hasn't responded says a lot.

You have posted about this before.

www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5275987-dh-not-happy?reply=142226434

OP, this used to be me, so really resonates. I used to hate feeling like Dh was judging or trying to police what I drank. Even worse when I felt like he was drinking my wine and I felt like he was doing it out of spite so I wouldn’t have enough.

As it turns out, he wasn’t the one drinking all the wine. It was me. I just drank it so quickly that I’d forget i drank it. He was genuinely worried about me, because I was drinking way too much much, not just being a controlling dickhead.

Sundays were always especially bad, as I’d start drinking at 11am when I put the roast on and it would continue until I ran out at 10pm. Bank holiday weekends, it would continue through all of Monday.

I’m 2 years sober now and everything is so much better. It doesn’t have to be like this.

Well you're DH is an arse if he's not lifted a finger beyond carving the roast. But that's not the point. The point is if you drink tonight he'll leave.

Do you intend to drink a full bottle of wine by yourself this evening? How much have you already drunk today? What happens when you get drunk usually? What impact does your binge drinking have on your DH and your kids? How do you behave when you're drunk? How do you expect to feel tomorrow morning? How's your overall health? Is he worried for you? Or doesn't want to deal with drink and hungover you?

But since you're so resentful, why didn't you say this morning "If you don't do half of the prep, cooking, child wrangling, hosting and cleanup then I'm... (insert your consequence here)"? Or just not do any of the wifework and leave it to him to arrange

Former alcoholic here.
I'm three years, three months sober.
I was overwhelmed with my DC and unwell elderly parents.
There is help if you want it. I'm over on the alcohol support thread.
Most of our number have used online support such as SMART.
I was lucky my husband didn't leave me.

No good comes of rotting fruit in water (booze) It's addictive and can cause such misery. I lost my younger brother, he left three girls. Please think about getting some help.

I might get flamed here but …. Your inlaws and all the adults who attended sound shit.

They should have been able to top their own drinks up. They should at least have offered to help clean up/ dry some pots/put them away etc.

I’d be mortified if I went to a family members house and just sat on my arse whilst 1 person was run ragged cleaning up after everyone, cleaning up and serving drinks whilst also parenting 4 young kids.

Enjoy your wine and tell your H to shut the door on his way out!

@Swimswimmswimswimswim , Your thread sounds almost identical to one I read a while back . Have you previously posted a similar thread? .
I agree with other posters , if you are planning a whole bottle of wine and still BF i can understand your husband concern, and it would also explain why you haven't come back to update the thread . .

Do you mean, 'this bottle is mine '?

Had you drunk anything else today?

I put you are being unreasonable for doing all that…..
Don't ever do that again…
Enjoy your wine

Probably because she's putting all four to bed...

Definitely this!

Hard to say without his side of the story. Are you drunk in charge of a small breastfed baby? Do you have a drink problem? Not saying you are either of those things, just wondering if you can clarify for the sake of judgement.

You’ve got a problem with the drink. You’re the problem here. Help is out there

Drinking a whole bottle is unhealthy - bingeing is far harder on your liver, and alcohol isn’t an effective way to relax as it effects the quality of your sleep that night. Your post sounded a bit whiney to me tbh - sorry, but that’s my view. Your husband’s reaction was a bit OTT but if you regularly drink that much then maybe he’s a big fed up with it, which would be fair enough. Look at the situation with honesty - only you know what has really been going on.

Get into a taxi and spend the rest of the long weekend at a hotel.

when you get back tell him to shape up or ship out and next time you host anyone he can do all the work just to have a taste of what it's like.

YANBU OP and ignore all the judgy comments about breastfeeding x