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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Friend not talking to me because I shared a photo from her Wedding

660 replies

ByTidyHare · 04/05/2025 16:53

I attended my best friends wedding a few weeks ago. The day after, I posted some photos to Instagram which were mainly of me and my DP, with one of them of myself and my friend.

This was posted in the morning and on the same afternoon, my friend messaged me to ask I took it down as she didn’t want any photos posted from the day. I said of course and removed it. Before the ceremony, there was an announcement not to upload anything to social media which I assumed related solely to the ceremony and as we were quite near the back, I didn’t take any photos of this anyway. The photo of my friend and I was taken later that evening.

My friend went on her honeymoon soon after. I learnt from another friend whilst she was away that she was really upset with me for uploading the photo and that it ruined her reveal of the day/dress with professional photos as people would have seen it on my page for the few hours it was uploaded.

I didn’t want to message my friend whilst she was still away so I waited until she returned. I apologised, said I was horrified and that I’d mis-understood the instructions thinking they only related to the ceremony.

She replied to say she was still really upset and that I took away the reveal which she’d only have one chance to do in her life and she can’t believe I ignored her wishes. I again apologised but she hasn’t spoke to me since and I’ve learnt from another friend that she doesn’t think she will forgive me.

AIBU to think my friend is now over reacting or is her reaction proportionate?

OP posts:
deeahgwitch · 04/05/2025 17:22

Charmeleon33 · 04/05/2025 16:55

I can understand her being annoyed (especially since you were specifically told not to share anything and did so anyway) but she should get over it eventually

This💯
But if you were specifically asked why did you not comply with your best friend’s wish ?

Peaceandquietandacuppa · 04/05/2025 17:22

I think you were out of order to post a picture of her in her dress when they said no pictures.

But she is also being very unreasonable to assume anyone but her (and maybe her parents) care about a reveal on her socials!! She’s acting like an influencer 🤣

Just allow some time to pass. Then put feelers out with friends for what to do next, should you wish to try and resolve it.

AlexisP90 · 04/05/2025 17:22

Fine for her to feel annoyed but you've apologised and you didn't intend any malice when doing it so she really should get over it.

If she's willing to lose you as a friend over this then you are probably better off

Brefugee · 04/05/2025 17:23

aw come on, folks. We all know that someone invests time into keeping their dress secret and enjoy the reveal.

how much does it hurt anyone not to steal someone's thunder when they ask you not to?

Original poster
ByTidyHare · 04/05/2025 17:24

To clarify

-I assumed the announcement related solely to the ceremony due to how it was worded

-The day after my friend posted photos of it online, every single one of her bridesmaids did individual posts (pretty much at the same time) with several different photos of my friend in so it’s not that she didn’t want people posting her. It’s just that she wanted to be the one to do the first post.

OP posts:
Suedelfinoofwisterialane · 04/05/2025 17:24

If these people that have seen the dress mattered to her they would have been invited to the wedding

loropianalover · 04/05/2025 17:24

DublinLaLaLa · 04/05/2025 17:15

This isn’t a rule! The first photo uploaded of me at my wedding - admittedly over a decade ago now - had me looking like a bulldog chewing a wasp. Honestly, I looked like I was about to chin the person who took the photo! (I’m not an aggressive person in the slightest) I just thought it was funny! Yes, there were far nicer photos but this is the ‘social’ bit of social media. Lean in or opt out.

Show quote history

It is a rule. Nobody puts up pics of people when they have asked them not to. This specific couple literally made a whole announcement about it too.

For what it’s worth I think the friend is being OTT at this stage, but we don’t know the dynamics of the friendship. Maybe OP has form for things like this. OP has also claimed to not be an avid social media user yet she was straight to socials to post pictures the next day? OP also says the bride is her best friend but doesn’t appear to have been in the wedding party.

ButWhere · 04/05/2025 17:25

Who would she be revealing it to? People she didn't invite to her wedding? Why would they care?

AnAlpacaForChristmasPleaseSanta · 04/05/2025 17:25

BeesTrees · 04/05/2025 16:57

Bloody hell, is she a celebrity? Was she planning on revealing it in Ok! Magazine or Hello for big bucks? Because if she’s not, she just sounds like a bridezilla who you are better off without.

Horribly off topic I know, but is this still a thing?
Just realised I cannot remember the last time a huge hyped up celebrity wedding took place and was covered exclusively by OK/Hello. Maybe The Beckham's or Catherine ZJ & Michael Douglas but that's all going back a bit. I guess maybe the rise of camera phones & social media has killed it all a bit.

Back on topic, your friend is being a twit OP. You've apologised and explained it was a genuine misunderstanding and she should get over herself and move on. But I wouldn't hold my breath on that happening.

NannyPlum7 · 04/05/2025 17:26

What? It’s not a rule. You can’t just decide something is a rule and therefore everyone must comply.

You can not like it and be annoyed about it all you like. But it’s not a rule because a random person has decided it is. A lot of people don’t give a shit about social media .

outerspacepotato · 04/05/2025 17:26

"there was an announcement not to upload anything to social media"

Anything. You ignored the instructions and the bride is rightfully pissed off at you. FAFO.

loropianalover · 04/05/2025 17:27

Brefugee · 04/05/2025 17:23

aw come on, folks. We all know that someone invests time into keeping their dress secret and enjoy the reveal.

how much does it hurt anyone not to steal someone's thunder when they ask you not to?

I agree 👏🏼 for all we know the brides strong reaction to this could be a build up of OP doing similar things in the past.

TroysMammy · 04/05/2025 17:27

Surely the people at the wedding would have seen her in her wedding dress or was she wearing something else for the ceremony and "the dress" was a ta-da moment just for social media likes?

YearlySubscriptionRenewal · 04/05/2025 17:27

Brefugee · 04/05/2025 17:23

aw come on, folks. We all know that someone invests time into keeping their dress secret and enjoy the reveal.

how much does it hurt anyone not to steal someone's thunder when they ask you not to?

what reveal? Surely that's during the actual wedding?

Commonsense22 · 04/05/2025 17:27

AnAlpacaForChristmasPleaseSanta · 04/05/2025 17:25

Horribly off topic I know, but is this still a thing?
Just realised I cannot remember the last time a huge hyped up celebrity wedding took place and was covered exclusively by OK/Hello. Maybe The Beckham's or Catherine ZJ & Michael Douglas but that's all going back a bit. I guess maybe the rise of camera phones & social media has killed it all a bit.

Back on topic, your friend is being a twit OP. You've apologised and explained it was a genuine misunderstanding and she should get over herself and move on. But I wouldn't hold my breath on that happening.

Show quote history

Well Beckham junior's wedding was in hello as was Simone Biles' to name a couple I can remember in the last few years.

Goody2ShoesAndTheFilthyBeast · 04/05/2025 17:27

Well, she did ask people not to post photos of the day and last time I checked, the day meant the whole wedding day.
So yeah, you just decided that the request didn't apply to you.

I think she's being precious with the whole reveal thing tbh but it's what they wanted and you should have respected that. She was crystal clear in her request so I can only assume that you wanted to go against it for some reason and so pretended that when she said "no photos to social media of the day" that she meant some photos of parts of the day.

PatsFruitCake · 04/05/2025 17:28

loropianalover · 04/05/2025 17:00

The rule is to not share pictures until the couple themselves have shared them. And they specifically made an announcement about same.

I’d be annoyed with you too OP, I’m sure she’s thinking it was thoughtless at best and deliberate at worst. But you’ve said sorry and removed the pic, you can’t do anymore now.

What rule? I've been to two weddings in the last twelve months and there were no announcements of this type because the brides aren't precious idiots.

OP your friend sounds like very hard work, if she doesn't get over it, it doesn't sound like she's much loss as a friend. Thankfully I can't imagine anyone I'm friends with behaving like this.

Jadorelabrador · 04/05/2025 17:28

Charmeleon33 · 04/05/2025 16:55

I can understand her being annoyed (especially since you were specifically told not to share anything and did so anyway) but she should get over it eventually

This. Mine is different I have not showed any photos of my wedding on SM as I am Nc with my family. Posting a picture of her in her dress is a bit off if you were asked not to do this beforehand!

Grapewrath · 04/05/2025 17:28

Being honest I never upload photos of a wedding (or baby) until the bride or mum has posted themselves. It’s just an unwritten rule. You were particularly unreasonable as they’d already asked that no photos were shared on socials.
Your friend is being a bit precious, yes, but you went against her wishes so I can understand why she’s annoyed

ChateauProvence · 04/05/2025 17:29

Hilarious- who does she think actually cares about her dress? Surely the people that matter saw it at the wedding?!

Digdongdoo · 04/05/2025 17:29

The "reveal" to who exactly? Surely anyone who would remotely care was at the wedding?

borisjohnsonsforgottencondom · 04/05/2025 17:29

I’m on the friend’s side here. I had a very small, low key wedding and everyone sent me all the wedding pictures they took without any going on social media. I didn’t have this as a rule, but it was great as I could pick a lovely selection and post them to friends/colleagues who weren’t there but still wanted to see how the day went. I wouldn’t be angry if they had posted, unless I had said please don’t as only a dick would that.

Also, I wouldn’t post pictures of anyone without asking them, that’s always been a rule of mine as some people can be very sensitive to how they look in photos.

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 04/05/2025 17:29

We wanted to be the first to share pictures of our wedding on social media so requested no one shared photos until we had. DH and I then took a nice selfie before the wedding breakfast and posted it.

If someone had gotten there before us, I’d have been disappointed but would never have fallen out with anyone over it. You’ve apologised and taken it down so she needs to get over it.

TomatoSandwiches · 04/05/2025 17:29

I thought it was just good manners to not post a picture from someone else's wedding until they had already done so.

I don't understand how you got confused about what she meant, it seems very clear to me but also she should accept your apology and get over it imo.

IveGotAnUnusuallyLargePelvisISwear · 04/05/2025 17:30

If she doesn’t have kids already she’ll be insufferable when she’s pregnant/gives birth. She’s done you a favour really. Imagine her on her honeymoon, having literally just got married to presumably the love of her life, still brooding over the fact you “ruined the big reveal of her dress and shit”. Poor groom.