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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Friend not talking to me because I shared a photo from her Wedding

660 replies

ByTidyHare · 04/05/2025 16:53

I attended my best friends wedding a few weeks ago. The day after, I posted some photos to Instagram which were mainly of me and my DP, with one of them of myself and my friend.

This was posted in the morning and on the same afternoon, my friend messaged me to ask I took it down as she didn’t want any photos posted from the day. I said of course and removed it. Before the ceremony, there was an announcement not to upload anything to social media which I assumed related solely to the ceremony and as we were quite near the back, I didn’t take any photos of this anyway. The photo of my friend and I was taken later that evening.

My friend went on her honeymoon soon after. I learnt from another friend whilst she was away that she was really upset with me for uploading the photo and that it ruined her reveal of the day/dress with professional photos as people would have seen it on my page for the few hours it was uploaded.

I didn’t want to message my friend whilst she was still away so I waited until she returned. I apologised, said I was horrified and that I’d mis-understood the instructions thinking they only related to the ceremony.

She replied to say she was still really upset and that I took away the reveal which she’d only have one chance to do in her life and she can’t believe I ignored her wishes. I again apologised but she hasn’t spoke to me since and I’ve learnt from another friend that she doesn’t think she will forgive me.

AIBU to think my friend is now over reacting or is her reaction proportionate?

OP posts:
BucketFacer · 04/05/2025 17:01

I'm a bit 🤨 that you didn't understand the instructions, seems pretty obvious to me. But to end a friendship over it is ridiculous.

IAmTheLogLady · 04/05/2025 17:02

Ffs.
Yanbu. What a massive over reaction. She had the big reveal when she walked down the aisle.
I would have thought most people would have posted something on social media the day after without thinking about it tbh.
I get from the ceremony or speeches on the day.
If she's letting this upset her she needs to enrol is a resilience work shop.

tripleginandtonic · 04/05/2025 17:02

Well.she asked not to post photos of her and you ignored her. I wouldn't dream of posting photos of a bride/ newborn/graduation before they'd had chance to, it's just basic manners.

NannyPlum7 · 04/05/2025 17:02

I cannot bear a couple who think that they can dictate shit like this. I think it’s really cheeky. I’ll post what I like on my own social media.

BethDuttonYeHaw · 04/05/2025 17:02

It ruined her reveal 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

what a self absorbed drama llama she is. That is hilarious. Do people really behave this way?

maximist · 04/05/2025 17:02

She’s batshit.

WhereIsMyJumper · 04/05/2025 17:03

Has she sold her oh so precious wedding snaps to Hello magazine or something 🙄

Throwitawayagain · 04/05/2025 17:03

The Reveal?
I have been to many weddings and seen even more wedding photos. The only dresses I can even vaguely remember are from when I was bridesmaid and was actively involved in picking the dress and dressing the bride!
No-one gives a fuck about photos from a wedding they weren't even invited to.
Your friend is nuts. You have been very gracious. Do not continue to indulge this nonsense.

SunshineAndFizz · 04/05/2025 17:03

I would be annoyed too, especially if I specifically said don’t upload photos.

But agree she’s being way over the top.

Dweetfidilove · 04/05/2025 17:03

This is why you don't post pictures of others without their permission.

You were out of order, but she also sounds like an idiot. Big reveal 😃. Kmt- I love a wedding album, but no one except the people there or in the photos is that invested 🙄.

Itisjustmyopinion · 04/05/2025 17:04

Basic wedding etiquette is to not upload anything until after the bride and groom does (same for any major life event, engagement, baby etc)

What is worse is that you were told and still did it. Someone above said the bride has main character energy but to me it’s more that the OP is - got to get that picture up and be first to do so

Nothing about being precious or a bridezilla, it’s just being polite and let the bride and groom have their moment

But considering MN hates weddings and anything to do with them, you will be told that are not being unreasonable. Personally I just think you were quite daft doing something most people know not to do and your friend is pissed about it. How long she keeps it up for will show if she is being unreasonable or not

Purplecatshopaholic · 04/05/2025 17:04

Jeezo. Talk about mountain-out-of a-molehill, bridezilla, over-the-top batshittery nonsense of the highest order. Seriously what is the world fucking coming to. Who apart from her, gives a flying fuck about her dress. Honestly I can’t believe people these days. Op, if she’s that precious, and ‘can’t forgive you’ for this most heinous of crimes, I’d seriously forget this friendship..

Acc0untant · 04/05/2025 17:04

One day, years from now, she'll realise nobody else gives a shit about a social media reveal.

Surely all her important friends and family were there in person? It's quite pathetic she cares about whatever the other acquaintances think enough to want to do a proper reveal.

nadine90 · 04/05/2025 17:04

I can see both sides. I personally think the whole “reveal” thing is OTT and a bit precious, but would respect the wishes of the couple if this was stated. You’ve apologised and took it down, nothing more you can do. It really shouldn’t be friendship ending, and she’s not much of a friend if it is

YourFunnyTiger · 04/05/2025 17:04

Weddings are like kids parties.
No one gives a shit. Tell her to get over herself.

Didimum · 04/05/2025 17:05

What a diva. I couldn’t be bothered having a ‘friend’ like this.

TidyDancer · 04/05/2025 17:05

I probably wouldn’t have posted a photo with her in until she’d done it herself but that’s more because I don’t like photos of myself being posted full stop. She is being completely ridiculous! A reveal FFS. Surely if anyone was that important to her then they’d have been at the wedding anyway!

She may well feel embarrassed about her behaviour a few weeks/months down the line and you find she comes back and apologises. It’s up to you if you forgive her at that point though. The arrogance that anyone online would care combined with the general main character energy of this bridezilla knob would make me consider whether I wanted her around!

Sirzy · 04/05/2025 17:05

She asked for no photos.

to me it’s the same as when someone has had a baby, you don’t share anything on social media until they have!

inkognitha · 04/05/2025 17:05

How many likes did the Reveal get?
So we can scope the true scale of the drama 😂

PrettyPuss · 04/05/2025 17:05

Who’d want a friend like that, anyway? Rest assured that noone cares about her wedding dress. The people who do saw it before her wedding or at her wedding.

BethDuttonYeHaw · 04/05/2025 17:06

Youcancallmeirrelevant · 04/05/2025 16:58

The usual rule is don't upload a photo of the bride until she has uploaded herself.

Saying that she is being a bit OTT to still be annoyed

Is it? really?

I’m 50. I’ve been to a few weddings in my time and have never heard of such a rule.

ginasevern · 04/05/2025 17:06

What the fuck is a "reveal". Dear christ, social media has reduced grown adults to petulant 13 year olds - especially women. But if she said don't post pictures, then that's clearly what she meant.

Sortofdontwantto · 04/05/2025 17:06

People like this exist? In the wild? Fuck me, she’s not a friend.

MeanMrMustardSeed · 04/05/2025 17:06

You should have been a bit more self-aware with posting the photos, but I think you might want to get yourself a better best friend with more of an interesting life and greater sense of the big wide world out there.

Didimum · 04/05/2025 17:07

Itisjustmyopinion · 04/05/2025 17:04

Basic wedding etiquette is to not upload anything until after the bride and groom does (same for any major life event, engagement, baby etc)

What is worse is that you were told and still did it. Someone above said the bride has main character energy but to me it’s more that the OP is - got to get that picture up and be first to do so

Nothing about being precious or a bridezilla, it’s just being polite and let the bride and groom have their moment

But considering MN hates weddings and anything to do with them, you will be told that are not being unreasonable. Personally I just think you were quite daft doing something most people know not to do and your friend is pissed about it. How long she keeps it up for will show if she is being unreasonable or not

It’s not the instruction necessarily, it’s that the OP has made a heartfelt apology and several weeks have now passed. Bride needs to get over it. Imagine ruining a special relationship in your life over this.