Friend not talking to me because I shared a photo from her Wedding

[ByTidyHare]

I attended my best friends wedding a few weeks ago. The day after, I posted some photos to Instagram which were mainly of me and my DP, with one of them of myself and my friend.

This was posted in the morning and on the same afternoon, my friend messaged me to ask I took it down as she didn’t want any photos posted from the day. I said of course and removed it. Before the ceremony, there was an announcement not to upload anything to social media which I assumed related solely to the ceremony and as we were quite near the back, I didn’t take any photos of this anyway. The photo of my friend and I was taken later that evening.

My friend went on her honeymoon soon after. I learnt from another friend whilst she was away that she was really upset with me for uploading the photo and that it ruined her reveal of the day/dress with professional photos as people would have seen it on my page for the few hours it was uploaded.

I didn’t want to message my friend whilst she was still away so I waited until she returned. I apologised, said I was horrified and that I’d mis-understood the instructions thinking they only related to the ceremony.

She replied to say she was still really upset and that I took away the reveal which she’d only have one chance to do in her life and she can’t believe I ignored her wishes. I again apologised but she hasn’t spoke to me since and I’ve learnt from another friend that she doesn’t think she will forgive me.

AIBU to think my friend is now over reacting or is her reaction proportionate?

I’m with your friend. It’s inappropriate to post pictures of someone’s wedding - with them in the picture - before they do so. It’s different if you took a picture of yourself and your other half/ a guest only for example. But bride and groom in the picture - no no.

Who's your friend 'revealing' her dress too exactly?! Surely all those important to her, attended the wedding, and saw her dress in person?! Is she a celebrity or an 'influencer', who needs to keep her millions of fans informed on Instagram?!!! I have never heard of anything so ridiculous. The important part is the vows she's making to her now husband, not professional photos of her taken in her wedding dress! If you were told not to upload pictures, I'm not sure why you thought it only applied to the ceremony, and nothing else. Common sense should have told you, that it applied to all photos, taken at any point during the day. You screwed up, and are clearly mortified you made an error of judgement. You apologised, there's very little else you can do. Your friend will get over her disappointment, in time and if she doesn't, then there's nothing you can do.

Weddings are a minefield these days.

@ByTidyHare I wouldn’t worry, your friend is being a drama Queen.

I can also understand why the bride would like to post a picture of her choosing to show her dress on SM.
I hate having my photo taken by other people and am not photogenic so I would have been the same on that score. If she doesn’t like the pic and it’s the first in her dress I can see why she’d be upset.

Well you did reveal her dress.
I don't use SM. I think it is ridiculous that ppl load photos at events for likes, just enjoy yourself. For those who do use SM it would be an issue.

Surely anybody remotely interested in seeing her wedding dress would have been invited. What a ridiculous woman.

Bet they're divorced by 2030.

Nepo baby Beckham, that's certainly a come down for the Hello readers.

Your friend is being an absolute twat

My thoughts exactly. I can’t believe that we -as a society - have become so deluded and narcissistic.

Unless she is a celebrity who had a deal with Hello for the picture exclusive then this is madness.

The big reveal is the wedding day!

The only people who would be remotely interested in the photos would’ve been at the wedding. I have never cared about seeing anyone’s wedding pix

someone needs to take this bridezilla and explain that this is not a thing.

What a dickhead she is.

If the weddings you attended didn’t make an announcement, obviously they didn’t mind what was posted? It’s not beyond reason that others would mind, is it? It’s one day, their wedding day. How hard is it to just not post? For all the upturned noses here about how stupid social media is why does nobody find it weird that OP was up the next day with a collection of pics to post, including a picture of someone who asked not to be posted.

I 100% think the brides reaction has been OTT but it seems to me like this was possibly her last straw with OP after previous instances, rather than Bridezilla behaviour. Sometimes people are looking for an out from friendships, and you see weddings put an end to them quite often!

Whilst I’m all for respecting wishes (if you understand them of course), I think your friend is grossly overestimating how much random people on the internet give a shit about someone else’s wedding given the important people will have seen it already. I’ll click on photos of a wedding I was at but I scroll past anything else because it’s a snore fest.

Absolutely mental. If they weren’t at the wedding they wouldn’t have gave a shit what her dress looked like or if she decided to rock up in a bin bag.

I’m struggling to understand how you managed to misinterpret being told not to “upload anything to social media” 🤣 Her reaction is OTT at this point though, you’ve apologised sincerely and repeatedly, I’d leave the ball in her court and back off from the friendship if she continues to hold one mistake against you despite your previous, presumably good, friendship.And for god sake, be careful if she has a baby 🤣

Your 'friend' is grossly over-reacting and a total bridezilla.

The big reveal? Is she royalty? Presumably most of her friends were actually at the wedding so saw the dress anyway. This blows my mind, she sounds like a total dick.

Once again, for the people at the back, your wedding matters a lot to YOU and your new SPOUSE and no-one else really cares that much

Oh the drama!!
How could anyone be arsed with this .

Look, I think all this princessy bridezilla behaviour is a bit ridiculous, but she expressly asked people not to upload photos of her on SM as she wanted to be the first to do so once she'd had a chance to see her official photos. You heard this and 'assumed' this didn't apply to you. Why you would assume that, I don't know.

This is like the woman who went to a child free wedding but 'assumed' it didn't apply to her child and asked to bring him. When told no, she collected him the following morning and took him into an invite only brunch which was an extension of the wedding for overnight guests. Despite the fact that he wasn't on the guest list she 'assumed' it wouldn't matter. It did matter and the bride got annoyed. What is the moral of the story here?

Weddings are no longer about the bringing together of two families in a joyous free for all across the generations with some cheese and pineapple on a stick thrown in. These days they are carefully curated, highly colour co-ordinated, carefully choreographed theatrical extravaganzas where everything is done for how it looks on Instagram afterwards, not for how it feels on the day. As a guest you are not there to enjoy yourself. You are there as a 'film extra' to create a nice backdrop to the reportage style photos. As such you must wear what you are told, clap like a seal when told, and don't make any decisions without clearing it with the bride first. Especially not the decision to post photos of the bride before she's vetted them.

Fuck with that at your peril. If you want to flout the rules then flout the rules. But don't act all bewildered when you are pulled up on it.

Because she thought it related only to the ceremony as it was announced before the ceremony, and didnt realise it was also in relation to the party afterwards.

not to upload anything to social media

God forbid guests would enjoy themselves and take photos then publish them.
Some people will have spend too much a lot of effort and money to look like they made an effort for the wedding, what entitled idiot would request for no photos to be taken?

It hurst no-one, and the wedding is never going to be that special that it should stay secret 😂

When I first read this I reread it thinking she must be a celeb or something wanting a ‘grand reveal’ 😂. I’d say she’s done you a favour letting you know whilst you’re still relatively young I assume that she not a ‘best friend’ 🙄

This reveal stuff is ridiculous!

I voted YABU, as you & other guests were asked not to post on SM, and you did.

I think it’s particularly frustrating because her hen was abroad and turned out a lot more expensive than it was initially costed at (which some people actually dropped out over, I didn’t despite it being a stretching time for me financially). I get being pissed off the day after, but we are weeks down the line now. I also got them a really thoughtful wedding present which she hasn’t commented on.

She is embarrassing herself.

Well obviously, as the OP already explained that! But the word “anything” implies, well anything though. If it was just the ceremony, they’d have said “don’t upload photos from the ceremony” surely?