Friend not talking to me because I shared a photo from her Wedding

[ByTidyHare]

I attended my best friends wedding a few weeks ago. The day after, I posted some photos to Instagram which were mainly of me and my DP, with one of them of myself and my friend.

This was posted in the morning and on the same afternoon, my friend messaged me to ask I took it down as she didn’t want any photos posted from the day. I said of course and removed it. Before the ceremony, there was an announcement not to upload anything to social media which I assumed related solely to the ceremony and as we were quite near the back, I didn’t take any photos of this anyway. The photo of my friend and I was taken later that evening.

My friend went on her honeymoon soon after. I learnt from another friend whilst she was away that she was really upset with me for uploading the photo and that it ruined her reveal of the day/dress with professional photos as people would have seen it on my page for the few hours it was uploaded.

I didn’t want to message my friend whilst she was still away so I waited until she returned. I apologised, said I was horrified and that I’d mis-understood the instructions thinking they only related to the ceremony.

She replied to say she was still really upset and that I took away the reveal which she’d only have one chance to do in her life and she can’t believe I ignored her wishes. I again apologised but she hasn’t spoke to me since and I’ve learnt from another friend that she doesn’t think she will forgive me.

AIBU to think my friend is now over reacting or is her reaction proportionate?

Marriage is about love, not publicity. Marriage is not a marketing tool… it’s a celebration. Well done for being so excited about her wedding that you wanted to share! Your friend’s a first degree knob… ditch her and move on.

This she’s being absolutely ludicrous. And anyone that was interested in her wedding would probably have been there so what’s a “big reveal” in her eyes means probably noting to anyone that will see her photos. And people also need to stop thinking they can tell other people what to do. All these “instructions” for guests. It’s completely self obsessed and over the top.

A reveal? WTH. She needs to get a bit of perspective.

Is she overreacting? Yes. But you were thoughtless and I can see why she's annoyed when they went to the effort of specifying no photos. There may have been others who couldn't attend she wanted to be able to show nice photos to. At the end of the day it's her wedding, she's spent the money on a good photographer and she wants to continue celebrating as she and her partner sees fit so whether or not it makes her a bridezilla is neither here nor there.

You've apologised, I'd do it again properly in person when you next see her and then there's nothing more you can do.

I hate to be that person but statistically, with divorce rates as they are, she’ll likely have another chance to post wedding pictures.

Shes being silly.

I fear there may be more shockers to come!

Genuinely, if I ever got married again (divorced and was married before social media existed) I would be creating an album on the platforms I use and adding friends to be able to share their photos to the album as the day unfolds. I can’t understand this precious thing where no one can see the dress. The important people are surely at the wedding and seeing it as the bride appears wearing it. The social media big reveal is for people the bride isn’t obviously that friendly either as they haven’t been invited.

People are getting caught up in the reason but frankly it doesn’t matter. She asked you not to show pictures of her wedding on social media and you did. Just 24 hours later.

not ok. Even if you want to scoff her being precious. So what. She asked you not to.

Exactly!

putting up pictures for all the world to see of someone’s wedding or baby when they have expressly asked you not to is insanely mannerless

She sounds ridiculous and not much like a best friend anyway

I think your friend is bonkers. You’ve apologised so there’s nothing more you can do and the whole idea of revealing the dress is ridiculous anyway. It’s almost as if she’s looking for an excuse to be annoyed with you.

She is overreacting especially as you apologised profusely and explained the misunderstanding but weddings can do strange things to brides. I remember my flower lady went on holiday and my bouquet was done by her assistant instead and looked nothing like the picture I had provided. Im pretty chilled out normally but I hated this bouquet. It was so far removed from what I had requested and i wanted to throw it in the bin. I was upset about it for ages. I think when you plan a wedding you have a final vision in your head and meticulously plan everything to meet that vision thinking you have everything covered. You carry that vision around in your head for months and then if something goes unexpectedly wrong and its beyond your control to make it right, the disappointment is amplified tenfold. It's not that she's bridezilla or anything, she's just terribly disappointed. She will get over it and I don't think she will throw away a friendship over it. I got over my bouquet eventually.

We went to a wedding and were asked not to post photos until the formal ones were released. Never ever saw them, the bride shared them on her social media platforms but the groom (who we know) did not.

you have apologised. There’s nothing more you can do.

by chance did anyone miss the wedding ? If everyone was there, surely the big reveal was on the day itself….

Would you really say this to a friend? Or to anyone for that matter? Can the bride not be allowed to feel special and important?

But she was the main character. It was her wedding

i don’t think there’s a friendship left because although the poster has said she apologised profusely, here she is on sm asking people’s opinions about the situation.

that’s a big problem because it’s clear she is minimising her actions. She’s behaved in a mannerless way for some reason but wants people to say her best friend is overreacting

Because she is overreacting and the vast majority of replies agree with that.

It might be "mannerless" to ignore a request but it's just as mannerless, more so, to make your wedding something you control so tightly your guests can't just enjoy themselves.

It was a minor transgression by OP. If the bride insists on continuing to take herself and her wedding so seriously she really doesn't sound like anyone who'd be a good friend generally.

Thinking about it.... who would the big reveal be for? Everyone she cared about would have been at her wedding surely? So the only people she is revealing for are for the facebook/ Instagram whatever followers who won't give a shit anyway

this.. It was her news not yours.

You've apologised, but it's coming across as though you are not that sorry you did it, more sorry because she's really mad about it, it feels like you don't really think you did anything wrong and that she's overreacting. Maybe she is, but she asked people to let her publish her own photos first and you ignored that.

The excuse of thinking she only meant the ceremony, doesn't ring true.

You're her best friend... so you must know her well, it was something that was important to her, however silly other people might think it is.

She's probably more upset that she can't trust her best friend to respect her wishes, than about the "reveal"

Why the fuck does everything have to posted on SM anyway ? You both need to grow the fuck up

Cutting off a friend for accidentally doing so, is insanely self obsessed and callous. I think I’d rather have made the OP’s mistake than be the ‘friend’ in the scenario.

If you’re wanting to salvage this, OP, I’d have a think to see if she’s been a supportive friend in other ways, in hard times, illness, family issues? Is she a perfect friend in every way that’s just gone off on this one thing? I’m assuming she must think she’s absolutely perfect to justify behaving this way for this one thing. Did she thank you for your wedding gift and attending?

Personally, I prefer my friends not to be perfect, given I’m not.

If she’s your BF why did she have you at the back for the ceremony?
she’s clearly being precious because she was using the wedding to sell more of her shit MLM perfume on social media when she gets back and she feeds off drama.
You were wrong, but she does not sound like a best friend either.
You probably need to let her figure out that she is not that special.

Ditch.
You don't need the special and wet.

You shouldn't be sharing pics of people without permission (nevermind after being specifically asked not to - which I get was a misunderstanding on your part but you could have tried to clarify that first). Lesson learnt hopefully. BUT I do think she's overreacting now and should have accepted your apology and moved on, especially as you took it down straight away.

What a massive overreaction - as if anyone could care less about their wedding in all reality. And if anyone really was that bothered they surely would have been in attendance anyway! It’s like baby name or baby gender reveals - no-one cares, people need to get over themselves.

She sounds very precious.