To think son’s school should be making special allowances for his ADHD

[charl87x]

My son has ADHD and takes medication. He only has it on school days to help with his concentration. Some days he doesn’t want to take it so he doesn’t. On the days he doesn’t take it, it reflects on his school work, especially his hand writing. Twice he has had his pen license taken away, and this is on the days he hasn’t had his medication. I try to convince him to take his medication but he just refuses on some days. He’s still coming to terms with having ADHD, and although he knows the medication helps, still refuses some days. Am i wrong to be annoyed that he is having his pen license taken away? It just seems to me they are making no special allowances for his ADHD. He came home from
school on Friday really disheartened about it. What i find worse is his teacher is the school SENCO. I would have thought she had more understanding of his needs. Should i complain about this? I dont want him to think having ADHD allows him to get away with things but also think slight allowances should be made.

Does he have an EHCP (or equivalent if you’re not in the UK)?

Yep agree with above, an ehcp would state about things like medication and pen licenses.
its an agreement between the parents, school and LA and states his needs, what adjustments need to be made for him etc

I think they should have a support plan in place and overall I think it sounds unreasonable of the school

however I think your son is making a choice to not take the medication sometimes and that has consequences. He can’t then be disheartened by those consequences. He needs to understand that. It may motivate him to take the medication.

talking of a pen license sounds like he’s in year 4ish, so young to understand consequences but as he gets older and school gets more serious, not taking the medication will mean he is more likely to fall behind due to lack of concentration that day. He does over time need to come to that understanding. Can you give the medication every day so it becomes a routine?

@QuizzlyBearsNo, he doesn’t have an EHCP.

Do you not think the school has enough to do?

Your DS knows he needs to take his medication. It is his choice not to, and losing his pen licence is the result. Actions have consequences. He's not receiving detention or being excluded. It is a proportionate response.

Your son may be disrupting other children's education unnecessarily. His teacher may have multiple children with special needs to deal with. You just need to help him understand that if he wants to keep his pen licence, he needs to take his meds.

Can you make them more appealing? Mix them with some chocolate spread etc.

I think provided it is done calmly and kindly it might help him to understand what the meds do and how they help him. It's noy like they're taking away his playtime or throwing away his work or making him redo it. DS has ADHD so I do get it but this is a minor consequence that shows him why the meds are a positive thing. The reality is that he will grow up into a world that will, unless you take drastic steps like home ed, require him to fit in with the "norm" . When he's a teen he'll need to sit for 50 min lessons, do exams, etc. The meds will make all that so much easier. Try and frame it to him as a positive. I'm not a fan of the whole "superpower" approach to ND, but as your ds is obviously quite young you could maybe try to explain it to him as the meds giving him an extra boost (like Popeye and spinach but with a more up to date analogy!)

Can you check with his psychiatrist or GP (if they have a shared care agreement) about possible implications of taking his medication sporadically. My Ds was advised to not skip his tablets regularly because of the affect this has on the body. And if your DS is not taking ti regularly or on weekends it is likely to not be truly effective when he does take it.

But it is worth having a discussion with the teacher. They should be at least aware of his needs and as you say it does not sound like they are making adaptations.

Get one. It took us 4 years of fighting with the school (mainstream) collecting evidence etc, the senco thought because he was happy he didn’t need one 🙄
he’s now in a special school.

I hate pen licenses with a passion but that isn’t really the point of this thread.
if all he needs his medication for is to have better handwriting then a reasonable adjustment from school is to make a keyboard available and he does it on that instead. Having a lap top or similar readily available to use if he feels he needs it could just be a small change that reduces quite a bit of pressure on your ds.

I think as hard as it is your DS needs to see the link between his choice not to take his medication and the impact it has on his day.

School can only do so much he needs to learn to help himself too.

@Temporaryname158he is in year 4. I do try to encourage him to take it daily and he just refuses. I explain how much better he performs in school when he has taken it and he is proud of the work he does when he’s taken it, but then on some mornings refuses.

So if his writing isnt up to scratch on one day then the pen license gets taken away that day?
That does seem ridiculous if thats the case. I never even knew that a pen licensezcould be taken away. I just thought that once you've earned it, then that's that.

I would have a conversation about it yes. I'd just say that your son has told you this is whats happening and you'd like to clarify if that is the reasoning or not.

children get pen licenses when their writing is readable. It’s much more difficult for a child to write in pen, you need to focus, control the pen with more dexterity.

Is the pen being taken of him because his writing is difficult to read? That is more of an adaptation than a consequence.

Why does he refuse?

@AgixHe hates the fact he has ADHD. And taking medication reminds him his has ADHD. He doesn’t tell anyone he has it at school, only his teacher’s know. And i’ve told him no one will know you have it because you are taking the medication at home but he still refuses some days.

I think teaching your son action and consequence is part of life and the pen licence is part of that. Not taking his ADHD medication means there is a consequence, and the pen licence isn't taken away forever, he can resolve it.

However for him the removal of the pen licence isn't the only repercussion of him choosing to not take the meds, it's just the easiest to measure. He will move, fidget, be inattentive, be having gaps in his knowledge, the teacher can't see what he can/can not understand to plan for the next lesson if they can't read his writing. Not taking his meds acrually has a much bigger impact.

I know it is hard to take daily meds, and having that understanding is so tricky at that age. Have you found any videos online about how to explain the meds to kids, there was one I watched a while ago which showed two videos side by side of someone watching something before and after meds and the difference was really interesting to see. It might help your son by developing his understanding.

Also, your son needs to be taught now that he has a responsibility in this. And it is best to teach him now before the teenage years hit. I would actually see the pen licence as a way of the school supporting you as they are being the 'bad guy' and it is a very clear and simple result of him making a choice.

Honestly, he’s choosing to not take his medication and then having to deal with the consequences of that. I would leave him to it but point out that he chose that when he didn’t take his medication. He is going to have to develop strategies to manage his life as a person with ADHD, they world won’t always make allowances for him so the quicker he gets onboard with that the better.

Also, I see you say he hates having ADHD. Look at all the famous people who have ADHD and are neurodivergent. They are amazing.
Kindly, when a parent as adhd there is a 50% chance their kid have it. So some professionals are discussing that when a kid comes into an appointment the professional should be looking at the parents too as our generation have gone undiagnosed, especially women as we present different to men where all the research has taken place. My son has adhd and I suspect I do too. When my son struggles I point out our similarities in a light hearted way, so he doesn't feel alone.

Some wild responses on this thread. Depending on what he is taking most ADHD meds can be taken sporadically with no issues. Of course he should have a choice and not take them if he doesn’t want to. I’m astonished that people think an 8/9 year old should be forced to take medication to ‘improve’ his schoolwork. The school should be better at accommodating him and you need to push for this.

@BookArt55That’s a good idea. I will look at some videos to watch with him.

He is 7. You need to parent and stop letting him make choices he is not old enough to make.

If he is prescribed medication then his adhd is obvious severe. then you need to make him take it. And stop letting him avoid it. Stop being his friend and start parenting your child.

Would you allow him not to take it if he was atype 1 diabetic who wasn't keen on taking his insulin?

The school may not be handling it well, but they are not the real.issue here.

OP, there is a child in my class who has moderate/severe ADHD according to his assessment report.

He is unmedicated and, of course, I make several adjustments throughout the day for him. I also have three other children with diagnoses of ADHD and two others with ASD and two with trauma based behavioural needs.

So I am not unaware of, or unsympathetic to, the situation.

He will learn that if he doesn't want to lose his pen licence, he will need to take his medication. In the meantime, reasonable adjustments are just that. It doesn't mean the rules don't apply.

In reality, losing a pen licence is a very small and relatively unimportant way of him learning to take responsibility for himself, his own needs and understanding the consequences of his choices.

But if he is choosing not to take his medication if anything the school taking away the pen licence is a good thing it shows his choices have consequences so surely that will reinforce him taking the medication.

You are the parent, make him take his medicine, or both of you accept the consequences. It is only going to get worse if you don't step up and take some parental control.

I think pen licenses should be banned. Lazy teaching and just an awful message to send to kids with dyspraxia, ADHD etc - you are not qualified to write. It’s perfectly possible to read writing in pen. We don’t have them and manage just fine to read untidy writing written in pen. It’s bolder for a start.

Children currently in year 4 and 5 missed a lot of crucial handwriting teaching due to lockdown.

Re ADHD meds, my dc have been encouraged to give themselves days off by their psych.