To think son’s school should be making special allowances for his ADHD

[charl87x]

My son has ADHD and takes medication. He only has it on school days to help with his concentration. Some days he doesn’t want to take it so he doesn’t. On the days he doesn’t take it, it reflects on his school work, especially his hand writing. Twice he has had his pen license taken away, and this is on the days he hasn’t had his medication. I try to convince him to take his medication but he just refuses on some days. He’s still coming to terms with having ADHD, and although he knows the medication helps, still refuses some days. Am i wrong to be annoyed that he is having his pen license taken away? It just seems to me they are making no special allowances for his ADHD. He came home from
school on Friday really disheartened about it. What i find worse is his teacher is the school SENCO. I would have thought she had more understanding of his needs. Should i complain about this? I dont want him to think having ADHD allows him to get away with things but also think slight allowances should be made.

If this was insulin for diabetes, you wouldn’t allow him to refuse, so why is a 7/8 year old being able to write the narrative here.

you know he performs better with it, so does he. I’d sit him down at a calm time and explain it is mandatory from now on and there will be a consequence for not doing so.

its our job as parents to make sure they have all they need, enabling them to do well at school. You need to ensure he takes it daily.

I think taking away his pen license is a bit harsh, but I imagine the school are exasperated by your son's change in behaviour when he doesn't take his meds so they are trying to offer a consequence that might make him take them consistently.

He must be on such a rollercoaster of emotion - you need to work really hard with him to understand that he must take them every day, otherwise you are being unfair on him, the school and the other children in his class.

Reality is he does have ADHD and the medication helps, it's understandable he doesn't like taking it and that he's struggling to come to terms with his diagnosis; but this helps highlight to him the correlation between not taking it and not performing as well at school. The school are doing the right thing imo. My brother has ADHD and he refused his meds through most of his childhood and teenage years and the school just gave up on him really- this is much more likely for him to see the benefits for himself and to make the decision he sees the value in taking them. Work with him outside of school to work through his emotions around it and encourage him to take them, as others have said you wouldn't shrug your shoulders if it was for asthma/diabetes etc.

I can’t believe parents send kids in to school without medication. And then expect them to get special allowances. He needs to take his medication and there are consequences if he doesn’t.

Children are often advised to take medication on school days only or even skip it during the school holidays, we have this with lots of the children we work with

Lots of children however dont want their medication in any case or are hit and miss with it as OP points out.

Exactly this! My son is 99.9% ADHD but is too young. We (his parents) have discussed potentially giving him medication but this far we have managed well enough without it!!

I would say in this instance it was wrong to revoke the pen license, but then it may be in the policy. I HATE pen licenses with a passion anyway (I’m a teacher and if pushed I wouldn’t have them in my school) and as someone who had minus housepoints as a child because of poor presentation it has had a significant impact on my mental health!

Does your son have any side effects from his medication? As an adult I am on the adhd meds which work best for me with the least amount of side effects but there are still some. Even as a child I would have wanted a choice whether to take them or not.

Some rather ignorant comments on this thread.

OP it sounds as if he is struggling to deal with his ADHD. My daughter can be the same, she asked me the other day if she will always have it.

I looked online and researched the positives of ADHD and showed her all the famous people who also have it.

I also purchased a book that explained it in a more kid friendly way.

she would refuse her meds sometimes too, it’s actually said not to force them as then it can make them push back all the more…

DD is now OK taking her meds after we changed them to ones she can crush and then take rather than ones she has to swallow. Could this be an option for your DS or is it purely because they remind him of his ADHD that he refuses?

Also for everyone bleating on about him refusing, we all want body autonomy, children are no different in that!

Let him continue to choose and accept that omitting the meds means he’s not able to use a pen. It’s hard for him coming to terms with adhd. The comparison with life-saving medication is not valid.

Some days he doesn’t want to take it so he doesn’t.

how ridiculous. Stop giving him the choice

No, do you actually know what taking ADHD meds feel like or what his psych has suggested or told him to do?

I'm shocked at the responses saying to force him to take medication! It's his body and mind. Medication is not a cure, it can have side effects and can be awful when it wears off at the end of the day. I don't blame him for wanting a break sometimes. Of course this should be accommodated at school.

The only consequences should be the natural consequences not being punished.

Ultimately it has to be his choice, the OP needs to gently help him understand the differences on days he doesn’t take it so he can make that choice himself.

He’s 7 years old. A little boy. Who’s parent has abdicated decision making (and therefore responsibility) to him.

He should never have been given a choice. He takes the medication, the end, crack on with your day.

You need to work with the school, why doesn't he have an EHCP? I would assume he is at least on their sen register? Do you have meetings with the teacher/senco? There must be a reason they are taking this action considering the senco is his teacher.
While I agree it is his choice to take medication, he needs to be aware of his actions if he makes that choice. I assume the pen is just removed from him for that activity?
I agree with others it is unlikely the pen is the only issue if he is going to school unmedicated and if he doesn't have an EHCP there is going to be little support given other than by the teacher, so he won't be able to access movement breaks, time out of the classroom as they may not have the staff to facilitate this. The teacher has to have some kind of consequence, and children with sen needs often respond well to boundaries and rules.

Pen licences are awful things as they embarrass the children with bad handwriting and make them think they are bad at written English. They should all just be allowed to use a pen at a certain age. If he has ADHD, he will be allowed to type in exams. I would get him started on a typing program so he gets used to typing. He will be in secondary school before you know it and it will be useful for him to have this skill and good for his self esteem.

Quite a lot of children with ADHD don’t like taking their medication which isn’t totally surprising. Most children I teach, develop a pattern of when they take it and settle into it. Mon-Thurs or Mon-Fri. Some never really take to it though.

It sounds like he feels quite down about his diagnosis. Do you know of any older boys who he admires that have adhd? It might make him feel better about it if he knows about them or even has a chat with them.

You have a bigger more pressing problem than a pen licence. Your year 4 child is refusing to take medication prescribed to him and you let him call the shots in this. This needs sorting before anything else.

The majority of children with SEND don’t qualify for an EHCP and don’t need one, so it isn’t surprising he hasn’t got one.

Surely him having his pen licence taken away is a bigger reminder of him having ADHD. Tell him that next time he refuses his medication.

Do what you need to at home to get him to take it. Sticker charts, rewards whatever.

Him taking his medication for school is better for everyone so make it happen.

It seems v odd that this medication is optional at his age. You have decided with his doctor that he needs medication. Why aren't you insisting he takes it? At that age it should be given to him at his breakfast and that's that. Take control.

Children should not be forced to take ADHD medication for the reasons below:-

”While medication can be an effective part of an ADHD treatment plan, the decision to use it should be made in consultation with the child, their parents, and their healthcare providers, taking into account the child's individual needs and preferences. There are also other treatment options available, such as behavioral therapies, that can be effective in managing ADHD symptoms.

Here's why forcing medication is generally not recommended:
Child's Rights:
Children have the right to make their own medical decisions, especially when they are able to understand the implications of those decisions, a concept known as "Gillick competence".

Psychological Impact:
Forcing medication can create a sense of powerlessness and resistance, potentially hindering the child's ability to cooperate with the treatment plan.

Alternative Treatments:
ADHD can be effectively managed through various approaches, including behavioral therapies, educational support, and lifestyle modifications, which should be explored before resorting to medication.

Ethical Considerations:
Forcing medication can be viewed as a form of coercion and a violation of the child's autonomy.

Instead of forcing medication, a more collaborative approach is recommended:
1. Open Communication:
Talk to the child about ADHD and the potential benefits and drawbacks of medication.

2. Involve the Child in Decision-Making:
Allow the child to express their views and preferences regarding treatment options.

3. Explore Alternative Therapies:
Consider behavioral therapies, educational interventions, and lifestyle modifications as part of the treatment plan.

4. Work with Professionals:
Consult with a child psychologist, psychiatrist, or other healthcare professionals to develop a comprehensive treatment plan that aligns with the child's needs and preferences.

5. Seek Professional Guidance:
If a child is struggling with taking medication, seek guidance from their doctor or other healthcare providers to address any concerns or side effects.”

It isn’t a life saving medication. It is more the equivalent of taking HRT and deciding it doesn’t suit you because it makes you feel worse. Not all ADHD medications work for every child.

Also for everyone bleating on about him refusing, we all want body autonomy, children are no different in that!

Aye, but then it's important to learn there are consequences. Helping support a child manage their ADHD at a young age sets them up so well in life, learning natural cause and affect will help him make more informed decisions about taking it.

It is interesting how medication for adhd is seen as different to other medication. It is a medical need but it is somehow optional? Why?

I have tried everything to encourage him to take it on the days he refuses. But i can’t force him. He is 9 years old and has the right to make his own choices. Even his ADHD nurse has stressed the importance of never forcing him to take his medication for many reasons.