To think son’s school should be making special allowances for his ADHD

[charl87x]

My son has ADHD and takes medication. He only has it on school days to help with his concentration. Some days he doesn’t want to take it so he doesn’t. On the days he doesn’t take it, it reflects on his school work, especially his hand writing. Twice he has had his pen license taken away, and this is on the days he hasn’t had his medication. I try to convince him to take his medication but he just refuses on some days. He’s still coming to terms with having ADHD, and although he knows the medication helps, still refuses some days. Am i wrong to be annoyed that he is having his pen license taken away? It just seems to me they are making no special allowances for his ADHD. He came home from
school on Friday really disheartened about it. What i find worse is his teacher is the school SENCO. I would have thought she had more understanding of his needs. Should i complain about this? I dont want him to think having ADHD allows him to get away with things but also think slight allowances should be made.

@Delatron I didn’t at any point say everybody suffers from side effects or they are a given. But when those are the potential downsides to these meds. We are weighing up the pros and cons

Read what you wrote again. Very clear intention for it to be read a certain way, that being it was what will happen. There was no language to suggest it was potential or individual dependant. In short, it was in no way measured, did not discuss frequencies (still waiting for you to clarify that), and really fell short of the balanced information you are obliged to provide patients.

So you are saying that potential side effects are not a consideration with these drugs? Ok. That’s irresponsible and incorrect on your behalf.

My son is on a very low dose. It still impacts his appetite and he was underweight. Which as an active 16 year old boy, has to be a consideration. This is the lowest dose available.

My friend’s daughter suffers from a low mood with them. Therefore had to choose when to take them and weigh the benefits versus the downsides.

It’s ridiculous to suggest there are no downsides to these drugs!

If the effect of not taking it is preferable, then that's a choice. But OP says her son is upset when he loses his pen license - that is just the reality of the choice he is making.

If I don't wear glasses, I won't be able to see as well. I can accept that consequence, or I can wear glasses. But I can't choose not to wear glasses, and also get the benefits of seeing clearly.

It's the same here. If the side effects of meds are preferable, that's a choice. If the effects of an unmedicated neurodevelopmental disorder are preferable, that's also a choice. But in order to make an informed choice, the realities can't be hidden or ignored.

Pen licenses are wrong for so many reasons so he is entitled to feel pissed off.

My children that are on it have lost way too much weight, they don’t feel great in it at times. It is most definitely down to the patient as regards taking it.

Exactly this! If every child had special arrangements the teacher would have no time to teach! Not taking his meds has a consequence and I’m sure it sucks but he will have to get used to that throughout his life unfortunately.

Sh33pless so what would you do instead to make children achieve and continue to write in a speedy and legible manner?

Yes! Just discipline your child until he is no longer neurodivergent!

If this works for other disabilities too, you've hit on a great way to save the country billions of pounds. Who said complex issues can't have simple solutions?

I know right? So insightful!

Having hard to read handwriting shouldn’t mean he won’t achieve or be able to write fast. Access to writing on a laptop, regular handwriting interventions focusing on the letters and joins that are particularly troublesome, use of pens like Stabilo Easygraph….

Just saying “ignore your disability and write like everybody else or you will be held up as an example and denied the use of a pen,
you are not qualified to write” is poor and lazy.

He really won’t. Adults the adhd are not forced to take adhd meds and neither are children.

The worst teacher we had with DD2 (who has autism, inattentive ADHD and severe dyspraxia) was the school SENCO. This woman was the one who reduced DD2 from typing a page of good quality, well grammatically structured writing with a great vocabulary - to writing the date, title and one sentence in a ball of anxiety about the writing needing to be perfect or she'd be kept in for yet another break time to re-write it all. That damage took two years to undo. This is the one who introduced so many rules that DD2 was scared to ask to go to the toilet and sat in her own faeces as a result. We ended up moving school to get away from this woman and we were not the only SEN family that she succeeded in hounding out of the school.

We're lucky in that DD2 was that bit older when she had the ADHD diagnosis confirmed and DD2 is a massive massive people pleaser who wants to do the right thing and she was very aware that things wouldn't stay in her brain and it was hard for her to do things - and we have an amazing paediatrician who explained everything really well to her, and massively involved her in the diagnosis and titration processs - so DD2 has that feeling of ownership in her medication to the point that (she was 11 when she started on the medication and it was her choice to do so) she can tell you what period in school it kicks in and when it feels like its tailing off - we've got it so it kicks in during tutor time and starts to wear off during final less on the day so it's working well in that regard.

Pen licences - fuck those things - DD2 never ever got one, despite trying desperately, and DD1 got one despite having shit handwriting and not putting effort in - I hate them with a passion.

I'd try getting your son involved a bit - some form of a chart tracking when he takes his medication, how his brain feels when he does it, and how his school day goes (in terms of behaviour, pen licence shite etc) - see if he can make the connection himself with a bit of guidance from you (possibly use something like emojis for the ratings scales) and then at least he's making a decision with better information, or you've got some more information to take to your next review if things need titrating at all. If he has a run of days where he doesn't take it with a string of poo emojis or something similar - it might make the penny drop for him.

As for taking it everyday - we've been advised not to, we take it school days only - partly to reduce the amount of time she's taking a pretty potent drug, and partly to eek out supplies since the supply shortages still recur sporadically!

Children with SEN do need to understand that actions have consequences.

This is his consequence.

It depends which medication.

Atomoxetine is a non-stimulant drug for ADHD which works more likes an anti-depressant in needing time to take effect so should be taken every day.

Stimulants - it depends which one and how long-acting it is. Some psychiatrists recommend taking every day to reduce potential peaks and troughs. Others will say fine to take it when you want. Most will advise taken it every day while getting used to it.

Different psychiatrists have different opinions.

Skip the pencil, just use the pen