To think son’s school should be making special allowances for his ADHD

[charl87x]

My son has ADHD and takes medication. He only has it on school days to help with his concentration. Some days he doesn’t want to take it so he doesn’t. On the days he doesn’t take it, it reflects on his school work, especially his hand writing. Twice he has had his pen license taken away, and this is on the days he hasn’t had his medication. I try to convince him to take his medication but he just refuses on some days. He’s still coming to terms with having ADHD, and although he knows the medication helps, still refuses some days. Am i wrong to be annoyed that he is having his pen license taken away? It just seems to me they are making no special allowances for his ADHD. He came home from
school on Friday really disheartened about it. What i find worse is his teacher is the school SENCO. I would have thought she had more understanding of his needs. Should i complain about this? I dont want him to think having ADHD allows him to get away with things but also think slight allowances should be made.

But the consequences are not fair and shouldn’t be in place.

Well, when you have a child who has been unable to get out of bed for two years, or make it through a term of 6th form and dropped out twice before attempting suicide… medication is a fucking awesome option.

ETA… and as a result of medication, she has distinctions in a L3 diploma and a place at a russell group university. So, please, take your sanctimony and shove it. Thanks.

You don't know why the consequences are in place, there's obviously a reason.

It must depend what you're on as we were told its absolutely fine to stop and start. Short acting/half life.

They actually told us it was better to stop and start as it helps maintain sensitivity to the drug.

Yes ours said the same. Better not to take it daily.

Absolutely this.

Some of the responses regarding forcing controlled drugs on a child beggar belief.

I think some posters are more in need of a psychiatrist than the kids with ADHD.

Actually I think it is wrong to take away his pen licence, given it's very clearly due to his ADHD - a condition he can't help.

If someone broke their arm would you take away their pen licence because they couldn't write?

Taking ADHD medication especially at first, and especially for children, is no walk in the park either so the solution isn't that simple.

DD has ADHD. She needs medication to function on any level. She knows this and yet I would never force her to take the medication and quite often, she refuses.
In DD's case, she refuses because the side effects are awful, but the issue remains the same, without it, she cannot function.
Should she be punished for refusing the medication? I don't think so. It is her right to choose whether to take it, after weighing up the consequences.
The school can and should offer support whether your child takes the meds or not.
Do people on here who are advocating forcing this child to take this medication realise the risks versus benefits of ADHD medication? Sometimes the risks are not worth the benefits, and it's not for a school to make that judgement! They should support with or without the meds. They could easily provide the child with the support he needs at far lesser risk than the meds, so that seems the logical solution to me, rather than pressuring him to take a strong drug that he doesn't always want to take.

I have children on ADHD meds and it has been life saving for 2, 1 of whom has tried to take her own life for however even her psych did not order her to take it. Like many I don’t take it myself and I have other dc who don’t. It is down to the individual themselves, how much and when and there are other ways to live with adhd.

Yes outdated and lazy teaching methods. Pen license- seriously!

They all come full circle 5 times over with a new buzz word. It'll be called something else in 5 years to reinvent it. Nothing goes away they just get renamed and then reintroduced.

The lack of consideration for the severity of the medication that these ADHD children have to take is terrifying. All the medications for ADHD are strong with significant side effects, but that's ok as it makes the child shut up and lose all sense of their own being?
If a parent said I got some mdma from the local drug dealer for my child as there is yet again another shortage you would all be screaming from the roof tops. These are pretty much the same drugs.
Our child would refuse to take it as it made him a shell of a person, made him desperately suicidal and stopped him eating and sleeping, schools response was that it was easier for them if he was held down and forced to take it. (They are pills btw so very hard to force a person to take)
We refused we are not abusing our child and taking away any right to autonomy and right to life that isn't plagued by a 7 year old trying to hang themselves because of the drugs that society says is better because they are now silent individuals.
Medication is not a necessity for ADHD it isn't life saving like insulin as many posters seem to infer.

Many, many teens and adults I know are proud to have ADHD, so yes to finding and sharing with him inspiring talks, and treating it as a unique and potentially exciting element of his personality rather than something to be ashamed of. Make sure he knows you’re proud of him.

It’s good to take breaks from stimulants, these drugs can affect growth in children due to appetite suppression, so all those talking about how they must never be stopped have no clue. The whole “actions have consequences” is kind of bull - of course the school should be making adjustments without an EHCP!

If you son struggles with handwriting could he also have dysgraphia? It’s not uncommon for people with ADHD to also have that, and it can cause physical pain (and cause writing avoidance), you can ask for a separate diagnostic test for it. The school are being ridiculous taking away the pen as a punishment, what Victorian nonsense is this.

What people are basically arguing here is - hold down a child (who is scared and upset about a recent diagnosis ) and force him to take a stimulant medicine which does have huge side effects. Just so his hand writing is a bit neater and he fidgets less..

No it is in no way the same as a life saving cancer drug or a diabetes drug.

Many people choose not to take ADHD medication.

Not everyone has problematic side effects with the medication.

The OP has not suggested her child has issues with side-effects.

Some children want/need breaks, others do not. DD is seeing her psychiatrist on Thursday and is asking him if she could stop having breaks as she is so much happier and more herself on them than off them.

We have found long breaks in school holidays are not a good idea for DD as when she starts them again she has to deal with the rebound issues in the evenings for a few weeks,

Some medications (especially non stimulant) for ADHD absolutely do need to be taken every day as it's dangerous not to.

If you choose not to take the medication and there are consequences as a result then you need to find other strategies to manage those.

It all comes down to what you personally find works for you and means you can function in your normal life.

Nobody is saying hold the child down and force feed him with them. But if it's a case of 'I just don't fancy it', or the struggle is accepting the diagnosis then that is when the parent needs to step in and make the call and help them deal with their feelings around the diagnosis and life on or off medication.

And stimulants are not anything like MDMA - they're more like amphetamines, a completely different family of drugs.

Yes this is the difference, if OP's son was having side effects then that would be a different kettle of fish, he just doesn't want to take them.

Many people choose not to take ADHD medication and then they have to accept the effects of that choice, which is all that's happening here.

It is always a case of weighing up the side effects of these medications versus the positive impact.

People on here seem to want all people and children with ADHD dosed up to their eyeballs every day on stimulant medication (with side effects) to make their lives easier. How about we change schools and work places to accommodate neurodivergent people and children?

I mean this is all about a bloody pen licence! In secondary school he may well be typing on a computer..

Long term side effects of these medication include; changes to blood pressure, myocardopathy, psychosis, mania, low mood, sleep problems, fatigue…

You can understand why it’s a very considered decision. Long term -developing coping strategies and skills is more beneficial.

I didn't say it was a panacea.

PP said it "made them feel wired and unable to talk."

That's too high a dosage.

I take 5mg short release tablets so I can adjust my dose to the correct amount.

@Delatron dosed up to their eyeballs every day on stimulant medication (with side effects)

What is that? What you describe would indicate an incorrect dose. Anything that goes remotely close to zombie, distinct personality change etc means dose is off so tinkering with that, or, like any medication, there is not one that suits everyone, different strengths of different medications should be trialled.,You also need someone really good with this stuff when prescribing, as there are some very average prescribers out there. You really make out it’s an all or nothing thing though.

Long term side effects of these medication include; changes to blood pressure, myocardopathy, psychosis, mania, low mood, sleep problems, fatigue

You write this as though it’s standard or a given. Nope. Some ADHD meds may have long term side effects in some people. Some may have none in some people. Also, when you sprout this stuff, best practice is to include frequencies as this informs risk/benefit profiles which is what ANY medication is about. Could you provide the frequencies for each of the potential side effects quoted above. Also provide comparators for context. For example, with some medicines they have the potential for a very rare side effect where you would have a chance several million times greater of being killed by a hippo, or you would have more chance of dying in a plane crash etc. It’s great to throw potential side effects around but when you do, there is an obligation to advise patients of frequencies and what this means as part of any informed risk/benefit discussion. As you are informing people of medical information, you do need to get this right, or is the intent mindless scaremongering?

Yeah I think this encapsulates my sentiments quite well.

So you’ve chosen to ignore all the other more informed posts then.

No child should be forced to take medication. Year 4 is very young and if you are battling now over ADHD meds it will only get worse at secondary, Why doesnt he just write in pencil alll the time and forget the pen licence?

It’s not scaremongering to point out potential, proven side effects. I have a child on these meds so I am aware that it’s individual and dose dependent. But it is something that we all need to be aware of and on the look out for. This is why some people don’t want to take it all the time or take it for years. To claim there are no side effects to these medications is wrong.

Every person on these medications is monitored - blood pressure (because they can increase blood pressure), weight ( as they impact appetite).

I didn’t at any point say everybody suffers from side effects or they are a given. But when those are the potential downsides to these meds. We are weighing up the pros and cons.

Put your foot down with him and make him take it if he really needs it.
Or try and discipline him to work through his impulse so he doesnt have to rely on his medication for everything/wean him off