Drunken Friday night argument - who was in the wrong?

[FoodLover22]

DP and I had a few drinks last night. We both had a long week with work and a few other stresses and needed to let our hair down.

We were discussing our sex life, it’s mainly good with a couple of gripes but nothing major.

I said how I would like him to be a bit more assertive sometimes and just go ahead and do things rather than consult me. I clumsily said that is how I imagine one of his friends being (I said a name) - I didn’t mean anything by it but in hindsight see it was stupid.

He responded by naming my best friend and saying that he wishes I had an arse like her but that he doesn’t complain. He then said in a sarcastic tone to mimic my comment about his friend ‘I imagine that being great in doggy’.

I went up to bed at this point and haven’t spoke to him since, I know I shouldn’t have said what I did and he took this as a put down, but AIBU to suggest what he replied with was worse? And he should apologise when he wakes up. I don’t know how to play it..

He's dragging it out now. He needs to stop sulking and grow up. It's not even that big a deal.

you must be op to know that he's "sulking " still

either that if your not get your partner to tell you that he/she wants you to be more like your friend who's probably better in bed than you, I mean its not a big deal is it!!

The saying "what's on a drunk man's lips is on a sober man's mind" springs to mind.
He knows that you meant it.
You can't take back words.
He retaliated, you deserved his knee jerk response.

He doesnt "need" to do anything of the sort, he's quite entitled to call time on the relationship if that's what he decides.

OP people aren’t overlooking it but the reality is that it wouldn’t have happened (probably) if you hadn’t said what you said. Your DH said it because you’d hurt him and he was trying to find something comparable that would firstly make you feel like you’d made him feel and secondly make himself feel better. You are 100% being unreasonable and the fact you are calling him pathetic for being upset and angry is just making the situation worse.

I’ve just read your first post to my DP and asked for his view on it. He said if I’d said that to him our relationship would be over as he’d think I’d thought about his friend sexually, he said he’d also come out with a comment to me in retaliation.
You can’t make him forgive you, if you’re genuinely sorry you need to put in the work to get your relationship back on track.
How are things today?

Which is what most on here have said, didn't need a man to confirm it.

@Treesandsheepeverywherei wasn’t getting a man to confirm it 😂 i just asked his opinion.

How the hell would you know whether he's still "sulking" or not? It's 12 hours since the OP contributed to this thread. She presumably gave up because she wasn't getting the response that she felt she deserved. Perhaps you're her mother. That's the only person I can think of who might feel the need to jump in on her side.

I think he had the right to either retaliate in kind (which he did) or sulk. I think it is a bit much to do both!

My point is that @Ottersmith has no way of knowing whether he still is sulking or not, so making that particular comment, i.e. "dragging it out" was ridiculous. They commented a good 12 hours after the OP had given up commenting herself.

You were both in the wrong but you started it and he was just trying to say something hurtful in response.

Also doggy doesn’t always/usually mean ‘up the arse’.

Yes in my house ...Doggy is a 4 legged canine animal called Rover.

I hope that isn’t what he meant when he said he’d like to do her doggy