to ask what you think of this incident with DH?

[JustGoClickLikeALightSwitch]

There's context,obviously, but I'm curious about whether I'm misreading things.

A week ago the weather warms up and DH says it'd be good to get Crocs for the kids, and says he'll order them. They arrive today and it turns out he ordered (knowingly) Crocs which are fleece lined, ie hot. He shows them to me and asks me what I think, I say that they aren't suitable for summer. He says, "I wish I could ever bloody do anything right in this marriage", and stomps off.

Fleece lined Crocs: https://www.crocs.co.uk/p/classic-fleece-lined-clog/211396.html

AIBU?

We need the context

You are right, your husband is an idiot and a sulky, defensive idiot at that.

I get this same response from mine occasionally. If only some men could learn to apply some simple common sense to what should be sraightforward things then they wouldn't need to feel quite so hard done by, quite so regularly.

Well he did a dumb thing.

Are you highly critical of him or just tired of his ineptitude?

I expect you also wish he could “ever bloody do anything right”. Does he generally lack common sense? Or is he competent in all areas of life except family life?

Don't worry, this hot spell won't last. By the time summer comes along it will be damp and overcast as usual and they'll be glad of the fleecy lining.

I wear those in the winter as slippers, they are really warm.
He made a mistake, let him sort it out. 🙄

I’d assume he makes a habit of ill thought through decisions, and that you don’t work as a team to make those decisions.

In my house, we’d probably check with each other- still size 5, right? These fluffy ones look comfy.

Have you checked the lining doesn’t come out? He may have made a stellar purchase, fleece out all summer, then in for the winter.

Next time buy fleece ones in September as slippers. Take the fleece out and they’ll be a bit bigger the following summer as sandals.

He bought those ones because they are on sale. I nearly made the same mistake but zoomed in on the picture. He just doesn't want to admit he made a mistake. 😂

Does he usually get defensive and stroppy when he's wrong?

If not, why this time?

If he does, no surprise , then. He's a twat

The only thing is children's feet have a habit of growing so by the time the weather is suitable for the crocs they might not even fit them !

The latter.

I dunno, OP. In the context of a generally nice reciprocal thoughtful relationship where both partners pull their weight and support each other, this could be a minor strop because someone's embarrassed about their purchase and having an off day. Could mean something totally different if there is "context" depending on what the "context" is.

PS you were right, though, I have a pair of much-loved pair of fleecy Crocs and the moment it gets much above 14 degrees they're unbearable

I would assume that he feels ashamed of himself because he cocked up, he can see he cocked up and you pointed out that he cocked up. Is this a perpetual thing? But his response is pretty standard 'I feel like an idiot so I'm going to sulk about it'.

Do you score points off each other over stuff like this? Sounds like there’s a huge backstory

Your not wrong but it’s not just about what you said tone and expression contribute to how that comment could be perceived

Depends what the context is? how critical of him are you and how often does he really get things wrong?
is this something to squabble over? Laugh, swap them and that’s it. Depends also how you approached the wrong crocs being ordered, was it a oh your silly or was it a ffs wrong again sort of conversation

I bought some of those for £7.99 from B&M.
If he's spent a fortune on 'proper' Crocs it wouldn't just be the fluffy lining I'd be furious about.

*Misses point of thread completely😊

NotgoingtoBarb Really? You think one huffy comment is a shite environment? My DH and I have barely had a cross word in front of the children in 20 odd years, but that comment is ridiculous. People get irritable sometimes. They get irritable with their kids, their partners, the kids get irritable with them, everyone gets irritable with everyone else sometimes. It's called being human and having a family.

I wonder why he asked you what you think?

(it’s because he knew and wanted to displace the blame)

or because he’s unhappy about something else that he can’t say out loud because he know he’ll sound like a prick, so he’s displacing that anger into this manufactured slight.

Either way he needs to acknowledge that before it escalates.

Can you let us know if the liner comes out because I'm thinking of getting a pair but only if the liner comes out. Thanks

He made a mistake. People do that, it's part of being human.

The context is important to be able to see whether his response was understandable or not.

We use the term incident quite differently is my first thought but also I would divorce a Dh who got crocs for my children.