to ask what you think of this incident with DH?

[JustGoClickLikeALightSwitch]

There's context,obviously, but I'm curious about whether I'm misreading things.

A week ago the weather warms up and DH says it'd be good to get Crocs for the kids, and says he'll order them. They arrive today and it turns out he ordered (knowingly) Crocs which are fleece lined, ie hot. He shows them to me and asks me what I think, I say that they aren't suitable for summer. He says, "I wish I could ever bloody do anything right in this marriage", and stomps off.

Fleece lined Crocs: https://www.crocs.co.uk/p/classic-fleece-lined-clog/211396.html

AIBU?

I'm just waiting on mine to finish school and I will be off.

Honestly, he makes 4/5 mistakes a week that effect everyone but takes no responsibility for them.

The liners are removable because after a while they break down but.....the crocs with the liners are made of stiffer plastic than the ones with the holes all round and are not as comfortable to wear for that reason.

Also, if you want to wear them in the sea etc, because they only have the holes in the upper, they don't drain as well.

Also, I would be tired of dealing with continuous incompetence. Does he perform well at work?

He probably saw they were discounted crocs, didn’t look at the spec too much and was proud of himself for grabbing a bargain. His reaction is childish though.

Trying to be a reform school for stupid men is utterly exhausting though. Once he's fucked up half a dozen times, a normal person would think to double check at the next thoughtless endeavour but they never do.

I don’t think you’re nit picking , I think it’s a ridiculous thing to order and anyone with an ounce of sense would not order fleece lined shoes for the summer .

I didn’t even nit pick in this situation (because what was about to happen was visible from space) - my response is as in the OP. I also didn’t mention that buying Crocs from Crocs is an unusual decision imo (£67 for shoes for two preschoolers!), because that’s his decision to make and we can afford it.

Yes.

My frustration is high at the moment because he is home after recovering from (minor) surgery. And so I sorted extra clubs/care for the kids, make sure we had shopping in, made sure the laundry was done in advance, thought about what he and all of us would need, and it contrasts very markedly in my mind with comparable situations when I needed the same from him and got fuck all.

Kind of diverging OT, but I wouldn’t usually buy branded Crocs for tiny ones anyway, I love branded Crocs and don’t think there’s anything wrong with it but mine always loved picking out theirs from the supermarket when doing the shopping, you can get the design that they love rather than plain ones, tiny thing to brighten up their little lives.

So there’s been a silly mistake. What’s the plan now. Because mistakes are allowed but it’s how you deal with it. Will he just continue to sulk and ignore the cause in which case I’d say to him ‘what’s the next step with the crocs. Are you sending them back or do you need me to help?’ Then what’s that’s been decided ‘and what do we do about summer sandles. I think crocs are quite expensive do you think kits worth it or would you like to take them to the shops?’ Open questions but let him take responsibility and be clear he has the chance to fix it without you taking over.

I’d do the same. And he also bought them in white and beige, which feels like an unusual choice for three year olds, but again, it was his decision to make.

I’m also now realising that one of the sizes is likely to be wrong - he bought the same sizes, but they wear different sizes - but I guess we’ll see when the replacements arrive, or not.

This is hilarious though, sorry 😂

Those fluffy inserts just clip out though. In essence he has prepared that kids for warm and hot weather which might be considered a huge plus.

You sound like you have a foot out of the door. I wouldn't blame you. It drives you crazy, especially as if the roles were reversed, he would do 5%.

Do you want to stay or has this tipped you over the edge?

depends on how you said it

the way you wrote it here sounds overly critical

@JustGoClickLikeALightSwitch I laughed at your post cos your DH has no idea how inept he is. I found a coaching approach helped with my DH - not sure if you tried that.

I know men admit they'll do as little as poss and often f-up so the woman takes on the task instead. It's h7gely frustrating - Im now a widow and I admit it's bliss being single!

Or maybe women are just sick of men being shit and after years of this BS, she has finally had enough.

Women wouldn't need to be "critical" if men weren't so useless.

I don’t think they do unless you unstitch them, and then it’s pretty much permanent?

Anyhow I think the crocs are the least of OP’s problems. The general lack of care and concern is looming large. I’m guess she’s close to being maritally done.

He has packaged them up to send back, and ordered replacements (without fleece and in pink and blue).

We must be about £120 down on crocs at this point! Hope the refund is quick.

It doesn’t take a bloody “team” to order a pair of weather appropriate shoes of the right size!!

My boyfriend has a pair like that and they are brilliant. He keeps them by the back door and pops them on when he goes outside with the dog. I have a non fleece-lined pair. Crocs are brilliant.

If you can afford it, just ignore him. Ordering the wrong size though 😬

We all know that MN women are perfect! This one went out to buy a birthday card for a grandchild, don't worry, OH was gardening when I did this bit of 'admin' unsupported. When I arrived back and showed him the card he said She's 8 now, it should be a 9 card!, yes, I'd made a mistake, very unMN!

Personally I don't think ordering your children shoes and getting the wrong kind is being shit. I think we all mistakes and women can be total control freaks which is why they think 'men are shit' ... no you just need to back off sometimes

I think he's a moron. Who wants to wear fleece in summer? Wrong size and odd colours. Bit of a clusterfuck really.

The fleece absorbs sweat so you don't get blisters, though?