Disgusted by school’s response to complaint about pervy teacher - Update

[SophEll]

I have debated whether to post this update but I promised I would in the previous thread (www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5325717-disgusted-by-schools-response-to-complaint-about-pervy-teacher) and I’m someone who keeps their word.

I have had an acknowledgment of my email to the Chair of Governors who assures me they will ensure my previous correspondence with the school will be personally overseen by the Headteacher as opposed to the senior member of staff who replied previously.

The Governor has understandably explained that the school cannot share the details of any internal disciplinary action, but has assured me the head teacher will provide me with a further response in due course, and asked me to provide my contact number. I’ve also confirmed that should it be required, my friend would be happy to provide her account of the evening’s events.

This proves that the school previously dismissing this without investigation was inappropriate, so I must say I’m feeling rather smug right now at this vindication. Given their prompt response, the Governor clearly recognises the reputational impact something like this could have on the school.

Thanks to all those who provided suggestions on how best to proceed (including those who said I should have laughed it off, been flattered etc) - I’ll endeavour to provide a further update once the headteacher concludes their investigation. An impressively prompt response by the Chair - the joys of retirement I guess!

We don’t have the thought police, quite yet. His only crime at school was a thought crime. His behaviour in public was gross/stupid/clumsy pickup line. But that’s it really.

The thing is it isn’t about the comment for the OP. It is about the school and how they have treated her - she herself says she is persistent when she feels slighted and has to keep on going for a win

I don’t think anyone has really said his comment was ok - and is it ok that for the most part most of us would have not really given it much thought - no. But that isn’t what the issue is for the OP

But several of us think that challenging the language could have been done face to face at the time. Not through his employer.

I am a Governor
If this is inded the reponse you got you are being fobbed off

That's the tone I got.... So there now, you're all wrong and I'm right! (Stamp foot!)

This.

When I read the ops first post I thought what a fucking dick thing to say, I wpuod have handled it myself by a very snarky reply. A drunk very inappropriate remark certainly but as a confident woman one I could have handled myself.

But OK you felt it appropriate to escalate it and that's your perogative if you feel it right.

What I take issue with is you coming back with your 'smug' update as if to tell those of us who thought it overkill 'see I'm right', with your smug comment and silly meme. The reason I say it is because you are in exactly the same place as you were yesterday, the school has sent you a placating letter basically saying that they won't be telling you about their internal process (correctly) and it will be a more senior person replying in future.

So your update is not at all what you think it is.

"There is no point engaging with the craziness in this thread anymore."

That is true.

Does this mean you'll stop posting now? 🙏

You might be waiting a while

I’m amazed at the majority of responses here not thinking this is a matter for the school. Teachers have in their contracts about not behaving in a way in public that brings the school in disrepute. The fact that he referenced his workplace in his crude comment clearly does that. If OP was a current parent his behaviour would have been disciplinary level. Slightly different as OP is a former parent, but I still think it is highly unprofessional and inappropriate, and the teacher should receive a written warning over it.

Exactly this! OP you aren’t special - they are more worried about following process. Honestly buy a clue.

Your comments of ‘so I must say I’m feeling rather smug right now at this vindication. Given their prompt response, the Governor clearly recognises the reputational impact something like this could have on the school.’.

You could not be more wrong and this is deluded thinking. Do you have no understand of how these things work?

They are most likely telling you that because you mean to cause issue, problems and can’t see how you are wrong. They are PLACATING you.

No he didn't. He said it to the mother of a former pupil, referencing a parents evening meeting.
There's nothing to suggest he fantasies about children.

Right? Honestly if I had the time that OP has invested into this like she has I could change the world.

And of all the things to complain about it was this.

Would she have reported this to his employer if, for instance, he was the manager of her local Tesco or a local mechanic? I can guarantee that I would find things to criticise in her lifestyle and the way she is bringing up her children and she should be the primary role model, not rely on others.
No doubt she feels very smug in having pushed for this 'investigation' by the school.

Not true. Read the first thread.

That's not at all what happened! Why are you making things up @waterrat ?

The responses on here are a bit strange.

OP if he is still a teacher, he must not be on the list of prohibited teachers, and teachers can and will be struck off for behaviour outside of school that affects their suitability as a teacher. (Although I doubt this is the case here)

https://www.gov.uk/government/collections/teacher-misconduct

No not at all. You look ridiculous posting this. 90% of people don’t agree with you and think you are wrong. Yeah you should feel really proud of being robbed off.

And smugness is so ugly.

You are just making stuff up now or are so illiterate that you can’t read (far more concerning in terms of teaching standards than someone making a pervy comment)
The teacher made a letchy comment to an adult women about how he had previously found her as an adult parent sexually enticing. No teenagers involved at any point.

I think a few people will be saving this ready to repost it when you get the inevitable "no further action" letter back.

As many others have said, no idea why you are feeling so smug. You've acknowledged yourself that the chair replied very promptly -i.e. they haven't actually considered your complaint in any detail so haven't made any decision about whether the initial response was appropriate or not.

They've just confirmed they WILL consider your complaint and the headteacher will be the one looking at it. It doesnt mean it's been escalated in any way, if it had been a different complaint it could have gone to the same senior staff member who responded before, they just need someone different this time so it isn't double handled.

Given that he was talking to you about a hypothetical situation in work and choosing to inflict upon you his highly inappropriate fantasies which he's saying were carried out when he was ostensibly representing the school and acting in a professional, safe for school capacity, I think this is an odd case. He raised the work connection, identified you in that capacity and then shared what would be an offensive fantasy at the best of times - but this was apparently happening while he was in his role as a teacher, either talking about kids or with them, and the fantasy itself was situated in the working environment. I can't imagine it came from nowhere and it's only by different people coming forward that a picture could be built up. Better safe than sorry. I'm glad they're looking into it.

And I’m a teacher and think the OP is utterly ridiculous.

Seriously @waterrat You are So Wrong!
Everything you're saying is wrong, no idea where you got this story that you've made up!

It sounds like you did it just to prove some mumsnetters 'wrong'

You need to let it go because a non issue. You have clearly been fobbed off but are taking it as a win. Embarrassing. You'll get a standard reply in a week's time saying he has been disciplined. I just hope it's enough for you and the witch hunt can stop