Disgusted by school’s response to complaint about pervy teacher - Update

[SophEll]

I have debated whether to post this update but I promised I would in the previous thread (www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5325717-disgusted-by-schools-response-to-complaint-about-pervy-teacher) and I’m someone who keeps their word.

I have had an acknowledgment of my email to the Chair of Governors who assures me they will ensure my previous correspondence with the school will be personally overseen by the Headteacher as opposed to the senior member of staff who replied previously.

The Governor has understandably explained that the school cannot share the details of any internal disciplinary action, but has assured me the head teacher will provide me with a further response in due course, and asked me to provide my contact number. I’ve also confirmed that should it be required, my friend would be happy to provide her account of the evening’s events.

This proves that the school previously dismissing this without investigation was inappropriate, so I must say I’m feeling rather smug right now at this vindication. Given their prompt response, the Governor clearly recognises the reputational impact something like this could have on the school.

Thanks to all those who provided suggestions on how best to proceed (including those who said I should have laughed it off, been flattered etc) - I’ll endeavour to provide a further update once the headteacher concludes their investigation. An impressively prompt response by the Chair - the joys of retirement I guess!

You asked mumsnet if you were being unreasonable. 90% said you were.

Good on you, OP — he’s a pervy creep and he needs to know women won’t just shut up and put up with his rapey comments.

Pleased to hear this OP. I must admit I was surprised at the dismissive attitude you recieved initially. This man himself brought his job into it with his specific reference to sering you in an inappropriate way when meeting you in his professional capacity, so it would be difficult to argue this was nothing to do with his employment. A mother has the right to attend her child's parents evening without being sexualised by her child's teacher and then regaled with his fantasies about her. This man removed your right and potentially caused you to feel discomfort at school events. It's absolutely something the school needs to address.

How embarrassing are you, OP?

Indeed. Bringing my employer into disrepute was always the done thing in all my previous jobs.

If he had just tried to pick her up, or even been overly sexual that would be one thing. But directly referencing their professional encounters is totally different. Bending her over the desk at parents evening?! How can anyone possibly defend that?!

I agree! I was totally surprised. I assumed it was because he was a teacher.

Someone even suggested that because there’s a national shortage of teacher’s, I should have let it slide!

My particular faves were those apps blaming OP for the teacher shortage 😂💩

The problem I have OP is that yes he made an awful comment but all of this the reaction the smugness is about YOU and your need to win, your need to tell the school that you want it to be investigated.

and again I ask what is it you want. Because the vindication you have about all of this. The meme you have sent is about about feeling that you beat him.

Yes his comment was wrong, yes he shouldn’t have said it but the witch-hunt you are doing just to win is disproportionate and could cause real damage to someone’s career.

Maybe you have a point that damage to a career for a misogynistic sexualised comment is right. But that isn’t what it is for you?

and this thread again is all about winning, proving a point being right.

Hilarious!

The chair is just fulfilling their role. It's a complaint that has been escalated and you will shortly get exactly the same response from the headteacher as you did previously - ie it's nothing to do with the school.

That the chair has replied in no way reflects that they think you have a case or that the teacher is about to be disciplined.

Honestly. Stop.

Sensible comments

That’s exactly the kind of response any polite governor would send.

they still won’t take any action because it’s entirely outwith their remit but this nice polite response has left you satisfied and smug.

YA stil BU and nothing will come of up but it’s great that you feel better.

youve ‘won’ nothing

You and your dh seem to be enjoying this rather too much

Memes are childish and the reply proves nothing at all, until you hear back about the second look you dont know if the outcome will be any different at all

Of course theyve sent you a holding reply, what else did you expect?

I’ve been clear from my opening post of the original thread that it’s about the school’s handling of my complaint. The fact it is now being re-investigated by the headteacher is evidence they badly mis-handled it and I look forward to an apology and confirmation they will have closer oversight of their complaints procedure moving forward.

I've literally no idea what your agenda is but you are now forever "that" woman in regards to the school.
Embarrassing that you feel this is a win or anything to do with his employer

Well I think he’ll not do it again so lesson learned.

And to watch the drinking - who knows what the outcome will be if he talks to the wrong parent ( whose child no longer get attends the school, so any parent)?

I can imagine the reactions from senior staff: “Oh God, she’s not going to let this drop, is she?”

I’ve no links with the school - my DC left. If they want to judge someone who was inappropriately approached by one of their staff then that says more about them than me. I’ve thick skin.

The fact that they are looking again literally means only that, it doesn't mean that it was mishandled the first time

No one knows the outcome until it's known

Its a bit premature to be feeling smug and vindicated.

It’s really not evidence that they’ve mishandled. It’s evidence they’ll look but the result may well be ‘not mishandled’.

You are very much unpleasantly smug counting your chickens

So you feel slighted by the school far more than the initial comment upset you?

The collective view from teachers was not unanimous at all. The majority think you're deluded. We're you reading another thread? There was 900odd posts and the vast majority of people said yes it was drunken inappropriate comment but it was one adult to another and nothing whatsoever to do with school. Yes there were a few that agreed with you I'll give you that but maybe you'd like a link to an online dictionary to look up the word unanimous

From the comments on this thread and the previous, it’s easy to see how those “everyone knew what he was like, it was an open secret” situations happen.

Wow this is so, so vindictive.
A man in a club said an inappropriate thing. Please get a grip OP. You're coming across as unhinged.