Disgusted by school’s response to complaint about pervy teacher - Update

[SophEll]

I have debated whether to post this update but I promised I would in the previous thread (www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5325717-disgusted-by-schools-response-to-complaint-about-pervy-teacher) and I’m someone who keeps their word.

I have had an acknowledgment of my email to the Chair of Governors who assures me they will ensure my previous correspondence with the school will be personally overseen by the Headteacher as opposed to the senior member of staff who replied previously.

The Governor has understandably explained that the school cannot share the details of any internal disciplinary action, but has assured me the head teacher will provide me with a further response in due course, and asked me to provide my contact number. I’ve also confirmed that should it be required, my friend would be happy to provide her account of the evening’s events.

This proves that the school previously dismissing this without investigation was inappropriate, so I must say I’m feeling rather smug right now at this vindication. Given their prompt response, the Governor clearly recognises the reputational impact something like this could have on the school.

Thanks to all those who provided suggestions on how best to proceed (including those who said I should have laughed it off, been flattered etc) - I’ll endeavour to provide a further update once the headteacher concludes their investigation. An impressively prompt response by the Chair - the joys of retirement I guess!

“ and I am a person who keeps their word”. 🙄
Very smug. But tbf I do need to read the original thread.

Morally I'm not sure what I think should happen but I don't think he can be surprised if there are consequences here.

It's a bit ill-advised to bring your workplace into social interactions, particularly an interaction like that. Pretty much every professional role will have a contract term about not bringing your employer into disrepute. I'm in one and I can imagine being sacked if I'd said this in a social context to a current, former or potential client (i.e. whether or not my company was actually working with them at the time), and I can also imagine our professional regulator upholding that. I'm not sure it's any different here - schools are effectively businesses too in that their reputation will affect their intake, funding etc.

People have the right to a private life but if you actively remove the boundary between your private and work life I don't think you can be surprised by consequences.

OP - I’m interested in what your husband / partner thought about this?

Apparently this thread and OP’s first one are now being discussed on teacher Facebook groups. The consensus is they hope the teacher in question becomes aware of them and uses them as proof that OP’s complaint is vexatious and she’s not interested in an outcome where the school might say they have warned him about his conduct, she’s really out for blood. Her most recent comments certainly make it seem that way! These groups have tens of thousands of members so it is possible he will hear about these threads.

I hope he even sees it himself because then there is documented evidence of what she has said about him and how quickly it turned into he is a paedophile and a rapist. It only makes his case against her stronger should he choose to go down the harassment route.

Exactly but OP is not responding to this likely outcome and continues crowing over a hollow "victory".

Why are you so invested in defending a man for making misogynistic, sexually aggressive remarks to a woman without her consent?

Why are you so determined that no one should say to him “hey that’s not appropriate. also you only know that woman through your professional role as a teacher to her child. Please be mindful in the future of how you represent yourself and the school as that is not compatible with the professional standards we expect .”

It’s truly disturbing.

That doesn’t surprise me at all. I don’t think the OP gave any thought to the possible consequences of her vendetta. If this was a primary school, it will only be a matter of time before this catches up with the child in their secondary school. Look out for a new thread in a couple of weeks moaning about how her child is being bullied because of the publicity she is whipping up.

Definitely an eye opener . 2 threads almost 40 pages in and posters are still playing the DARVO game- telling OP she is the one who will be done for harassment for following a complaints procedures after she was subject to a misogynistic, degrading and sexual aggressive comment by her child’s teacher. 🫣

meanwhile , they are absolutely desperate to defend this man from any consequences (however small) to the hilt.

I have consistently said throughout that what he said was appalling. I have not defended that in the slightest. But do I think he should lose his job over it? No.

I think most posters, including OP, have no idea how serious it is for a teacher to face a disciplinary and be found guilty of misconduct. It’s career ending. He will never work in a school again. I do not think a comment he made to another adult in a bar in his private life is a school matter and has zero impact on his ability to teach.

Why are there no actions in between doing nothing and losing his entire career? Is that really how teaching works? Surely there are provisions for a warning for example?

I have followed the link and read the original thread. Yep “smug” is the word. Unbelievable is another. Indignant sht stirring. Get that stick from up your a*e.

Which will do doubt detail how she was invited to school and given abject apologies by everyone concerned while the Teacher was made to issue a very public apology to her but she graciously allowed him to keep her job
At this point everyone stood up and clapped.

I think there will probably be a reminder of the professional code of conduct (probably for the whole staff) and an awkward, uncomfortable and very embarrassing conversation but I'd doubt it would go further than that

I really hope this is the case. Her gleeful comments and memes will not look good on her character.

I would say if you're going to these lengths to ruin someone's career and potentially life over a throwaway comment whilst on their own time in a public place and whilst under the influence which diminishes inhibitions.
You absolutely do not have thick skin.

Let it go

I’m not saying he shouldn’t be spoken to, but that’s not how schools work. Because OP has now furthered her complaint to make it about the school’s lack of process it has been escalated and a hearing of misconduct will now most likely happen even if the school doesn’t believe he’s deserves more than a verbal reprimand. I don’t think he deserves all that for a comment made in his private life, awful though it was.

Because people gossip and mud sticks, even if allegations are found to be false whether it from parents, colleagues or pupils. The rumours, gossip and name calling would hang over him and make his position at the school untenable and would cause difficulty finding another role because rumours don't just stay within your own school. A drunken mistake of a comment do not deserve that.

The Teacher allegedly made one (unpleasant) remark to OP then left her alone.
She is on some sort of vendetta here, of course if anyone is harrassing anyone its not The Teacher.
I doubt OP will get the result she wants, I also doubt she will admit that

This thread is wild.

Man makes inappropriate comment in an adult setting to an adult.

Man is a rapist, pervert, danger to women, danger to children. Shouldn’t be a teacher, needs to be punished.

Totally OTT.

Embarrassing.

We all saw how quickly the Chinese whispers on here escalated from him making one sexual comment to he is a rapist who can't be trusted around children because he fantasises about them. Now imagine how much worse that would be within a school environment. He would have a lynch mob of angry parents turning up, students calling him a nonce, making false allegations against him the second he does something they don't like, such as ask them to do their work (because that does happen). The OP has escalated this into a personal vendetta and witch hunt.

If this man loses his career over this it will not be the OPs doing. I'm surprised by the number of people failing to grasp this. The OP has no decision making power. She is a member of the public making a factual complaint to the relevant people about the conduct of one of their employees. Any action they take in response is on them, not OP.
If people believe SLTs and governing boards are so inept they would dismiss this man for gross misconduct, and that his union is so incompetent it would fail to protect him, then that's a serious problem with those bodies. Members of the public should not be expected to stay silent about issues for fear the powers that be are too incompetent to know the difference between potential minor misconduct and a sackable career ending offence.
Enough people have said that this will not lead to dismissal to make it unnecessary to use this to guilt trip the OP anyway. In the very unlikely event it does, we can probably conclude its because the man has history of similar. Which again, is not the OPs fault.

Unfortunately not.
The way the Teaching profession is now nobody has a "quiet word", its very formal and everything has to be documented properly
I am not saying that I don't believe OPs version of initial events but there is no proof of what the man said to her but even so a process would have to be followed and Unions involved and if The Teacher felt he was being treated unfairly he could take legal action against the school
Stuff like this happens all the time,usually pupils who are in trouble claiming a Teacher pushed them or swore at them or other such nonsense. If we launched an investigation for all of them there would be even less time for actual teaching.
Our Chair of Governors would probably look at OP's email and go "Oh FFS" and write whatever meaningless nonsense we though would shut her up as quickly as possible.

@JasperTheDoll Agree.

I would like to know what the OP’s friends and family think about this rapid escalation of such a non event.

They are 100% behind her and are in fact very proud of her I am sure