If you had the money, would you send your kids to private school?

[ItsASunnyDayToday]

We have the money to fund private school for our 2 children if we choose to. We are in Surrey so plenty of private schools to choose from. Kids are year 4 and year 5.

Both me and DH were state educated. First in the family to go to university. Both have good professional careers, so up until now I’ve been set on state education. Thinking that with our support they’ll be fine where ever they go.

However, the local secondary school isn’t great, we only have one option due to catchment areas. It’s massive, 210 pupils per year. Ofsted rating is ‘good’ but the local reputation is mixed. Not a grammar school area so all the kids around here go (or private) which means a broad spectrum of social and academic mixing.

There are lots of private schools around here, which would suit my children individually. Some are very academic and fancy, others much more down to earth.

We have already looked at a few, but I can’t bite the bullet and put the kids in private. I just don’t know what’s stopping me. Morals? ethics? Fear of wasting money? What is it?

The financial side isn’t an issue - it is affordable, through to university if they chose, and we’d still have a good standard of living.

YABU - send your kids to private, it’s for the best.
YANBU - state is fine, even if it is only ‘ok’.

I also used to be a firm no for sending my child to private school. I don’t believe in it and I’ve done well from state school.

That all went out the window when they entered full blown autistic burnout and were unable to go anywhere or eat.

They now go to a very small private school and have emerged from burnout (thank goodness). It’s not the academics for me - I honestly couldn’t give two shits about that. I genuinely feared she wouldn’t survive a large state secondary, I know it sounds melodramatic but I firmly believe it.

Do I feel guilty for all the kids in autistic burnout whose parents can’t afford to send them privately? Absolutely. Will I let that guilt keep my child in state school and burning out? Absolutely not.

What a load of bs. Our private school is far more diverse than any of our local state options.

Where do you think private schools are? Narnia? They are very much in the real world. They also cater for a range of pupils..ours is far more diverse in regionality, ethnicity and in fact wealth than the local pit village comp. You don't have to be scraping by to be "real".

I can afford it easily without stretching our family budget. I have 3 DC. Sent 1st 2 DC initially to state school up to 7 then moved to private prep school.
My 2 DC were happy in the state although not pushed and there were some behaviour issues (didn't bother DC). They hated the private prep, never fitted in, never made friends. They weren't sporty enough, pushy enough, outgoing enough. I struggled with the fact that they could no longer easily have playdates after school due to distance and school finishing later.
They went to grammar school for secondary - one has flourished one not so (and in hindsight I think that one never would have flourished anywhere).
My 3rd DC was not admitted to the private prep as he has autism. I now think thank god they didn't take him. He has flourished in main stream primary and now in a massive main stream secondary comp. The primary school cared about him, were very understanding and made loads of reasonable adjustments and made him feel welcome and wanted. I was never worried they might kick him out like you have to worry at private school. When moving to the massive comp down the road I did seriously consider private secondary for him (there is a small secondary school for boys that is not too pushy near me) but I think whilst he might get slightly better grades in the private he will be a more rounded person if he copes well in his large comprehensive (which he seems to). If he showed signs of being unhappy there I'd whip him out in 5 seconds flat but so far (and he is only in year 7) he is flying. Constant awards for behaviour and outstanding work - he is puffed up like a peacock.
My 3rd DC has a large group of local friends who he walks to meet up with at the weekends. He is independent and sociable. He does a number of local activities and had further friends from those. My 1st 2 DC did not have that due to private school and grammar and I ended up driving them everywhere. So I suppose to answer your question in general state has been better for my kids than private so no I wouldn't; however, completely understand why people might think its a better option.

I’m about to send my kid to private pre-prep school (starting Sep) and hopefully she will stay all the way til 18. I made my decision based on:
(1) I can afford it
(2) I’ve been told she is advanced (for now) so I want help maintain / support that e.g with smaller class sizes snd therefore more attention
(3) I want her to have access to facilities that enable her to feed and nurture her curiosity
(4) Less disruption from poorly behaved students (even kids not yet potty trained etc.) - more of the teacher’s time spent on teaching / better environment to learn
(5) Like minded parents and possibly like minded kids

i think there is no difference in teaching quality at private vs state but the environment needs to be right to get the most out of it. So that’s what I’m paying for essentially.

I have money to pay for it so why would I instead choose to use up government resources when I don’t have to.

Nope.